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Aug
28

I want to learn from my mistakes

By: Bobby Finstock on 08/28/07 @ 2:58 am

The last thing I want to do is write a blog about Mike Vick, I think at this point it has been covered by every single person out there, but um… here is my Mike Vick blog. Yesterday on my way to lunch I heard his apology and statement, there was one thing that stuck out that I wanted to talk about. He said that he wanted kids to learn from his mistakes. Mistakes? Holy shit, he called what he did a mistake? Let me take a second here and examine Mike Vick’s mistakes versus my own mess ups.

Me: Bought a t-shirt in 6th grade that had a cool Japanese fighter pilot on it but it had pink sleeves. Everyone ignored the fighter pilot but made fun of the pink sleeves.

Vick: Funded a kennel on his own property for the purpose of training dogs to fight to the death.

Thoughts: They are very comparable, I mean I almost had to fight to the death over my poor fashion choice.

Me: As an underage employee I was part of a ring to smuggle beer out of work so we could have two beers each and pretend we were drunk.

Vick: Transported said dogs across state lines to participate in dog fights.

Thoughts: Well I mean we were both smuggling something, of course I won’t be smuggling cock in my ass for the next few years because of the “mistakes” I have made.

vanilla_ice

Me: I bought the Vanilla Ice CD from an independent record store, then proceeded to get lines shaved in my head.

Vick: Executed under performing dogs in a vile and reprehensible manner.

Thoughts: Um, they are kind of the same right?

I have to say I owe Mike Vick an apology. Mike I am sorry to say what you did weren’t mistakes, when you compare what you did to the mistakes I have made in my life they are like mirror images.

Do you guys have any mistakes you want to own up to? You know like running a bus of school children off the road or urinating on your neighbors mail everyday for a week…

Filed in: My Life

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

23 Responses to “I want to learn from my mistakes”

  1. says:

    “Me: I bought the Vanilla Ice CD from an independent record store, then proceeded to get lines shaved in my head.” Not sure I would have told that one.

    Vicks only mistake was not paying his running buddies enough to take the fall for his ass. I hope thet State of Virginia does in fact go after his ass. Put this jack ass in a pit with a few of his dogs. Oh yeah put a muzzle on him and set electrodes up to his balls – you know to encourage him to fight harder.

  2. says:

    I wore neon pink spandex in the 80s.

  3. says:

    [quote comment="4835"]“Me: I bought the Vanilla Ice CD from an independent record store, then proceeded to get lines shaved in my head.” Not sure I would have told that one.

    Vicks only mistake was not paying his running buddies enough to take the fall for his ass. I hope thet State of Virginia does in fact go after his ass. Put this jack ass in a pit with a few of his dogs. Oh yeah put a muzzle on him and set electrodes up to his balls – you know to encourage him to fight harder.[/quote]

    Kudo’s to you Cigar smoking, beer drinking lawyer!!

    Kevin you know I love my Pitbulls and have very little compassion for Vick or trivializing anything he did with those dogs!! To know a Pitbull is to Love a Pitbull!!!!!!!

  4. says:

    I’m wearing neon pink spandex now.

  5. says:

    damn – it is my lucky day. Not only was i fist, but i got kudos as well! I rock

  6. says:

    I ran a brothel of midgets and whipped them if they underperformed. And then I ran an old folks home and forced them to work in a cigarette factory hand rolling cigarettes, and would throw the senior citizens down the stairs if they didn’t reach their quota of 200 rolled cigaretts per hour. My bad. That was a pretty careless mistake. Ohhhh, yeah, but my very worst mistake was throwing the baseball bat in t-ball once, I got called out. For that, I am deeply ashamed.

  7. says:

    P.S. Am I the only one who thinks Michael Vick looks like Stripe from the Gremlins?

  8. says:

    Dolphin shorts in the 80’s. Is anyone old enough to remember those things. Those and parachute pants. Damn, but they were comfortable.

  9. says:

    I slept with a woman the size of a Dodge Caravan. But I was drunk. Does that count as a mistake? If so, I apologize…to myself.

