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Aug
07

Pure Genius or the Absolute Dumbest Website Ever?

By: Bobby Finstock on 08/7/07 @ 6:09 pm

Recently I was reading an article about successful blogs and websites and there was a discussion about I Can Has Cheezburger, a site that has been making money hand over fist, estimates (at the low end) are at $5,600 a month for a site that launched in January.

Now some of you might not be familiar with the site directly but there is no doubt you have seen the pictures from it. Here is a sample picture:

The concept of the site is so simple, people take a picture of their animal and then in internet speak, type a somewhat amusing message around it. Horrible grammar and disgustingly cute pets combined must equal mega bucks or something.

Now the site is an incredible time sucker, you will be on there and the next thing you know ten minutes will have gone by. The thing is I can’t decide if I secretly love this site or hate it from within the bowels of my soul.

This has now become the single biggest question in my life. Let me go over the existing questions of my life queue right now:

1) Is I Can Have Cheezeburger awesome or pure shit?
2) Kelly Ripa, hot or not?
3) How old was that lady behind me in the line at the DMV today, 18 or 40?
4) If I shut the light off and than ran into the wall as hard as I could, would everything go white instead of going black because it is already black?
5) Will I ever sleep with an Asian girl?

What is your official position on this? And do you want to take a shot in answering any of the questions I have posed?

Filed in: Pop Culture

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

37 Responses to “Pure Genius or the Absolute Dumbest Website Ever?”

  1. says:

    1) Is I Can Have Cheezeburger awesome or pure shit? Awesome pure shit!

    2) Kelly Ripa, hot or not? Not, too loud and too skinny.

    3) How old was that lady behind me in the line at the DMV today, 18 or 40? 40-18= 22

    4) If I shut the light off and than ran into the wall as hard as I could, would everything go white instead of going black because it is already black? Yes, I’ve tried it! If you think I’m lying try it yourself and get back to me!

    5) Will I ever sleep with an Asian girl? Yes, when you come over to visit me in Australia I will hook you up with heaps of them, especially ones with high pitch annoying voices, hmm that didn’t narrow it down at all really.

    5 Kudos for you!

  2. says:

    1. Pure shit, but a lot of people are into that.
    2. Not.
    3. 18, but she’s had a rough life.
    4. Not sure, try it and let me know.
    5. No, you will not. But she will. ;)

  3. says:

    two nots on Ripa thus far… surprising

  4. says:

    The animal pictures are cute but I’m kinda an animal person. Kelly Ripa is way to thin to be cute.

  5. says:

    sorry hot not cute:)

  6. says:

    1) Is I Can Have Cheezeburger awesome or pure shit?
    now i like stupid shit, but this website is not the least bit funny.

    2) Kelly Ripa, hot or not?
    she was pretty until she started getting the “i lost too much weight i’m getting wrinkles wait i’ll do botox” face.

    3) How old was that lady behind me in the line at the DMV today, 18 or 40?
    she was 23

    4) If I shut the light off and than ran into the wall as hard as I could, would everything go white instead of going black because it is already black?
    no, you will just be an idiot.

    5) Will I ever sleep with an Asian girl?
    of course you will. and no, her pussy will not be horizontal.

  7. says:

    1. it is like a train wreck, you dont want to watch but you do anyway. I will suck your soul out.
    2. NOT HOT
    3. More like 16 and a stripper at the local titty club – too much tanning bed, smoking, speed and dirty old men gropping you will aga a girl.
    4. Go for it champ. Let us know how it works out.
    5. You can do almost anything you put your mind to, but just not sure how many chances you will have in up state New York – again let us know how it turns out.

  8. says:

    1. Meow
    2. You watch Daytime TV? Ewww….
    3. 16. She lied to you about her age.
    4. Ummm…sure
    5. Have you tried? That is the question.

  9. says:

    1. It’s things like this that will ultimately be the decline of western civilization.
    2. Um, she’s alright but she’s starting to look like Jack of the Inthebox family with her big head.
    3. Early twenties but likely a meth addict.
    4. It’ll be kind of “stars” where yellow and white flashes blink across your eyes, better just take my word for that.
    5. Yes, but you might later find out that she was only 1/16 asian after all, and she’ll randomly be the type of girl who wears your favorite shirt when she leaves and never gives it back.

