Would I Have Sex With Julianne Moore?
I have answered the hard hitting questions that you have been wondering like would I have sex with Sarah Mclachlan and would I have sex with a post gastric bypass surgery Star Jones. Now I move onto the third most frequently asked question I get, would I have sex with Julianne Moore.
On first glance it looks like a home run, a no doubter, a dumb question…
But I would have a hard time sleeping with her for the following reasons:
She replaced Jodie Foster in the Silence of the Lambs series- I can’t give love to someone that replaces a character in a series, in fact it makes me dislike the actor. Like when they replaced the one smart mouth daughter on Roseanne for a whiny Sarah Chalke it really annoyed me and I stopped watching the show. (It had nothing to do with the fact that it got so annoyingly preachy and unrealistic, I still would lay the wood to Jackie though.) In fact I still have trouble giving any love to Bewitched because of the whole “two Darren” thing. And don’t get me started about the mom getting swapped out on the Fresh Prince.
The whole scene with Roller Girl in Boogie Nights- When she is all messed up and talking to Roller Girl about being her mommy. That image would be replaying in my head over and over grossing me out. Although she could totally rebound by sitting behind a desk and asking me what my qualifications were. Just like she did in Dirk Diggler’s first scene, wait but then I would be thinking about Marky Mark’s huge ass prosthetic cock.
I would have to deal with my friend asking, “Does she have a fire crotch?”- That question would get so old, really I can’t deal with that everyday. Of course I could totally pull a Brandon Davis and do a firecrotch rant:
[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wHz6AwO359k[/video]
In closing, I think I am going to have to pass on Julianne Moore.
What is your verdict?
this is being co-posted on humor-blogs.com
YAY! FIRST COMMENT!
FIRE CROTCH. FIRE CROTCH, FIRE, FIRE CROTCH!!!
You said sleep with her…not marry her. I’d do her if it was a do her and walk away thingy…hell, WHY not.\par
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As to some of your TV “cultural references”, me thinks that you watch(ed) waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much television.
I look at that picture and see three things:\par
1. TiTs\par
2. EyEs\par
3. mOUth\par
Conlussion: Lets get on the ball(s), JuliAnne!
I do her..\par
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urgh that video is absolutely horrible. Where do you find this crap?
[...] Find the link to this great post here [...]
I think you are making a mistake. You said sleep with, not date, marry or go “steady with”. I would hit it in a heartbeat. Long term – eh not so sure.
[...] steph wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerptI have answered the hard hitting questions that you have been wondering like would I have sex with Sarah Mclachlan and would I have sex with a post gastric bypass surgery Star Jones. Now I move onto the third most frequently asked … [...]
And here I thought this blog was going to be one word.
I agree with you. You forgot to mention her unsexy performance as Maude in The Big Lebowski. She was annoying as hell in that flick.
You’re a tard. She’s gorgeous. I’d hit it in a second.
if i had a cock i would do her.
Sure. \par
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“My art has been commended as being strongly vaginal which bothers some men. The word itself makes some men uncomfortable. Vagina.” \par
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“Oh yeah?”\par
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“Yes, they don’t like hearing it and find it difficult to say whereas without batting an eye a man will refer to his dick or his rod or his Johnson.”\par
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Annoying? She was playing a pretentious, artsy bitch. I think she was spot-on.
I agree wth the other girls- I’d do Julianne if I had a cock, too. ( Well, maybe…) But Jackie on Rosanne? You’re kidding, right? You gotta be- I’m a little worried about you, in fact.
Of course I would nail it. And I am sure the carpet matches the drapes.
yeah. what’s with the switching??\par
it’s like when you go to see a play with a famous actor, and they pull the “the part that normally is played by Laurence Oliver will be played by Paul Ruebens tonight.” WTF??\par
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and they replaced the mom on Family Matters too.\par
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bastards.
You think to much Kev just do her.\par
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And the orginal Claire in “My Wife and Kids” was annoying, her replacement was better.
Every hole is a goal, whether it be fiery or not, I say.
I would tap it…
I think YOU should replace HER in her next movie; just to have the last laugh.\par
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Oh, and I hate those replacements too. Remember when they replaced some of the voices on later Flintstones cartoons? WTF?\par
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But I don’t like when they over promote things too. Like on Happy Days when Fonz was just a secondary part but later they had him doing ridiculous things and everyone else became the secondary player. Uggh!
I lol’d
If I had a cock n balls I’d fuck her, but if I had a cock n balls, I’d fuck everybody… and pee on stuff WHILE STANDING!
I’d hit it. \par
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Psssst…Rinni, I love your comment, but FYI…cock & balls are not requisite, IMO.
i’d rather do roller-girl Heather Graham…still have visions of her from the Lenny Kravitz “American Women” video… \par
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better glove up, though…
okay, i’m wrong (it happens).\par
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the mom left the show when it switched stations.