  10. says:

    I married a Village Idiot. But later gave him back when I divorced him.

  11. says:

    When I was seventeen I had a kitten I rescued from near death, nursed it to health only for it to be killed by the neighbor’s fat aggressive tom. The neighbor gave me this limp, “sorry but that’s how cats are” kind of thing while smugly petting the purring beast. I got so mad that when I was driving my truck a week later I chased it down and ran it over in the neighbor’s driveway (apparently it felt safe there and stopped fleeing, stupid really) in front of said neighbor.

    I had a lot of people give me grief over what I did but 2 pound kitten verses 20 pound tom cat wasn’t proper odds, about on par with cat verses tire.

    I spent six weeks nursing that kitten with a bottle because at five weeks he was too weak to stand let alone walk. He fit in the palm of my hand. Vinny was finally happy, healthy and normal. I never thought not to let him lay in the sun on the back porch, he never left the deck let alone the yard. It was like losing a baby.

  12. says:

    Well it depends on who you ask. My sons once said it was a mistake for me to beat their butts. So when I heard that I thought Hmm, I wonder if I’ve managed to screw them up for life? Maybe I should be behind bars? But then I asked them if it hurt, and they said “NO way mom, are you kidding? Hahahahaha.”

  13. says:

    feeding my neighbors 4 year old hormel chilli for breakfast when they left him overnight for my wife and I to babysit, instead of picking him up when they got home like they said they would.
    I think he ruined their carpets later that they…

  14. says:

    Jamie Foxx and the NAACP are almost as bad for trivializing his felonies too. He is a thug. I am sure dog fighting was the tip of the iceberg. As with any organized criminal enterprise there had to have been all sorts of other crimes committed.

    I wore purple spandex pants in 1982. I eloped with a man after not knowing him too long who turned out to be a huge letdown. Those are mistakes. What Michael Vick did was premeditated and went on for years and were SERIOUS CRIMES.

    I wonder what DMX’s excuse is going to be? He did it too. Twice.

  15. says:

    Isn’t Pink in now for guys? so the shirt should be ok now to wear if you still have/fits you :D
    Anyway i hope Mike gets it’s tight in prison with an officers nightstick to be honest.

  16. says:

    [quote comment="4838"]I’m wearing neon pink spandex now.[/quote]

    Heh too bad don’t have a pic or something of the sort to go with that haha

  17. says:

    I bought a whore and then read this blog. I know, I know…I’m on my way to confession right now.

  18. says:

    [quote comment="4836"]I wore neon pink spandex in the 80s.[/quote]

    Hell, I wore pink neon spandex – ALONG with green & pink neon striped leg-warmers, matching sweater and headband, and pink neon converse… BEAT THAT!

  19. says:

    I’ve never made a mistake, so I really don’t know what that feels like. But somehow I suspect that if I weren’t perfect, my mistakes still wouldn’t be anywhere near old Vicky-poo’s.

  20. says:

    I wore dolphin shorts in the early 80’s, and dressed in way too much lace after Madonna’s first album came out.
    I’m ashamed of myself.

    But I’m still wearing checkered Van’s slip ons, just like I did in 1979. Sad but true.

  21. says:

    i made this girl cry every day in 7th and 8th grade, sometimes on accident.

    One day i was so happy I didnt make her cry I left the library to get a drink of water and she came running out of the library past me crying into the girls bathroom.

    When I got back from the drinking fountain I was so proud of myself because I wasnt even there to do it that time but when I got back everyone gave me a look and somehow it was my fault.

    Last I heard she was sent to a boarding school in canada.

    I sort of feel bad now looking back on it.

  22. says:

    i tripped a kid on crutches.
    And i think that EVERYONE wore pink neon spandex in the 80s if you were a girl.

  23. says:

    I once threw a stale cookie out a car window. It hit a man in the back and knocked him down. That was about 20 years ago and I still feel bad about it. I never dreamed it would hit him.

    All the wine cooler bottles I ever threw at signs from moving cars never hit, not even once.

    There, that’s my nasty confession. I assaulted a man with a cookie. And never even checked to see if he was okay.

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