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Everyone has a price

By: Bobby Finstock on 10/17/07 @ 5:41 am

I was send a link in my e-mail the other day from a friend that has a pretty harmless title. When I clicked on the link I was greeted to a video of two girls making out. My eyes lit up, a smile came across my face, and I was waiting for the next logical step to happen… naughty naked time.

The video then cut to them being naked and one girl holding up a giant sized plastic cup to the other girl’s ass, where she promptly took a massive shit in it. I was completely horrified, yet I still wanted to know what was going to happen next. Call it a sick curiosity or boredom, but I was compelled to watch. I kind of felt like how I do watching Prison Break, you know it is shit but yet you are curious to see what happens next. That was until they next shot where they were both sitting at a table licking the crap in the cup together like it was an ice cream cone. At that point I promptly shut off the video and bathed myself in Ajax.

iced coffee

While watching the video I was talking to a female friend on IM who said she wanted to watch the video. Apparently she made it through the video a little longer than I did and proclaimed that there wasn’t enough money in the world to make her do anything that transpired in that video. I think that is total bullshit. Everyone has a price and it is easy to say you would never do something for any amount of money because there is no briefcase full of cash in front of you.

This led to a discussion about how much it would take you to do something like that. First we broke it down to two categories:

1) Off Video
2) On Video

With me being the honest guy I am, I decided I would lick a shit Sunday in private for around $300,000. I figured in the possible sickness factor and the possible hospital bills. Speaking of that, I think the ER visit is actually an added bonus:

Nurse: What have you ingested?
My own shit.
Nurse: Um, why?
(stands up out of wheelchair and makes it rain on the nurse) I got 300,000 reasons why.

As far as the video taped version, we had a heated debate. I said just because something was video taped doesn’t mean that your friends or family would see it. She said that all it would take is one and the horror of having to explain that to a friend would be too much, she set her price at a ridiculous number like three billion dollars. Essentially she would kill someone for less money, which I don’t know if I agree with.

While I agree that having to explain it would be rather embarrassing, I think the larger problem would be the possibility of being known as the guy that eats his own crap. Because once you get called that you really can’t turn back, then you have to deal with the possibility of being interviewed or being talked about. Is that really the way you want to be remembered? The amount you get paid would have to be enough to make this whole thing worthwhile. That is why I am setting the number at like five million.

Of course the girls involved in the video probably made like two thousand dollars each, so all you people into skat or whatever the shit fetish is called don’t have to worry about the prices of your videos sky rocketing do to my unreasonable contract demands.

So this begs the question, what are your two prices, one for in private and one for on video?

Filed in: My Life

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

38 Responses to “Everyone has a price”

  1. says:


  2. says:

    Crap. I was looking for regular porn the first time I stumbled into scat, so I saw a video. It has haunted me since.

  3. says:

    Even if I could possibly stop gagging over here for two seconds and concentrate long enough to figure out what my two prices would be, I don’t think I would ever get the money. I would set say my first price at $1 mil. \par
    CoughOnly$300,000MakesYouAShitWhoreCough. But if I attempted to do it I probably wouldnt be able to. I would vomit so fast just from the thought of it as it got closer to my mouth, I would never be paid. So then I would be left sitting there with a horrific smell and experience left in my noggin for life. Why must people take anal to a wrong level?

  4. says:

    It did my heart good to hear that you had the decency to turn it off. While I wouldn’t have a problem shitting in a cup (hell, truth be told, I’d pee practically anywhere…I’m a guy, that’s my job) but to eat feces…there’d have to be a gun pointed at me to even consider it.\par
    I’m thinking through the wonders of modern technology maybe the contents of the cup were in fact switched out and they were eating pudding…yeah, choclate pudding while some sick fuck somewhere was getting off at the thought of it actually being shit. That’s the only way I can wrap my brain around it. If that weren’t the case, could you imagine being one of those woman’s boyfriend and her coming home to you and offerring you a french kiss after that???

  5. says:

    You couldn’t get me to likc shit in private or on video, ever. Although I suppose if one were threatening to kill my child I might be persuaded…. no….. kill the kid, she’s insured.

  6. says:

    Assuming I’d be able to do it without throwing up or bawling my eyes out at the poor life decisions that led me down this path, my price range would probably be:\par
    Off-Camera – $100,000 for a mere lick, $250,000 to actually digest some of it. Tax-free and in cash. Who wouldn’t take a bite of poop in exchange for a new house? Don’t lie.\par
    On-Camera – $500,000 for a mere lick, $1,000,000 for a bite. Also, the tape must specifiy that it’s being done under the rules of a monetary dare, and nothing sexual or perverse. I have standards, you know.\par
    Kevin, this remind me of a TV show I think we should produce. It’ll be called “How Low Can You Go?” Contestants will be given a disgusting or morally wrong task (push an old woman down the stairs, for example), and they will take turns lowballing each other until we determine the lowest possible price someone will do it for. \par
    It’s a good social experiment, and good TV. FOX will jump at it in a second.

  7. says:

    I am sorry, not everything has a price. I am pretty much a slave to a dollar and have long sold my soul in order to make money. having said all that there are some thinsg I would not ever do.

  8. says:

    A price to eat shit? Is there some leftover corn in it still?

