Apparently I am a Source of Historical Information
I hope you all had a good Thanksgiving, now with all the formalities and pleasantries out of the way it is time to get down to business. It has been brought to my attention recently that a group of girls that are dating or are married to my friends have been combing through my blogs and reading some of my old stories trying to figure out who I have written about and what they have done. (Because I change names, they are only left to guess and assume.)
This started on MySpace I guess awhile back and has ballooned into a little club for them. With friends of these girlfriends joining in on the fun and trying to decipher who is who. It started out with these girls giving jabs to their boyfriends but has begun to cross the line with people getting grilled about events or tidbits that happened a long time ago. As a matter of fact it went so far as one of my friends getting bitched at about something:
1) that happened over five years ago
2) that he wasn’t even a part of
3) that he had no real knowledge of
4) that happened before he knew the girl he is currently with
When I heard about this I knew things have gone way too far. Now none of these girls like me, in fact one of them I have never even met yet she despises me because of things the other girls tell her. Another one, who we will refer to rest of the way as Angela (because she is uptight and frigid like Angela on the Office) couldn’t even bare to thank me for bringing them a baby gift, classy. Apparently I am the root of all evil that makes their men do horribly evil things, which in all honesty after the last few trips out I have had to become the babysitter and keep everyone in line. Yet it is allegedly me that forces alcohol down their throats, strippers into their laps, and makes them stay out to all hours of the evening. It has nothing to them with being so repressed that they die at the chance to actually have some sort of fun in their lives.
Does that mean I am going to stop spinning my yarns and telling my tales? No. What it means is that I need to take the time to address this. I figured I would present this to all of you so you could weigh in on it, and without further adieu I give you: An Open Letter to the Twats My Friends Live With
Dear Twats,
Have your lives become that empty and sad that you need to dig into the past to find something new to bitch at your husbands/boyfriends about? Do you really need to comb through the depths of my blog to find stories that may or may not be associated with your significant other? Now I kind of feel like I shouldn’t tell the story about the Puerto Rican Hooker or the threesome my one friend had while his girlfriend was out of town, wait maybe I am making that up or maybe I am not. Who cares, it is going to drive you insane now.
What happened to having separate interests, separate friends, and separate lives that operate outside your existing relationship that keep the person the original being they are? Because if marriage or a long term relationship is about wiping out who I am as a person and a spirit then I don’t want any part of that.
I am not going to make a case for you to let these men have some sort of semblance of free will. It is obvious that it is no longer an option. So I will just prepare for the impending divorce or horrible break up that will occur within the next 5-7 years, when each of these guys wake up and realize that life is too short to be constantly miserable.
In closing you are more than welcome to comb through my page and analyze everything I write, seeing if a story I am telling involves your boyfriend or husband. But remember I have stories on most of you as well, your psycho behavior, things you have done that are totally inappropriate. I also have stories about your friends that run and tell you what I am posting… And when I write about those stories, maybe I won’t be so kind to change names. Of course you could just drop it and get a life.
With Love,
Kevin
So there you have it, some might say a little unpleasantness coming out of a Thanksgiving break. But honestly it had to be, I can’t have my words used for the evil doings of these uptight and mentally unbalanced women.
What do you guys think is the right course of action? And for people in relationships, are your significant others allowed to have a life beyond what you share?
Read the latest from Bobby Finstock
Read the latest from Donkeysosa
On 11/26/07 at 8:49 am
said:
Well I think you’re right, but that won’t stop the angry mob. As anyone been lynched by a group of women before?
On 11/26/07 at 8:52 am
said:
Well heck, are you saying the last story you told me about, the one with the seamonkeys, peanut butter and cotton swabs, wasn’t really about “you”?
On 11/26/07 at 8:53 am
said:
Wow, you’re friends ALL date nut-jobs? What’s in the water in NY?
Fuck that shit. Out them, out them all. That’s childish behaviour. If you can’t take the fact that your guy has a past then you are living in la la land and need a swift kick in the ass.
Twats indeed.
On 11/26/07 at 9:01 am
said:
Erm yeah, I dig through my boyfriend’s past… (so I am a twat) because he’s SO closed off about it. If he was more open.. I wouldn’t have to dig through his old mails, photos and yearbooks. lol. Just kidding.. yeah.. maybe.
Some girls get psycho about things like that. Unfortunately I am one of them. I admit it. It’s my insecurities… but my boyfriend accepts it and laughs at me. All in all.. I don’t mind him having a past… we all do..
but don’t tell me that when you really liked someone.. you weren’t curious about their past and didn’t sort of obsess about her exes? I watched High Fidelity.
