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Aug
22

That is a lot of room for one person

By: Bobby Finstock on 08/22/07 @ 4:16 am

The housing issue seems to be solved as I have found a kick ass apartment. Hardwood floors, nice looking, washer and dryer hookup, off street parking, good location, great price… but there is one problem it has three bedrooms.

Now let me remind you I just moved cross country for grad school with my laptop, clothes, and golf clubs. I kind of have a lot of room to fill. Conventional wisdom tells me that I should make one room an office and another room an extra bedroom. But honestly, who wants to do that?

So I decided to draft up a list of options for my room. Just so you know I am totally open to suggestions.

Sexual Dungeon- What says house warming party more than a torture rack and riding crop? I don’t know if I could pull of a sex dungeon though, I’m more of a plush room with mirrors on the ceiling type of guy.

A hydroponic farm- You know so I can grow tomatoes and sell them at “street value”.

A shrine to Bea Arthur- It won’t creep any potential girlfriends out… I am sure of it.

My time out room- A child’s chair in the middle of the room with nothing else in it… For when I have been bad.

Game room-
Twister mats on the floor, a table set up with Risk on it, and a trash bag of monopoly money to make it rain.

A reading room- Just so I can say, “I’m very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.”

The official Elizabeth Kucinich library-
I am still trying to figure out how Dennis Kucinich could have such a hot wife?

elizabeth_kucinich

A “workout” room- I want a medicine ball… sue me.

Do you have any ideas on what I should do with the room?

Filed in: My Life

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

41 Responses to “That is a lot of room for one person”

  1. says:

    A walk in humidor and/or a nice drak room to enjoy a good cigar and a few adult beverages.

    If that isnt your thing – home adult movie theater – complete with sticky floors

  2. says:

    Would the dungeon be complete with a gimp?

  3. says:

    Rent it out to another chick and get some ass. That seems to work fine for you every time, doesn’t it?

  4. says:

    Make it your time out/reading room with the small child’s chair and children’s books. The only problem would be the misconception that you’re a pedofile.

  5. says:

    A room for your collection of rare butterflies, a basket and some lotion…

  6. says:

    a game room with a sex swing

  7. says:

    yeh rent it out it sounds like a good idea not only can you make money you can also get some
    Matty knows the score
    OR you could make it one big bouncy castle

  8. says:

    Huh. My room. Duh.

  9. says:

    You know, a spare bedroom with a trapeze right over the bed could make for an interesting conversation piece.

  10. says:

    Game room . . . definitely. Chicks dig a pool table and stereo, with a microfridge in the corner. Just sayin’ Throw in a poker table, and the guys will be impressed, as well!

  11. says:

    You need a ball pit room! What could be more fun then that?

  12. says:

    [quote comment="4634"]A walk in humidor and/or a nice drak room to enjoy a good cigar and a few adult beverages.

    If that isnt your thing – home adult movie theater – complete with sticky floors[/quote]

    Will I be able to get a box of popcorn with a hole cut out in the bottom?

  13. says:

    [quote comment="4640"]Would the dungeon be complete with a gimp?[/quote]

    Touche, I could always abduct a homeless guy

  14. says:

    [quote comment="4641"]Rent it out to another chick and get some ass. That seems to work fine for you every time, doesn’t it?[/quote]

    No more female roommates… It leads to bad times

  15. says:

    [quote comment="4642"]Make it your time out/reading room with the small child’s chair and children’s books. The only problem would be the misconception that you’re a pedofile.[/quote]

    Good point, I don’t want to be Michael Jackson

  16. says:

    [quote comment="4643"]A room for your collection of rare butterflies, a basket and some lotion…[/quote]

    No sewing machine?

