Finally, Something Constructive to do with My Feces

Here’s a story to warm your little hearts: there’s a new drug on the street called Jenkem.  Guess what it’s made from folks?  Feces and urine!!!  Here, check out a recent press release from the Collier County Sheriff’s Office:

Can you imagine the lengths of human depravity, that we are so desperate for a quick high that we will SNORT OUR OWN FECES AND URINE????  My two favorite things about Jenkem?

- The big shocker that your mouth tastes like sewage for several days after you huff it.  How can this surprise these kids?  Did they think it would taste like Grey Poupon?  Steak Tartar?  You just snorted shit my friend.

- The snappy slang terms.  Butthash is my favorite, but why did they even bother putting “shit” under slang terms?  Last I checked, that is literally what the drug consists of.

Lastly, I wonder what the street value of a balloon’s worth of Jenkem is?  $10 maybe?  Do you think I can pay in feces?