On 11/26/07 at 9:26 am
said:
that is fucking lame. tell those twats to watch soap operas if they want drama….
On 11/26/07 at 10:03 am
said:
LOL. This is their insecurities working Kevin. You need to just be you and let them and their boyfriends work on their self-esteem.
Girls, I have been married 11 years now. We have our life together and our life seperate. My seperate life involves getting too drunk on girls night and his involves getting too drunk fishing with the guys. Those are our times for us, if his friends posted something wacky he did, you know what I’d do? Laugh at his drunk ass and post something making fun of his manhood.
Get some selfesteem.
On 11/26/07 at 10:07 am
said:
I am from the same area as Kevin and I can attest to this bullshit. The water is western ny has a female psycho additive in it. While I don’t have scientific proof, I am about 99.9 percent sure of this. However I don’t find this to be the problem. The problems lies within the fact that with about five degrees of separation, everybody has fucked everybody. Am I wrong Kev?
On 11/26/07 at 10:20 am
said:
You have just given me one more reason to stay single. But, look out for a few nooses, Kevin. Just in case.
On 11/26/07 at 10:28 am
said:
ah yes… communication. the ‘c’ word. I was friends with my husband before we started dating so i heard most of his stories of his wild life, so i didn’t have to dig in his past. the past is the past so who cares…. the present is what’s important. those girls need to get a life. love is wonderful.. don’t mess it up! (god, its monday!)
On 11/26/07 at 10:38 am
said:
Kevin, your a psycho-magnet and after your married their is no seperation really, just an illusion! n your past should remain in the past!!
On 11/26/07 at 10:39 am
said:
Crazy people…
On 11/26/07 at 10:40 am
said:
hmmm….i do believe certain Jay Z lyrics are appropriate here….
“If youre having girl problems I feel bad for ya son, I got 99 problems but a bitch aint one”
On 11/26/07 at 11:55 am
said:
Wow I actually agree that they are being twats, I didn’t know you used that lovely term in the US of A.
Hey but these crazy ladies are going to keep me in work when I qualify
I do feel sorry for your mates though and the fact that you get all the shit for what they do or dont get up to.
On 11/26/07 at 12:11 pm
said:
This past weekend I saw women being ignorant towards their men b/c of their own insecurities. I admit to at one time being like this. Not anymore though, it’s not cool. On the flipside, men tend to leave things out when asked questions to avoid any emotional response from their other half. Call it life, call it drama, either way it is what it is. Also, no I have no point with this comment just radomness.
On 11/26/07 at 12:37 pm
said:
Some people are just straight up nutjobs, it was in the past. I’d sill like to read more about these persistent twats though.
On 11/26/07 at 12:46 pm
said:
At what point do the guys grow a pair and get rid of the psychos that are abviously too insecure to get a life, a life of their own that is. So what if their boyfriend banged half of the Northeast? It was before they were in the picture and not a heck of a lot that they can do about it. I think it is funny that they would rely on this blog as a souce of true and accurate information, but then again, maybe they know that thier signifigant other has a thing for midgets and Puerto Rican Hookers.
On 11/26/07 at 1:15 pm
said:
“Allowed to have a life”?? I freaking lock him out of the house so he can find friends. I think I’ll send him up your way just to give him a good time. Also, later for those chicks. Your friends need balls and their wives/girlfriends/taskmasters need hobbies.
On 11/26/07 at 1:21 pm
said:
Haha… what a joke. MySpace annoys me.
On 11/26/07 at 1:47 pm
said:
My boyfriend and I actually communicate. I know more about his past than I care to, but I don’t go crazy about it. He also knows about my past. The past is the past and I have faith that when he’s with me, he’s with me and only me. That’s called trust, something that’s needed to have a true relationship. Yes, in his single days he was a bit of a whore, but who can’t be accused of being a bit of a whore at times. I don’t have half as many partners as he does, but I’ve had partners and done things that I regret and so has he.
To the twats: Maybe if your man isn’t talking to you, then he probably thinks you aren’t mature enough to handle the details of his past. Grow up and maybe you can have a open and honest conversation.
Some things that I don’t want to know about my man I straight up tell him that I don’t want to hear it. That’s the mature thing to do, instead of being childish and secretive.
On 11/26/07 at 2:27 pm
said:
This is one of the reasons I like being single. I always meet the guys who are insecure, overbearing, and jealous for no reason. Wtf? Good luck with all the drama. It’s too bad you got pulled into it.
On 11/26/07 at 2:51 pm
said:
Now THAT is a special kind of bored. They must have a really sad existence. Great letter, LOL!