  10. says:

    1) Is I Can Have Cheezeburger awesome or pure shit?
    Pure shit
    2) Kelly Ripa, hot or not?
    Not
    3) How old was that lady behind me in the line at the DMV today, 18 or 40?
    She was 16, you perv
    4) If I shut the light off and than ran into the wall as hard as I could, would everything go white instead of going black because it is already black?
    I just tried it, you see all the pretty colors
    5) Will I ever sleep with an Asian girl?
    If I close my eyes real tight I look Asian…

  11. says:

    1) Is I Can Have Cheezeburger awesome or pure shit?

    I have seen them posted all over the internet they are more annoying than awesome but that is because I can’t stand bad spelling and grammar.

    2) Kelly Ripa, hot or not?

    Not so mich and she is annoying to boot, but not as annoying a Kathy Lee.

    3) How old was that lady behind me in the line at the DMV today, 18 or 40?

    She was actually 60.

    4) If I shut the light off and than ran into the wall as hard as I could, would everything go white instead of going black because it is already black?

    I smell an expreriment with a night vision camera.

    5) Will I ever sleep with an Asian girl?

    Not if you are living in Buffalo. You’ll have to trek over to Niagra Falls and try to score some asian tourist action.

  12. says:

    1) Is I Can Have Cheezeburger awesome or pure shit?
    “Computer speak” is pure shit. This website is pretty much a cute overload rip off right?
    2) Kelly Ripa, hot or not?
    Hot? Nah but she is super cute.
    3) How old was that lady behind me in the line at the DMV today, 18 or 40?
    I’m going to say 27
    4) If I shut the light off and than ran into the wall as hard as I could, would everything go white instead of going black because it is already black?
    You need a hobby.
    5) Will I ever sleep with an Asian girl?
    Do hands have ethnicities and sexes?

  13. says:

    1) Is I Can Have Cheezeburger awesome or pure shit? I love cats, so I think it’s awesome.

    2) Kelly Ripa, hot or not? She’s just a young version of Kathie Lee…but I’d bang her husband.

    3) How old was that lady behind me in the line at the DMV today, 18 or 40? She’s 18 going on 40.

    4) If I shut the light off and than ran into the wall as hard as I could, would everything go white instead of going black because it is already black? No, it would go red, because your nasal bone would go up into your brain.

    5) Will I ever sleep with an Asian girl? Will you sing bad karaoke and drink saki? If the answer is yes, then you’d do better spinning around blindfolded and going out with the girl you bump into.

  14. says:

    I iz gots no comments.

  15. says:

    1. I love I Can Has Cheezburger. I am a total grammar nazi and I don’t even like cats, but for some reason that shit cracks me up. But you’re right about it sucking away time before you even know it.

    2. Kelly Ripa is not hot. Not at all.

    3. No Idea. Probably 40 with a decent plastic surgeon. Oh, wait, you moved back to Buffalo. So probably an 18 year old who smokes too much.

    4. If it was dark I’d try it.

    5. We talked about this. It needs to be an Asian stripper. Two birds, buddy.

  16. says:

    1) Is I Can Have Cheezeburger awesome or pure shit?
    Good shit I guess, I wouldnt give em a dime though lol

    2) Kelly Ripa, hot or not?
    Hot! So is her husband lol

    3) How old was that lady behind me in the line at the DMV today, 18 or 40?
    I think she was 21, it was her birthday

    4) If I shut the light off and than ran into the wall as hard as I could, would everything go white instead of going black because it is already black?
    Yes you would see a white light, just dont go towards it

    5) Will I ever sleep with an Asian girl?
    Sure you will! You could always go on craigslist… lol

  17. says:

    1. I agree: Shit like that will lead to the downfall of civilization. It chaps my ass that a totally cool pic of an animal has to be ruined by stupid captions in net-speak.

    2. Not.

    3. She wasn’t a woman, dude. She was a man in drag.

    4. Yeah, you need a new hobby or else you need to write more stuff to keep us entertained. You’ve got way too much time on your hands.

    5. I am not even gonna touch that one.

  18. says:

    1) I’m just really pissed that I didn’t come up with idea myself!!!

    2) I’d hit it.

    3) Hey – who you callin’ 40???

    4) I’ll have to get back to you.

    5) Yes, you haz eggroll.

  19. says:

    The little kitty pictures got a giggle out of me so I approve.

    Kelly Ripa is ok but her head is huge compared to her skinny little body.

    No matter what the answer to that question is, it’s either a very good compliment or a bad insult. I guess the number one indicator would be how much did her boobs sag and did she have feathered bangs?

    I got so distracted by laughing at this question that I can’t think of an intelligent or witty answer!

    Asian chicks, hmm? Go drive around UB for a bit?

