The Quality of Your Cities Craigslist Hookers is Proportionate to the Quality of the Women in Your City
I think I have stumbled across the greatest theory in the history of mankind, one that will revolutionize human migration patterns and procreation. A theory that will impact how and where we live and might be the death blow to multiple major metropolitan centers in the United States… no wait… THE WORLD.
The physical appearance of the girls in the erotic services section on a cities craigslist is proportionate to the quality of the women in the city. In my ongoing quest to make fun of craigslist hookers I started to look through the Buffalo area’s craiglist and saw some really rough stuff, I began to do some research and looked at various cities. This led to some intense research that produced charts like this:
(Note: Charts were actually done on a napkin with crayon, this is a reproduction of what the charts would have looked like if I cared.)
I want to take a second to look at the Buffalo area, this is what the good city of Buffalo had to offer on craigslist:
Casey looks like Vladimir Putin in drag with some shitty ink.
Don’t tell me you don’t see the resemblance… Next.
Is that supposed to be erotic? When did biting the end of a bottle turn into something that is supposed to get me excited? When I see that picture it just makes me think you can gnash glass with your teeth, why would I want my penis anywhere near that? I wish I could show you the rest of her pictures but they aren’t exactly appropriate, let me just say though if anyone has a fantasy of sleeping with an offensive lineman from the Bills I will pass along her number.
Now on the other hand we need to test this theory out on a different city. Let me take Miami as the opposite of Buffalo…. What does Miami have to offer?
Once again another theory devised by Kevin 100% right the quality of women in a city can be determined by the hookers that post on craigslist. I am now off to book my tickets for spring break in Miami, woot woot.
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On 08/1/07 at 6:59 am
said:
SPRING BREAK!! haha
On 08/1/07 at 7:00 am
said:
HAHAHAHAHAH….Buffalo Skank.
Nice fake tile. Is that a dude?
On 08/1/07 at 7:12 am
said:
Damn there are some hotties in Buffalo. I think I will winter there this year.
On 08/1/07 at 7:13 am
said:
haha. that is totally great. i’m going to have to go check out the sacramento hookers on craigslist now. i was impressed with the charts.
On 08/1/07 at 7:15 am
said:
Damn, I’m fucked. Not in a good way.
On 08/1/07 at 7:19 am
said:
[quote comment="3964"]SPRING BREAK!! haha[/quote]
I am going to go by the will smith cd with Miami on it right now
On 08/1/07 at 7:19 am
said:
[quote comment="3965"]HAHAHAHAHAH….Buffalo Skank.
Nice fake tile. Is that a dude?[/quote]
I have my doubts if it is or not
On 08/1/07 at 7:20 am
said:
[quote comment="3966"]Damn there are some hotties in Buffalo. I think I will winter there this year.[/quote]
You are totally eying the bottle girl huh?
On 08/1/07 at 7:22 am
said:
[quote comment="3967"]haha. that is totally great. i’m going to have to go check out the sacramento hookers on craigslist now. i was impressed with the charts.[/quote]
I wonder what the quality in Sactown is…
On 08/1/07 at 7:22 am
said:
[quote comment="3967"] i was impressed with the charts.[/quote]
It gives it an air of importance
On 08/1/07 at 7:23 am
said:
[quote comment="3968"]Damn, I’m fucked. Not in a good way.[/quote]
That isn’t a good sign
On 08/1/07 at 7:25 am
said:
I think just reading the personal ads on CL crack me up - you should check out the ones in Sacramento - they are just plain scary!
I am going to have to see what the hookers look like in this area when i’m not on my work computer..
On 08/1/07 at 7:38 am
said:
If Buffalo is that bad, what will Detroit’s c-list hookers look like? Al Sharpton?
On 08/1/07 at 7:48 am
said:
Hmm, I haven’t looked up the hookers in my city on Craigslist, but I usually see A LOT of hookers about a mile and a half from where I live. If they are supposed to be an indication of the hotness level of the average female population in my area, then my city must pretty much consist of really haggardly, scuzzy meth addicts passing themselves off as the femal species. Sad, so very very sad.
On 08/1/07 at 8:19 am
said:
Be careful that Miami chick may be a guy…you don’t see the adam’s apple until it’s too late…and you can photoshop that puppy out.
On 08/1/07 at 8:29 am
said:
you should see the south carolina ones…
On 08/1/07 at 8:41 am
said:
So funny! Yeah business is probably slow for the glass-gnashers
On 08/1/07 at 8:43 am
said:
I cracked up watching Entourage Sunday. My boyfriend was very curious as to how I already knew about Craig’s List. I said “duh, Kevin’s Blogs. Where have you been?”
I’ll check the East Tennessee ones. I have a feeling they won’t do us justice. Probably lots of meth heads.
On 08/1/07 at 8:58 am
said:
I wonder what the quality of the philadelphia area hookers look like….
On 08/1/07 at 9:06 am
said:
[quote comment="3984"]I cracked up watching Entourage Sunday. My boyfriend was very curious as to how I already knew about Craig’s List. I said “duh, Kevin’s Blogs. Where have you been?”
I’ll check the East Tennessee ones. I have a feeling they won’t do us justice. Probably lots of meth heads.[/quote]
I like to think of myself as an educational resource.
On 08/1/07 at 9:24 am
said:
Thank God, I took my hooker ad off of Craigslist. But I was thinking of branching over to Buffalo, I think I’d do well there, if homely works.
On 08/1/07 at 11:09 am
said:
I think that first one looks like she’s standing in a prison bathroom.
On 08/1/07 at 12:51 pm
said:
Wow, I was a little proud to be from the Buffalo area until I saw those ladies. Yeah, I use the term “ladies” very loosely…
On 08/1/07 at 2:11 pm
said:
That’s so unfair. I looked at a bunch of the Denver ones and they’re all butt ugly. Denver has some really pretty girls though. I guess I’ll have to start paying attention and see what the hot/ugly ratio really is.