I was send a link in my e-mail the other day from a friend that has a pretty harmless title. When I clicked on the link I was greeted to a video of two girls making out. My eyes lit up, a smile came across my face, and I was waiting for the next logical step to happen… naughty naked time.
The video then cut to them being naked and one girl holding up a giant sized plastic cup to the other girl’s ass, where she promptly took a massive shit in it. I was completely horrified, yet I still wanted to know what was going to happen next. Call it a sick curiosity or boredom, but I was compelled to watch. I kind of felt like how I do watching Prison Break, you know it is shit but yet you are curious to see what happens next. That was until they next shot where they were both sitting at a table licking the crap in the cup together like it was an ice cream cone. At that point I promptly shut off the video and bathed myself in Ajax.
While watching the video I was talking to a female friend on IM who said she wanted to watch the video. Apparently she made it through the video a little longer than I did and proclaimed that there wasn’t enough money in the world to make her do anything that transpired in that video. I think that is total bullshit. Everyone has a price and it is easy to say you would never do something for any amount of money because there is no briefcase full of cash in front of you.
This led to a discussion about how much it would take you to do something like that. First we broke it down to two categories:
1) Off Video
2) On Video
With me being the honest guy I am, I decided I would lick a shit Sunday in private for around $300,000. I figured in the possible sickness factor and the possible hospital bills. Speaking of that, I think the ER visit is actually an added bonus:
Nurse: What have you ingested?
Me: My own shit.
Nurse: Um, why?
Me: (stands up out of wheelchair and makes it rain on the nurse) I got 300,000 reasons why.
As far as the video taped version, we had a heated debate. I said just because something was video taped doesn’t mean that your friends or family would see it. She said that all it would take is one and the horror of having to explain that to a friend would be too much, she set her price at a ridiculous number like three billion dollars. Essentially she would kill someone for less money, which I don’t know if I agree with.
While I agree that having to explain it would be rather embarrassing, I think the larger problem would be the possibility of being known as the guy that eats his own crap. Because once you get called that you really can’t turn back, then you have to deal with the possibility of being interviewed or being talked about. Is that really the way you want to be remembered? The amount you get paid would have to be enough to make this whole thing worthwhile. That is why I am setting the number at like five million.
Of course the girls involved in the video probably made like two thousand dollars each, so all you people into skat or whatever the shit fetish is called don’t have to worry about the prices of your videos sky rocketing do to my unreasonable contract demands.
So this begs the question, what are your two prices, one for in private and one for on video?