  17. says:

    [quote comment="4646"]a game room with a sex swing[/quote]

    I don’t want to hurt my back

  18. says:

    [quote comment="4647"]
    OR you could make it one big bouncy castle[/quote]

    I am kind of partial to that

  19. says:

    [quote comment="4648"]Huh. My room. Duh.[/quote]

    No you get the crawl space

  20. says:

    [quote comment="4649"]You know, a spare bedroom with a trapeze right over the bed could make for an interesting conversation piece.[/quote]

    I wonder if the joists could support it

  21. says:

    [quote comment="4650"]Game room . . . definitely. Chicks dig a pool table and stereo, with a microfridge in the corner. Just sayin’ Throw in a poker table, and the guys will be impressed, as well![/quote]

    I am so going to fail out of school

  22. says:

    [quote comment="4651"]You need a ball pit room! What could be more fun then that?[/quote]

    that would be fucking awesome

  23. says:

    [quote comment="4659"][quote comment="4648"]Huh. My room. Duh.[/quote]

    No you get the crawl space[/quote]

    Bastard.

  24. says:

    Shrine to Bea Arthur….definitly!

  25. says:

    An elaborate trap reminiscent of the game mouse trap with a Clifford doll near the trigger above a container of slime… with at least 6 cameras to capture the action. The trap could get progressively trickier each time with a prize worthwhile to your intended targets

  26. says:

    a room for your porn collection

  27. says:

    Try “The Blog Room.”

  28. says:

    I suggest a combination of all. You can put velcro on the back of the twister mat and it can double as a wall hanging. Plus you could use like a screen to project porn onto, and it’s moisture proof…eww. Buy a wardrobe. Then when you give people the tour, you can say, “…and this is my wardrobe.” and really, not says class like a needless piece of wood in an empty room. Oh, and you can put your body suit made of plus sized women in there too. The more you think about it, the better the idea becomes.

  29. says:

    Make it up as a guest bedroom…. then u have the perfect reason why chicks should stay the night. need i say more????

  30. says:

    [quote comment="4641"]Rent it out to another chick and get some ass. That seems to work fine for you every time, doesn’t it?[/quote]

    I second that… although I have to warn you.. it might turn into I am preggers 10 months later. So be warned.

    muah muah muah muah muah (evil laugh)

  31. says:

    You already have a reading room in the bathroom, no need for two! There is even a throne in there for the kings ass!

    I suggest you make it your sex swing room. Put some supports in the ceiling, hook that baby up, but some mirrors everywhere…now thats a room with a view!

  32. says:

    Start a Brazilian waxing bizness in the spare room, or maybe hang up a shingle as an amateur Gynecologist, furnished with just a reclining exam table with stirrups…

  33. says:

    btw, the sex swing is made for you not to hurt your back. :)
    extra fluffy pillows underneath (incase of a fall…) and a woman to do all the work is all you need.

  34. says:

    Turn it into a padded room for those times when you go a little crazy. That’ll for sure impress the ladies. :D

  35. says:

    You could do all of the above and call it the Romper Room. Or you could do like a moron (me), make awesome plans and end up using it for storage.

  36. says:

    You totally need a sex room.. one of them round beds with a bunch of pillows, a big screen TV for porn, a table with all kinds of sexual goodies on it, and a bar… when you get that set up, give me a call, ill come over and party lol

  37. says:

    oh yeah and dont forget the video cameras.. with a fun room like that you should video all of your conquests!

  38. says:

    [...] Efron That is a lot of room for one person » This Summary is from an article posted at Pointlessbanter.net on Wednesday, August 22, 2007 [...]

  39. says:

    Go flea market shopping and make it a huge room with booths and theater seats all thrown around, with a great big TV.

    And a Barbie playhouse in case you get bored.

  40. says:

    My spare room’s a junk room / study atm. But it will become a study / sitting room / guest room once I get all the junk sorted (into the built in robe).

    I’m putting a single bed in there with cushions on it so that it’s also a lounge, my old sofa bed (will get a new click-clack sofa), coffee table in the middle. My computer and desks will be the study part, and because I have a big-arse screen it will also second as another TV and jukebox. =)

  41. says:

    They have it all wrong..its the Animals Room.
    This week, Snail races, next Week Pit Bull contests, then the Ugliest Cat Trials, the Cocks Fighting & Turtles races.
    Everyone else wants you to have a Sex Room, but they keep forgetting you have 3 Bedrooms..

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