"Maybe it was a dream, you know, a very weird, bizarre, vivid, erotic, wet,
detailed dream. Maybe we have malaria."

Aug
07

I Decided to do a Press Release

By: Bobby Finstock on 08/7/07 @ 4:22 am

For those of you who don’t know, which is probably like 90% of you, I have recently moved into the top search term in google for “Scott Baio small penis”… I know you are all jealous.

To trumpet this fact I figured that I would put out a press release for all the world to know about my glory.

Scott_Baio

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Contact:
Kevin
PointlessBanter.net

http://pointlessbanter.net

kevin@pointlessbanter.net

Pointlessbanter.net Moves Into Top Google Ranking for “Scott Baio Small Penis”

Buffalo, NY – August 7, 2007 – In one of the single greatest achievements of the internet age, Pointlessbanter.net has moved into the top Google search ranking for the coveted term “Scott Baio Small Penis.” This achievement will allow pointlessbanter.net, one of the web’s premiere humor sites, to draw at least five new visitors a day.

When asked about this accomplishment Kevin, the giddy owner of pointlessbanter.net, could hardly contain himself, “Honestly I had no idea this was even a possibility. I was so happy that I had to go out to the local bar and buy a round for everyone in there. Thank god I went in the middle of the day so there were only two alcoholics in there. They were possibly homeless guys looking to escape the heat but it doesn’t matter though, the nine dollars was well spent in celebration.”

Where does pointlessbanter.net go from here? “We are currently sitting fourth in google for ‘Dolph Lundgren naked’, I really think with a little hard work and a lot of elbow grease we can take over that top spot! My parents would be so proud of me.”

Pointlessbanter.net is a long running humor blog that originally started on MySpace.com. For two years it was one of the most read blogs on the social networking website receiving over two million hits in 2006. The well known blog moved to the permanent location on pointlessbanter.net in 2007 where it has attracted a fair share of death threats, stalkers, and rave reviews.

###

For information: http://www.pointlessbanter.net or
Contact: kevin@pointlessbanter.net

Now I just sit back and wait for all the e-mail interview requests to start pouring in… or go to the DMV and register my car. I think going to the DMV would be a better use of my time.

What is the next search term I should shoot for?

I kind of like Killer Bunny Rabbits with AIDS

Filed in: News

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

23 Responses to “I Decided to do a Press Release”

  1. says:

    Kevin, you are a nerd. Congratulations, I want to have your babies.

  2. says:

    [quote comment="4165"]Kevin, you are a nerd. Congratulations, I want to have your babies.[/quote]

    Oh it is a major accomplishment… and I didn’t have anything else to write about today

  3. says:

    Wooo hooo, good for you, dun forget the little people who got you there…lmao…the oompa loompas.

  4. says:

    I think I should write press releases for my daily accomplishes. “Katie cooks italian chicken, very popular with boyfriend.”

    Okay, not as impressive as yours.

  5. says:

    [quote comment="4168"]I think I should write press releases for my daily accomplishes. “Katie cooks italian chicken, very popular with boyfriend.”

    Okay, not as impressive as yours.[/quote]

    Are you kidding? that is a way bigger accomplishment than having a random thing appear in google

  6. says:

    Hahaha, it sounds like an article from the Onion…

  7. says:

    So how the heck did you find out it was that combination? Were you trying to find pictures of his penis to jerk off to? haha jk

  8. says:

    Anything to do with Pamela Anderson and her boobs are good for a giggle…

  9. says:

    Does Scott indeed have this problem? (hehe)

  10. says:

    How about next time you do “soap on a rope slightly used?”

  11. says:

    wow . . . a stunning accomplishment the likes of which have never been seen by man or machine. This day shall live on in glory in the hearts of millions of fans of Baios tiny penis. If one man should be heralded from on high, his greatness touted from every rooftop in a symphony of adulation, it is you Kevin, not the itsy bitsy dicksy, but you. Congratulations and may your future be as bright as the white hot center of a thousand burning suns!

  12. says:

    Congrats Kevin. I’m also giddy for you. If I weren’t so tired I’d be jumping up and down. While that may be an exaggeration, you still rock.

  13. says:

    Somebody once landed on my site by searching “Cunnilingus foods that make it taste better”. I never nabbed the top spot though.

  14. says:

    [quote comment="4181"]Somebody once landed on my site by searching “Cunnilingus foods that make it taste better”. I never nabbed the top spot though.[/quote]

    You are going to need to bare down and write a little more on that topic

  15. says:

    when you become famous, please don’t become like Andy dick.

  16. says:

    [quote comment="4183"]when you become famous, please don’t become like Andy dick.[/quote]

    Doing copious amounts of coke and blowing guy? I think I am safe.

  17. says:

    Kevin… again another funny as hell post… have you submitted the press release to anyone yet?

  18. says:

    You can make any small feat seem impressive. You may be able to get a job as a White House speech writer.

  19. says:

    [quote comment="4186"]Kevin… again another funny as hell post… have you submitted the press release to anyone yet?[/quote]

    I put it out on a few of the free press release submittal services. Most won’t go until tomorrow morning.

  20. says:

    [quote comment="4187"]You can make any small feat seem impressive. You may be able to get a job as a White House speech writer.[/quote]

    Mission Accomplished!!!

  21. says:

    I think you should try for the number one result for a really common term, like cat or something. Gives you something to shoot for.

  22. says:

    [...] in 2007 where it has attracted a fair share of death threats, stalkers, and rave reviews source: I Decided to do a Press Release, [...]

  23. [...] I Decided to do a Press Release | Pointless BanterFor those of you who don’t know, which is probably like 90% of you, I have recently moved into the top search term in google for Scott Baio small penis I [...]

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