The Worst Thing That Can Happen at Another House
I was talking with my friend the other day about what would be the most embarrassing thing that could happen at another person’s house. Removing the totally odd from the equation, like having a friend walk in on you going through his girlfriend’s pantie drawer while wearing a pair on your head, we have narrowed it down to three things:
3) The Classic Misspeak: This will happen more at a co-workers or a friend of a friend’s house. You say something that you may think is funny or it could be totally innocent but it blows up in your face.
Dave: I notice you have a stool in the shower, what are you too lazy to stand in the shower? Just kidding, I love those things I wish I could buy my house from handicapped people like you did.
(Host’s wife rolls into the room in a wheelchair.)
Host: Uh, no.
2) Passing out drunk: You go to a party at a friend’s house where everyone is drinking but not over drinking, you drink so much that you pass out. This leads to multiple problems, first of all you are totally going to get talked about in a negative light for rest of the party ruining whatever reputation you have. Then you have the issue of if someone is going to take you home or if they are just going to leave you there to wake up. At least if they bring you home you wake up and are in your own bed, where you have to evaluate what happened the night before.
If they leave you there, you have the whole uncomfortable apology as you leave thing. Or even worse their kids could be sitting their poking you with a stick wondering who you are, not that has ever happened to me.
1) Clogging their toilet: I personally think this is the worst thing that can happen at someone else’s home, especially if they don’t keep their plunger in the bathroom. You get the horror of not seeing everything leave the bowl, then you have the horror of going through the bathroom and not finding the plunger, and to top it off you have the pure embarrassment of having to ask the host where they keep their plunger.
Of course you could always gamble and just not say anything and hope nobody is waiting outside the bathroom to go. But then you run the risk of the next person overflowing the toilet or someone making the discovery which leads to you worrying that someone is going to accuse you, ruining the whole party for the rest of the night.
Nate: Dude I ate so much I feel like I am going to overflow.
Me: I DIDN’T CLOG THE TOILET!!!!!
Nate: What are you talking about?
What do you think is the most embarrassing thing that can happen at someone else’s home?
The clogged crapper is the worst. Followed closely by the ever great breaking a treasured heirloom Elvis bobblehead doll.
and finally, eating dinner and gagging on the food.
[quote comment="4513"]The clogged crapper is the worst. Followed closely by the ever great breaking a treasured heirloom Elvis bobblehead doll.
and finally, eating dinner and gagging on the food.[/quote]
Ohhhh nice call on the gagging that always leads to the uncomfortable conversation if you really like the food or not
Definatly the clogged toilet thing, not that I would know as I’m a girl and don’t poop.
The passing out part I know far to well but usually my friends get me home somehow, don’t ask me how but they do. That’s how a grade my friends really, who puts me on the bus and who actually pays for a taxi?!
Kudos dude!
i totally go with the third. a friend in high school did this at a party and there was no plunger. she had me get her paper towel and she actually dug out the toilet and threw everything in the garbage. grossest story ever. i just gagged.
You could walk in on them having sex after they thought you left…not that that’s happened to me…
[quote comment="4515"]Definatly the clogged toilet thing, not that I would know as I’m a girl and don’t poop.
The passing out part I know far to well but usually my friends get me home somehow, don’t ask me how but they do. That’s how a grade my friends really, who puts me on the bus and who actually pays for a taxi?!
Kudos dude![/quote]
Wow they really love you if they are paying for the taxi
[quote comment="4516"]i totally go with the third. a friend in high school did this at a party and there was no plunger. she had me get her paper towel and she actually dug out the toilet and threw everything in the garbage. grossest story ever. i just gagged.[/quote]
Thanks… I was dying for a breakfast burrito but not so much anymore
[quote comment="4517"]You could walk in on them having sex after they thought you left…not that that’s happened to me…[/quote]
You totally joined in didn’t you?
the third is the worse. honorable mention should be the friend that is soo wasted that they cant make it to the bathroom or trashcan to throw-up and end up vomiting on the carpet or couch
Walking in on a guy who is sitting on the toilet, pants down, passed out is pretty embarrassing…well, when he wakes up says something incoherent and looks at you funny all night it is!
[quote comment="4518"]
Wow they really love you if they are paying for the taxi[/quote]
Who wouldn’t love me? I’m swedish and I drink myself unconcious so they don’t have to spend money on rohypnol to get me in bed, which is the swedish way to drink in general really.
/A
My friend Chrisena took toilet clogging to a whole new level. Not only did she clog the toilet, but she did it at the house of the guy she was dating. Which would have been embarrassing enough, but this guy happened to be the son of Stevie Wonder. And it was Stevie Wonder’s house. So poor Chrisena had to go ask for the plunger from Stevie Wonder, who teased her mercilessly for weeks about clogging the toilet. THAT sucks.
My ex-husband was always destroying the toliets at other people’s houses. It was horrible. Especially at Christmas with my entire family. Hey Buddy, try chewing your food for a change. Nice.
Once when I was at a friend’s house, and was checking my myspace. I clicked on a link and got linked to porn. That is the worst possible thing I can think of to happen at a friend’s house.
In the movie, “Trainspotting”, the guy crapped in his girlfriends bed! Now that would be pretty embarrassing!!
Oh yea and he had a tug of war with the girls mom for the sheets and the shit flew!
