Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places: A Social Experiment
In September 2006 I was debating about doing a series on dating and was throwing around ideas, one was to put up a fake profile on match.com that was really outlandish to see if girls would still be interested. What ended up happening was my convict love series which was kicked off with my The Bachelorette: Prison Style blog, for those of you who don’t remember or weren’t reading me then that series ended up with the most ridiculous amount of hate mail ever. Including my favorite quote ever written about me:
“I hope she cuts him up and send me one of his typing fingers so I can post a blog in his name entitled ‘I’m a queer… and that’s why i’m quitting the internet’”
Almost a whole entire year after that was written I still have all my fingers and I am also now single. So I figured it was time to revisit the whole idea of dating and the internet, because my palms were getting hairy from calling eroticphonegirls.com (although the upside of calling there is I can have a different girlfriend every time). When I started to think about this whole thing I didn’t want to do another joke series or create a fake profile, I wanted to legitimately date from this and do a comparison between:
- women I meet in real life
- putting up or responding to a post on craigslist.com
- using a dating site like match.com
- using a hardcore adult personal site like adultfriendfinder.com
Well I have done just that over the last two months and I have kind of kept a diary that I am going to turn into a blog series throughout the next week. Oh and this series is going to be a beauty it involves: cripples, large black girls that may or may not have been men, crazy bartenders, the police, girls taking pole dancing classes, and some normal people.
Before I start looking into this though I need to do a little self evaluation. Why is a semi handsome and huge cocked son of a bitch like me single?
For this I have decided to go down the whole “Scott Baio is 45 and Single” route, I reached out to a few ex-girlfriends and sent them a questionnaire about me. The initial reaction didn’t go over the way I wanted it to:
Response 1: You have got to be fucking kidding me. The last thing on the face of the earth I want to do is talk about you.
My Reaction: This was a great one to get right out of the box, it not only made me question this whole idea but my station in life. I considered becoming a monk after reading that.
Response 2: I totally miss talking to you and I am so happy that you are still thinking about me.
My Reaction: Why did I message a girl that told me on our second date that I was the type of guy should could spend the rest of her life with?
Response 3: …..
My Reaction: I have been checking the local papers to see if anyone was rushed to the emergency room after sticking a pencil through their eye. Nothing as of yet.
Then finally I got someone that agreed to do it:
Response 4:
sure, sounds like a good time.
My Reaction: It figures, the girl I was probably the biggest asshole to but yet oddly enough have remained friends with wants in on this. To say I expected her answers to not be positive was an understatement.
So for tomorrow: 5 questions with an ex-girlfriend
Is this going to be mildly interesting or the single dumbest idea ever?
(Note: There are some ground rules to this series, I am not going to be using any real names or pictures. Also as a baseline if I have posted profiles on any site I have put down the same information which is pretty much the same info on my MySpace page or my about me page on this blog. Also, I know a few of the girls that will be mentioned read my blog now after googling me or me telling them about it, so I expect to get a few death threats or nasty comments, it should be fun… ugh.)
As always this is being co-posted on humor-blogs.com
i love that you jump head first into situations that most of us try to avoid like the plague…. and do it all for our reading pleasure! it’s like you bring the train wreck directly to us! thank you!
I feel like it is my job… or maybe I just have issues
I found the Scott Baio show oddly compelling, so I look forward to your series of q&a. I must be some sort of relationship voyeur.
A relationship peeping Tom if you will
Staying VERY tuned in…. this ought to be really interesting Kevin.
Interesting and train wrecks go in the same category
so you’re actually going through with this … and in Buffalo? lol this should be interesting…
Oh yeah… I am just asking for trouble
i bet all the girls u dated are going to be lining up for this, kevin! it will certainly give all those other poor chaps some ground rules of what not to do…. it should be very entertaining for us all.
Oh I am sure I will be an example on what not to do
oh you’re a funny guy, why don’t you have a girlfriend? i’m legal in a week. pick me. lol
This is gonna be good! I can not wait to read more.
