I was sitting and eating lunch the other day in a place that was playing a radio station that was talking about people getting engaged. They took a call from a guy that launched into a five minute story about his engagement, I will spare you the story but let me just say it involved a Beyonce song and putting a flower in the middle of roses. Now it is not that I am unromantic but hearing people’s engagement stories is one of the most annoying things ever. It is cool that people propose different ways and honestly I like to hear the story until they pass the three minute mark. Once it hits that point it is too long and probably filled with details I don’t care about.
Plus nobody does anything original anymore anyways, even if they think they are. I can get behind a walk to a romantic place and a proposal, cool. Short, sweet, romantic… great I like it. But once you start involving props and ridiculous plans you have lost my support.
Also, we never really hear really great engagement stories. Honestly the next story I hear better go like this:
So I called my girlfriend and told her to get dressed up because I was taking her out for a night on the town. When I picked her up she was all decked out, just looking amazing. She asked if we were going to the theater or a high end restaurant, I told her no, that we were going to see the opening night of the new “Rambo” movie.
While she was a little dejected she manned up and went with me. Shortly after the movie we decided to grab something to eat, I told her I knew a great place with a good buffet. We stopped at the Spearmint Rhino, my favorite strip club, and I got the all you can eat buffet for 15.95 each. I didn’t have enough cash on me so I made her pay with her credit card, hey she wanted to eat.
After dinner we stayed there and had a few drinks, while I ogled any girl that I could. I made sure that my girlfriend felt inferior for one reason or another to every single girl in there,you know so she would work out a little harder or develop an eating disorder to stay thin. As we drank more I thought a great idea would be to get a girl to come home with us, you know to round out the night. With very little support from my girlfriend I negotiated a deal to spend $500, my girlfriend’s new car payment, on a stripper to come home with us that night.
When we got home my girlfriend was a little hesitant to get into the action, in fact she started to pack her bags to head to her mother’s house. I convinced her to stay and do this for me… Soon we were all naked and I made my girlfriend move her head towards the stripper no no touchy spot. She reluctantly began to stick out her tongue when she noticed the stripper’s clit ring with an engagement ring attached to it.
I asked her to be my wife while slapping her on the ass, followed by asking her to let the stripper take her with a strap on… It was a memorable night.
Now that is a hell of a lot better story to hear than a guy with a ring in some flowers and Beyonce playing in the background.
What is the worst engagement story you have ever heard?