  20. says:

    1. cute, i was stuck on the web site way to long.

    2. too skinny

    3. wouldn’t tell the truth even if you asked her.

    4. go for it!!!! never know untill you try ;)

    5. same as above

  21. says:

    1. It’s so wrong it must be right.

    2. I’m betting if anyone ran into her they’d be kissing her ass.

    3. 24 going on 34.

    4. Silly kitty-cat.

    5. You’ll have to let us know how this fettish works out. Don’t keep us in the dark!

  22. says:

    1) I might enjoy the pics if they used proper captions vs the internet grammer…call me OCD, but that annoys me far too much. AND…they use the old style of web page creation…no style or rhyme/reason to it. It is just all thrown up on the page. I say it is shit!
    2) Hot in a Stepford Wife sort of way
    3) With today’s young partying so hard and looking way older than they should, and the miracles of plastic surgery…I say..who the F knows?
    4) If you hit with your eyes open, it would be white, unless you pass out. If your eyes are closed and you hit, it is more of a reddish/black color with little flashes of white (stars)…I know, I have fallen hard and seen it.
    5) Will you?

  23. says:

    5) Will I ever sleep with an Asian girl?

    Well I will tell you two things to never say to an Asian girl.

    “Ooooh I love Asian Women”

    “I have never been with an Asian Woman”

    and you are good to go

    and Inga.. not all of us have high pitched voices. That’s like saying All Aussies have horrible accents that no one can understand

    Cheers

  24. says:

    I FUK’N HATE the stupid ass fake grammer and I guess its SPZD to B 2 qute but its really annoying to me!! I always thought it was a bunch of dumb kids who were just making up those captions, I didn’t know it was a real website. ugh, the written word (besides yours Kev ;) ) is becoming a joke.
    Plus I love dogs.

  25. says:

    the “I can haz cheezburger” thing actually started at an internet site where 90% of all internet meme’s are started. Fox 11 in Wisconsin recently did a piece exposing this site where all members are required to be posted as “anonymous,” hence all forms of mob think are expropriated from the site.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UxWgRY1I_SI

    The fact that icanhazcheezburger.com is banking off of this.. well that’s pretty much ridiculous. I hate to see such a fun meme destroyed by some greedy asshole.

  26. says:

    1. It will be funny for 8 more minutes. Then shit.
    2. Only if wearing black leather.
    3. 36 and not a woman.
    4. Yes, and it will smell like buttered popcorn.
    5. Sleep, yes.

  27. says:

    I hate that site!…I’d rather sit in a dark room and be randomly punched in the face…

    Kelly Ripa – I’d hit it…

  28. says:

    Iz luv I Can Has Cheezeburger. Sometimes I need something light, fluffy, and stupid to take my mind off the drudgery of work.

  29. says:

    1) Awesome
    2) Not
    3) 32
    4) No
    5) Probably not

  30. says:

    The answers to your questions:

    1) I was confused about how to feel in regards to those pictures as well. In fact, just the other day I asked my friend why everyone is so obsessed with cats who use bad grammar all the time. I guess it’s sort of cute, in a nauseating way.
    2) She vaguely reminds me of the Cryptkeeper.
    3) She was probably 13.
    4) I don’t know, give it a try and let me know what happens.
    5) You can sleep with anyone you put your mind to.

  31. says:

    Pure shit. There are a few good ones, but most of them are dumb. I’m a sucker for the “Invisible” series (ie. Invisible Bike) but honestly, most of them need to go away.

  32. says:

    That site sucks. You need to check out cuteoverload.com- fucking ten times better!!!

  33. says:

    1) Is I Can Have Cheezeburger awesome or pure shit?

    SHIT

    2) Kelly Ripa, hot or not?

    HOT

  34. says:

    5. Come to Korea and I’ll hook you up. They are hot and ready to learn English from western guys. That’s your lead in, the rest is up to you.

  35. says:

    I am really jealous because they are doing so good…but I hate that computer speak it hurts my head to even think of what it is supposed to say. Maybe I will come out with a LOLCats site that is in proper English…and not make a cent!!

  36. Roo says:

    To all those complaining about the grammar, you are completely missing the point! The bad grammar is a piss take of those plebs who seriously write like that. All of those captions will be by people with normally good grammar. IT’S A JOKE. Sense of humour? Are you out there?

    “Shit like that will lead to the downfall of civilization”.

    Now THERE is someone with a sense of humour ;)

  37. S says:

    1. shit
    2. not
    3. who cares
    4. dah-NO
    5. IF you can get one to say yes

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