Good is a relative term
you’re probably want to walk around with a cup on for a while. you never know when one of your exes is gonna pop up and kick your nuts about this.
i’m looking forward from this. this is going to be fun.
Yeah it might be in my best interest
Huge? Huge? Got that. What else did you say? Okay, I’ll go back and read the rest.
Okay it is a total lie
I’l tunz n 2MoRoWm shd b intrestin!!
Or tragic
Ooooh, I’ve very excited about this. The Prison letter blogs were good times.
*sniffle* at least someone remembers them
Should be interesting.
Oh….
and….
“cripples, large black girls that may or may not have been men, crazy bartenders, the police, girls taking pole dancing classes, and some normal people.”
I always thought all of the above were normal myself.
They actually might be the new norm.
I think you’d probably have a better rated show than your hero Scott Baio if you filmed it. Or make it a YouTube series, I bet it would get a lot of traffic, people love watching dating trainwrecks. Okay, in something totally unrelated I am not one to pimp things at all, but if you like cage fights you have to check out this video, (I am only pimping this because it is my little brother and he wins) it’s only 2 minutes, but it’s a great 2 minutes. Here’s the link if you are interested: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tofD7tkjtEU
You can pimp it, I am going to go watch it now
Thanks. =)
I look forward to this. I love a good train wreck.
My pain will be your pleasure
This is gonna be GOOD! You must be a glutton for punishment. I shall stay tuned for my reading pleasure.
Yeah it honestly is going to be good
You REALLY don’t like life do you.
Who’s leg will I hump after they murder you? Common, don’t be so selfish here. Who will I insult?
I’m looking forward to the Q&A with the ex though. Heh.
Well most of this kind of has been done and I have been putting it together… It is just… I can’t even explain it.
Haha, I started reading you a couple months ago and it’s nice that any time I need a good laugh I know just the place to go! I’m so looking forward to reading this!
On a side note I’m also looking forward to reading your book which I asked my fiance for for Christmas!
Aw nice… it is the gift that keeps on giving. Kind of like herpes
You know that I have tried almost every online (and not) dating site on the planet. The Cliff Notes are in my blogs on dating.
Here’s some you may not have thought of:
* Craigslist. Make sure you post a picture, but not of yourself of course.
* MillionaireMatch.com. If you’re doing a social experiment you might as well go all out!
* SugarDaddyForMe.com
Good luck!
Damn you are already trying to put me into a different tax bracket.
Most of the guys on those sites are posers anyway. You’d fit right in. :^)
Although this would never stop me from marrying a guy I care about maybe the reason for your overwhelming singleness has something to do with….
Crooked-”finger”–crooked-”something else”–Arrrrhhhh. lol
That girlfriend who did that to you, she should be on the list of women you talk to about this.
Actually that is a bonus
High Fidelity reality style…I like it. You need some top 5 lists, though.
This sounds interesting! Then again, I like some of the reality TV shows and this is like reality TV only in text form.
Oh, and I saw your commercial during the Sabres game on Saturday when I was out to eat. =P
I was really drunk. Please don’t mention that you know me. *ahem*
I am not going to talk about that time with the nipple clamps… you have nothing to worry about.
oh man, i remember the prison correspondence. this should be golden.
Oh i am looking forward to this
Very much looking forward to it…. !
Such a brave soul!!! lol
I can’t wait to read this-it ought to be fun!!
Sounds interesting… I’d make sure your fully insured first.
[...] is part of my looking for love in all the wrong places [...]
I’m gradually auctioning off all of MY ex-lovers. You should do the same.
http://onemillionkissesforcharly.blogspot.com/2007/10/solicity-sock-monkey-presents-her-new.html
~Signed: Solicity Sock Monkey
Don’t let any future love interests read your blogs!
[...] February 27, 2008 Been sick now for a 5 days. Tough now since the weather is nice but there isn’t an ounce of energy in these muscles to pedal. My bicycles are angry with me today and are looking for love in all the wrong places. [...]