"Maybe it was a dream, you know, a very weird, bizarre, vivid, erotic, wet,
detailed dream. Maybe we have malaria."


Trip Notes: Arizona and Utah

By: Bobby Finstock on 07/26/07 @ 5:34 am

It is 4:30 in the AM and I am sitting in a hotel room in Moab, Utah… Right now I would like to be getting some sleep but apparently the people in room 316 decided have an orgy or do something with sheep.

The drive through Northern Arizona was interesting, you went from desert to pine trees as far as the eye could see back to desert. I saw the greatest rainbow of my life as I went through the desert, then got destroyed by the biggest rain storm since Evan Almighty (I didn’t see that steaming pile of shit either, I just wanted to reference it). The route I took 89-160-191, basically led me through no man’s land, well I shouldn’t say that, there were plenty of potential polygamist compounds.


Favorite Sign: Emergency Pullout (Hey I think that has been my birth control of choice for the last ten years.)

By going through the desert with hardly any other people on the road, I could go pretty much as fast as I wanted, which I enjoyed until I learned about open range cattle. On 191 there is a ton of open range cattle, going over a hill at 95 mph and seeing a huge ass cow in front of you really teaches you to slow down a little. I almost blasted one cow and for the next ten minutes all I could think about was how that would have been a shitty way to die. Crashing into a cow, then having them crap on me as they die and I slow fade away in the twisted steel and potential hamburger with the smell of manure lingering…

I-Pod Song I can’t get enough of: Glendora by Rilo Kiley

Before I stopped to get a place to sleep last night I thought about trying to find an out of the way town and hoping that it would be controlled by one crime boss like the movie Run. I could run afoul of said crime boss and end up racing and fighting my way out of the town while single handily taking down the syndicate, the idea seemed to be a winner to me. However, I was wearing flip flops and knew they weren’t the correct shoes to either race in or fight in. Once again functional fashion and lack of sensible shoes ruin my ability to fight organized crime.

Well the sex parade has stopped, I am going to see if I can sleep for the next two hours.

Filed in: My Life

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

13 Responses to “Trip Notes: Arizona and Utah”

  1. says:

    Welcome to Utah! Home of the mormons!!

  2. says:

    There are lots of places in the country I would willingly go. Utah is not one of them.

  3. says:

    [...] Link to Article evan almighty Trip Notes: Arizona and Utah » Posted at Pointlessbanter.net on [...]

  4. says:

    “Greatest rainbow of my life” = gayest thing Kevin has ever written.
    Miss you, buddy.

  5. says:

    “in the twisted steel and potential hamburger with the smell of manure lingering” I totally have that image in my head and it is hysterical.

  6. says:

    Awesome road sign – did you get a picture of you standing next to the sign?

  7. says:

    Emergency pullout! So that’s how the mormons do it.

  8. says:

    Something like this?

  9. says:

    [quote comment="3855"]Something like this?

    Supposed to be a pic of a man humping sheep, I guess there are no picture comments here

  10. says:

    haha BIG LOVE!!! gotta love HBO!! i have to agree i want to see a picture of you next to this emergency pullout sign!

  11. says:

    When I went cross country I drove through part of Utah- once I got around Park City, that was some of the most beautiful and dramatic scenery I have ever seen.

  12. says:

    Ah, Utah, home of old men marrying twelve-year-old girls, where Tom Green had 15 wives, several of whom were under the age of sixteen. Home of hundreds of underground raves, and a surprisingly large drug problem. God I miss it.

  13. says:

    Ha! I’ve gone to hotels where the walls were WAY too thing. Orgies and sheep? I hope you finally got some rest. That can be unnerving!

© 2007 Pointless Banter - All Rights Reserved || Designed: E.Webscapes || Social Media Consulting: Comedy Central Sound