On 11/26/07 at 2:55 pm
said:
i love people who do this. honestly, i want to marry them and have 10,000 of their babies. i have people i don’t even speak to anymore read my blogs with changed names and then write rude blogs about them. they then mark their blogs as private ’cause they’re little bitches. i barely veil who i am speaking about so that anyone who has met them knows exactly who i am talking about, and i don’t care. i just keep the names out so people who don’t know them yet won’t pre-judge them. i’m awesome like that.
On 11/26/07 at 2:55 pm
said:
Thats completely retarded! I can’t imagine acting like that towards my boyfriend/husband. I hate women that have to go searching for things to bitch about. Lifes to freakin short!
On 11/26/07 at 3:11 pm
said:
I think you just got your friends in more trouble LOL…
if these girls are that lame they need to dig up “dirt” in your blog…I know that pissed them off…
ill see ya in hell
(how many times have i had to say :see you in hell: to you? )
hhahahaha
On 11/26/07 at 3:22 pm
said:
bitches are stupid!
On 11/26/07 at 4:35 pm
said:
got 99 problems but a bitch ain’t one…?
On 11/26/07 at 4:47 pm
said:
Kevin,
That was brilliant!! I love it! Girls (and I’m one of ‘em) and their DAMN DRAMA. Enough already!
You def did the right thing by addressing it. Like you said, GET A LIFE!
Carry on.
On 11/26/07 at 4:58 pm
said:
okay so i think you should make up some stories and say my friend so and so did this and just go on and on every so often so they cant tell which are real or which are fake. i also vote turn the table and write about the hootchies that have boots up their asses.
On 11/26/07 at 5:59 pm
said:
1) Does Andrea Brown have that Herpes you’ve been coveting?
2) Why change Angela’s name if you’ve outted her anyway as the ungrateful chick with the baby gift?
3) I get both sides, unfortunately.My guy had a very colorful past, and some of it has been in a (shitty) novel… Curious (and “hurt”)is one thing though; Psycho is something totally different. However, you are a writer- WRITE. Fuck’em. Do you think Shakespeare had a bunch of twats miling around going “Me thinks Mercutio got too close to the faire maiden that fortnight” “MY Mercutio?”
Fuck ‘em. You’re here to entertain ME, remember?
On 11/26/07 at 6:46 pm
said:
In my opinion, you’re being nicer to these wretched bitches than they deserve.
I am a huge advocate of encouraging “signifigant others” to have a life beyond their mates. There is absolutely no reason that each person should lose all sense of their oneness and become one gia-normous relationshipzilla. It’s stupid. Fuck them. They suck at life.
On 11/26/07 at 7:12 pm
said:
Digging through a boyfriend’s past is the sign of a seriously mentally unstable childish girl.
Why are you with him? Who cares about the past?
Relationships should be made on the present and judged by what comes to pass. –not what has already passed.
A life outside the relationship? can they? They should. They ought to. In fact, I’d say its a must…
Otherwise you become this sickening codependant source of grief and drama.
Sorry your friends are dating twats.
On 11/26/07 at 8:25 pm
said:
psycho’s
On 11/26/07 at 9:50 pm
said:
I would HOPE the person I’m with has somewhat of a past, otherwise he would be boring. I also think it’s really important to have a life, and friendships, that go beyong the cocoon you’re in.
Argh. Relationships. Bleh.
Women can be soo unaccepting sometimes.
On 11/26/07 at 10:27 pm
said:
Lmao. Well put. Glad I’m not on the receiving end of that unloading.
I used to do that sort of thing in high school. Then, not surprisingly, I effectively ruined all of my relationships.
Now I’m not consumed with knowing everything about my boyfriend. Intimacy unfolds naturally. And somethings (namely photos of said boyfriend drunk and in the lap a a stripper) are best left buried in drawers and closets.
And in regards to living separate lives, I certainly agree. A significant other is like the center of a bicycle wheel. All of the spokes lead to other areas, but they always unite in the middle. If that even makes sense.
Anyways, good blog.
On 11/27/07 at 11:16 am
said:
My husband and have a LOT of separate interets.
I even go out without him. (let me re-iterate. I like to sing karaoke. he hates karaoke. i invite him. he’d rather sit home and watch CSI.)
I don’t hold his past life against him, and i hope to GOD he never holds mine against me.
however.
there is something to be said about finding out if your man is truthful or not. maybe the guy has pulled out an “well, *I* never did *blank*”. and then they read in a story that yes, they DID do blank, and with 2 different blank whores.
maybe these girls are concerned about history repeating itself? i know if i found out my guy used to cheat non-stop on other girlfriends, etc. i’d be concerned.
or maybe they are miserable and are looking for any way out of their relationships they can find….
either way.
great fucking letter.
perfect.