All this talk of toilets and parties reminds me of something my friends used to do. (Sorry if it’s mostly off of the point, but I figured this crowd would at least consider giving it a try:)
Apparently, the statistics are EXTREMELY high of someone sneaking a quick look through your medicine cabinet during a party. It’s no major offense (unless you have “crotch-critter ointment†or an over-abundance of laxatives or something) but it is still pretty tacky nonetheless.
Wanna’ know who does this sort of thing?
Empty the cabinet and fill it back up with a shitload of marbles. (This can be done by cracking the cabinet open and pouring the marbles in through a make-shift funnel.)
Fill ‘er up and await the earsplitting magic! Then, sit back and await for those nosey assholes to come back and add another “embarassing thing to hapeen in someone else’s house” to this blog!
Let’s just say one time I went to a small get together at a friend’s house. His roommate came home in the middle of the party, mumbled a greeting, then promptly went to the bathroom.
After a few minutes, the beer started to kick in, so I had to use the bathroom myself. I figured enough time had passed, so the guy has got to be out of the crapper now right?
So I went to the bathroom, and the door was ajar. Usually if the door is ajar, it’s a signal that there’s nobody in there…..
Not this time…
His roommate was on the toilet, eyes closed tightly, beating his you know what like it owed him money…
Needless to say, after I gasped in surprise, he turned beet red, rushed out of the bathroom, went into his bedroom and slammed the door.
To this day, his roommate still turns red every time he sees me.
My best friend’s hubby sharted himself while they were at my house. If he had not been completely wasted, he prolly would not have come out of the bathroom. He ended up ditching his boxers in my trashcan. ew.
An old friend of mine was so hammered at a party i threw, she took a shit in the tub, then drank more tequila and passed out…in the morning there was still quite a few people who had ended up crashing, so i called them all in first, showed them her deed, woke her up and made her clean in in front of everyone (including her date)
I love me sometimes
I would say clogging up the toilet, making a mis-construed comment about it, and then passing out on the toilet, while someone else has sex on your head.
I would have to say the most embarrassing thing is accidentally injuring their pet or child.
I was at a party once and saw my friend drop the homeowner’s dog and another friend step on it in a drunken stupor.
no one remembers who dropped the dog, but they ALL remember who stepped on it.
oh, inadvertently insulting the party thrower’s family is always embarrassing.
or…accidentally stepping in dog poo and tracking it all through their home. that would suck. thank god i have hardwood floors.
Having your dog poop or pee in someone’s house. That sucks. That happened to me on a blind date. He told me to come over his house (bad idea–he sent me a photo that hid his slight stature, balding head and the last ten years)so I would feel safe. The dog pooped. I was so upset I excused myself and said I had to take him to the vet.
I was totally unattracted to him.
so it worked for me
Once, I showed up at a friend’s house, unanounced. The following is the conversation I had with his mom at the door:
Poke: Hello, Mrs. Falsename. Is Notrealname here?
Mrs. Falsename: Actually…(shifts nervously)…maybe you should come inside.
Poke: You’re acting like he’s dead.
Mrs. Falsename: He was in an accident.
Poke: Oh, well. I’m so sorry. Look, I just came to pick up my car. I don’t want to burden you.
Mrs. Falsename: About your car…
Poke: You’re shittin’ me!
It does not get more awkward than that — imagine having to explain that your dipshit son totalled a friend’s car.
Poke
The very BEST (or worst) has got to be on Trainspotting when the dude wakes up to find he’s shit himself…
I was staying at my step-grandmother’s house, because my grandfather was dying very slowly, and the entire rest of the family was there also to support my step-grandmother. Well one night I got up to use the prehistoric bathroom, and not only did it clog, but it overflowed all over the carpetted bathroom (think Along Came Polly). There was no plunger, and I made so much noise I was surprised I didn’t wake the dead (no pun intended). I eventually cleaned it all up with numerous towels and a secret late night load of laundry, but hopefully no one will ever know what happened. Unless mold starts growing up the wall.
I think the chair in bathroom is really wickedly embarassing. Not as bad as getting pissed drunk coz these days we see all over the streets. But that wheelchair remark is sure to last a lifetime.
In college I spent the night at a friend’s house and managed a rather remarkable morning boner while still asleep. I had slept on the couch and kicked off the sheet during the night. I woke when friend’s mom tripped out of the living room screaming. It was not a coo coo kachoo, hello Mrs. Robinson moment either.
One time…and I’m 99 percent sure it was me….someone broke an heirloom Elvis-style acoustic guitar at a party I was at…
Everyone was so drunk, no one remembered me stepping on it, leaving that giant gash down the side of it, ruining it forever.
I was eventually “accused” only to DENY, DENY, DENY, until the accusations ceased and everyone got drunk again.
Ah, college.
Wait, this happened about a month ago.
Ah, ….after college….need to find a real job……ish…
I’m rambling
Good blog.
I’ve clogged the crapper…it was a girl I had JUST started seeing. She lived in another state, it was my first trip there, and I totally clogged the shitter.
She didn’t own a plunger. She lived in a small town. We had to go to three different stores before we found one that wasn’t “sold out” of plungers. Everyone in the town knew her…and it was hella embarrassing.
Was laughing all the way to the end of that post. Good one.
And fortunately for me, I haven’t had any such foot-in-my-mouth moments. Yet.
The first was a few years back when me and a few mates got caught trying one of their mums clothes on, the fact we were all passed out on the front lawn at the time was the worst part.
One morning my old roommate found my other old roommate passed out on her knees in the living room floor in front of her boyfriend… who was passed out on the couch pantsless.
It’s not exactly the topic of the blog, but thought I’d contribute anyway.