This morning I was on my way to work, the first snowfall of the season is on its way and everything seemed so mundane and boring as displayed by the look on my face:
But then I remembered that I am going to Vegas in a few hours. And my look instantly changed.
Yes, I was and am excited… when I am excited I turn into a black businessman, just for future reference. Also I am excited because I get to play all my favorite people watching games while in Vegas.
I am going for Blog World Expo where I get to learn some new techniques in the new media world for work and of course see how I am not as big of a geek as some professional bloggers. The conference just happens to be in Las Vegas and since I am a gambling man I just wanted to set some odds at potential events:
(Remember, my last trip to Vegas was highlighted with me drinking from noon until after a Black Crowes concert. Then losing $1000 playing black jack and attempting to grab the ass of a cocktail waitress at the Hard Rock Casino but missing because I was too drunk. The time before that I was almost pick pocketed by a hooker and didn’t even realize she was a hooker.)
Bet 1: I get drunk and end up meeting a girl, we go back to my hotel room and she then advises me that she “gets $50 to make me holla, she gets paid to do the wild thing”.
Odds: Zero… nobody references Tone Loc anymore.
Bet 2: I win a couple hundred thousand dollars at blackjack and return to work where I walk in and shit on the floor announcing that I quit.
Odds: Zero… I can’t shit on command.
Bet 3: I get drunk and play black jack repeadilty saying, “Vegas Baby, Vegas!” and “We’re going to be up five hundy by midnight” then get knocked out for annoying the piss out of everyone at the table.
Odds: Even
Bet 4: I get drunk, slipped a roofie, and end up laying in a bathtub with a kidney cut out somewhere outside Hendereson.
Odds: 5:1… I think this is long overdue.
Bet 5: Something that involves a strip club, a dancer named Diamond, and me wondering the next day how I spent $500 the night before.
Odds: Even…
Bet 6: I go to the conference, attend every class, and am in bed by 8pm every night.
Odds: 1,000,000,000,000 to 1
Would you like to make any predictions?
*If you want to meet up in Vegas.* Also I know I have some people that read me out in Vegas, I am planning on doing something Thursday night if you want to go out and get a drink. Shoot me an e-mail on my contact form or on MySpace and I will get back to you with details tonight or tomorrow.
*A programming note.* I have a few guest bloggers posting this week, they will be under the guest blogging tab on the main page. I may or may not post depending on what is going on while I am there. Also there may be a major announcement made while I am there or immediately when I get back, so um… stay tuned or something.
I write about the stuff we all think but don't like to talk about.
Aw! I want to go to Vegas!! I’m thinking of heading out there in early December. Have fun and try not to get Herpes!
Kev you are soo money. Make sure to order a single malt scotch
if you do get an order of herpees while in vegas…can u bring some back 4 the rest of us?
$500 at a strip joint! Are you crazy. Oh wait a minute, that sounds like my first two hours at Seductions. Man those Russian girls are expensive. (And yes I paid in full.) Have a blast.
Have fun and stay away from chicks with big hands and bad weaves
Bet 7: After meeting up with some of your readers who insist on buying your drinks all night, you end up waking the next morning in the MGM underground parking lot wearing nothing but a feather boa and a bleeding anus.
Odds: 3:1 …. Your mouth may be saying no no no but your soul is saying yes yes yes.
Have a safe trip and have fun!
Wait…….nobody references Tone Loc anymore? When did this happen?
Remember to double down and split aces. Also if you do win some money and end up at a strip club try to do your best Pacman Jones impersonation and make it rain in the club.
What about the prediction where you meet up with Joe Pesci and Robert DeNiro and start your own casino, getting rich in the process but also killing Joe Pesci for sleeping with your wife, Sharon Stone? I think it’s the most logical answer…except maybe the part about Sharon Stone. I’m not sure anyone would want to marry her now.
Hans says he’ll be in Vegas, hehe.
Sorry buddy, couldn’t help myself ;op
Way to keep us hangin’…. big announcement, huh? I’m intrigued. Hint, please. kthxbye!
my prediction, you get get drunk and try making out with the old time slot machine at Frontier. If you want to know what I’m talking about see my myspace page pics. haha, yeah, that slot machine looks like an old prospector from the Gold Rush times.
A friend of mine lives down in Vegas… she’s not easy or I’d give you her number. But have fun, and remember, cheap booze and cheap women are always roaming Fremont Street.
Go to the reputable brothels… you don’t want to end up with crotch critters.
Haha… thats hilarious. You turn into a black businessman. Haha!
Sounds like a load of fun!!!! Never been to Vegas but anyways can’t beat the free drinks at the casino. I am not a gambling person myself but can be a lush at times.
erm well that is before I got knocked up. Have fun and blog all about it!
Vegas is fun, Vegas has everything…. the strippers, drinking, gambling, me…. lol Have fun!!
My bet is that you go gambling and do alright. So you go to the bar to celebrate your $200.00 win where a hot woman hits on you hard core. You can’t even believe your luck. So you attempt to score on the deal. You dance with her in dirty kind of ways. Take her back to your room. Your’re so excited. Then she turns out to be the hottest tranny you’ve ever seen. However, you justify in your mind a blow job. The next morning, you wake-up feeling pretty dirty and vow to keep it all secret.
Who’s the big winner tonight? Kevin!
So money.
*sob* i was s’posed to go to vegas for my 18th birthday next week, but mommy took away the credit card. *sob*
Have a good time in Las Vegas! WOOOOOT PARTY TIME.
Enjoy Vegas buddy. Don’t get crabs. Rickey recently returned from Vegas. His story can be found hither:
http://ridingwithricky.blogspot.com/2007/10/rickeys-vegas-odyssey.html
I can’t believe you’re in Vegas like, 2 minutes after I get back. Fuck you in the ear.
Yea, I’m not pleased about the Tone Loc news, either. Next thing I know, you’re gonna tell me that Biz Markie references are out of style, too. Don’t go there. Please.
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Ok, first of all, as i was reading your post and you were talking about the “star” at the table near yours, the first thing I thought was, “i bet it was Selena!” so that just shows that we are both either hysterical or sick. I’m going with hysterical.
secondly, midgets rock my world. i’ve done posts on midget porn and albino midgets because, well let’s face it, midgets make the world go round. i think that should be a bumper sticker!
what is it about midgets that makes us so happy? Selena.. now that made me laugh. sic
Geez - A Black Businessman???? RMAOL - I’m going to wake up some people around here.