  9. says:

    After a healthy couple bowls of Raisin Bran and four cups of coffee, I know they could pay me a couple grand to get rid of it and I’d figure I’m ahead of the game. I just don’t think I could be the receiver on that play.

  10. says:

    You are just the tight end?

  11. says:

    I think I just threw up in my mouth a little. You actually watched that crap? (no pun intended)\par
    Hell no. Not in even for a pretty decent sum. My pride and dignity means more to me than licking a snow cone of shit.

  12. says:

    Um… I study biology… there is no way in hell I would ever eat shit. Do you know what that might do to you? Ugh.

  13. says:

    i’d go with 500,000 off camera and 10mill on.\par
    its kind of the same debate of “would you suck another guy off for 30 mill?”\par
    yes, yes i would. the thought repulses me, but as you said, everyone has a price.\par
    and will admit right now, that when everyone i know chastizes me for having done it, i’ll be all smiles(albeit a moneyshot smile)with my 30 mill.\par
    the really interesting question would be “if the barter system was still in place, what would you do it for?”

  14. says:

    Just got back from the bathroom.\par
    Remember all those numbers I threw around earlier?\par
    Double them, please.

  15. says:

    i would never ingest shit. seriously, there are a great deal of things i would do if it came down to me being wealthy because of it, but this isn’t one of them.

  16. says:

    i sure hope they made more than $2000 each. people can make that much for normal, enjoyable sex. then again, it may have been enjoyable to them. imagine coming across one of those girls if they went out to a club or something after the shoot, and making out with her. lol ewww.

  17. says:

    I got an idea on how to do this. Get some hot sauce that is off the charters hot. You know that crap that they make you sign a waiver for. Then totally lather the little turd burger. You will not smell a thing or taste a thing. Your mouth and the rest of you digestive track will be on fire. It will take your mind off the fact that you eating your own crap. Plus when people ask you how you just came across your small fortune, (1 million sounds like a good number)you can say you had bet on eating the worlds hottest hot sauce. No need to explain the fact that it was covering your own butt mud!\par
    Of late my “track has been a little whack”, so I’d have to use a straw.

  18. says:

    I would lick newborn, breastfeeding baby poop for $1000.\par
    My kid sprayed me in the face once, and it wasn’t that gross.\par
    I guess we do all have a price.\par
    And I need some car work done.

  19. says:

    Hahah, I was at a meeting and I read about shitting in the cup and I bursted out laughing… people stared at me… haha :) .

  20. says:

    I already heard about this on a podcast I listen to. It’s still disgusting and I wouldn’t even try to do it.

  21. says:

    URGH! Yeah…How bout no. There is no way in hell I would ever eat poop! EVER.\par
    Man, one girl was eating her own feces, right. But the other girl was eating someone else’s feces! GROOOOSS!

  22. says:

    Privately, I would do it for $2 million, and on video I would do it for $10 million. If you’re going to do it on video, you have to make sure that you can buy hookers to fulfill your sexual desires for a while, as if once it gets out, if it gets out, you’re not going to have voluntary free sex for a looooooong time, if at all. Please feel free to email me the video to see this shitfest and for me to better gauge these numbers.

  23. says:

    I think, for free, you are now known as the guy who would lick shit for $300K.

  24. says:

    I just want you to know… since I read this, every time I have a free space in my thoughts, this is what pops up, a chick taking a shit in a plastic cup while making out with another chick. I then have to force myself to think of something else before my visions forward to them eating the shit like an ice cream cone…. \par

  25. says:

    Hmm I dont think I have a monetary price that I would be comfortable with doing either on or off camera.. that said some”friends” sent me a video clip of girls graduating from a scat school(porn school to learn to love scat). It made me doubt the sanity of my “friends” as it included golden showers, a girl being held over another for a chilli rainbow and one tough little cookie who upon throwing up(possibly failing) scooped it up with her arms to smear the mess down her face and body(passing with honours). The final touch was them all showering together and when one went to blow a kiss she still had “honey log” on her fingers which disconcerted her a little.

  26. says:

    well it gets even grosser than that.\par
    if this is the famed video “2 girls one cup” (for those truly interested) then I read somewhere that after they eat the shit they start vomiting and then they eat that too.\par
    you can live vicariously through other horrified watchers on Youtube. this guy brings unsuspecting people into his dorm room, and shows it to people.\par
    even the big tough guys are horrified.

  27. kate says:

    in private? Thirty million. On video? One billion.
    Now you might think that is over priced but it would take a lot for me to do that. First i’d have to cease vomitting, then dry heaving and convulsing, then eat about 20mg of xanax, and then go to the hospital for i’d imagine it would make one quite ill. uuuggggggggghhhhhhh. ew. I’m sick from imagining it, but if I could get past all that “crap” 30 million would make life pfs: pretty fuckn sweet.

  28. says:

    I think I am going to get a shit whore t-shirt

  29. says:

    You are so full of shit

  30. says:

    You are a big fan, don’t lie

  31. says:

    It did look like custard

  32. says:

    Stop it…like you don’t already have one!

  33. says:

    I hear you can get them on long island really cheap

  34. says:

    But eating shit is not one of them.

  35. says:

    only if you are lucky

  36. says:

    Can I sign up as the executive producer? \par
    You can host… I think we have some big potential here.

  37. says:

    LoL Asshole :)

  38. says:

    No shit, shithead.

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