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Isn’t your entire goal as an adult not to wait in line?

By: Bobby Finstock on 07/24/07 @ 5:29 am

In seeing the throngs of people lining up for the new Harry Potter book this week I got to thinking… As an “adult” (and I use that term loosely) my entire motivation in life is to avoid waiting in lines for longer than five minutes. The only thing that I can understand waiting in line for is concert or sporting event tickets, besides that there is no reason to voluntarily wait in line.


I hate waiting in line with every fiber of my being, it isn’t because I think my time is too valuable to be spent in line because lets be frank, I piss away at least half an hour to an hour a day on a blog. So it’s not like I don’t have time to piss away… The reason why I don’t like it is because it creates totally uncomfortable situations. The thing is unless you are waiting in a line with a friend you are forced to bond with the people around you. These are never cool people though, they are usually the dregs of society because they aren’t smart enough to figure out how NOT to wait in line.

Besides having to deal with people you wouldn’t let prepare your food, you also end up having to come to terms with something you like. For example lets say you go to an autograph signing of an athlete or a celebrity, the people that you will see in line will be usually the craziest of fans. In that line you will run into people that have spent hours creating a mural made of painted sand that took them 145 hours to make or someone that has named all their cats after each character the actor has played. Because of your interaction with these people you begin to question if you really like the person THAT much and maybe your time could be spent better.

So Harry Potter fans thank you… Thanks for making me come to the resolution that I will never wait in line for anything again, well except for an over priced Polaroid from a washed up porn star at a strip club…. after all a man does have to set limits.

What would you wait in line for and what would you not wait in line for?

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

11 Responses to “Isn’t your entire goal as an adult not to wait in line?”

  1. says:

    Ugh, culturally some people are not always used the idea of waiting in a line either, and that’s REALLY annoying. I will hardly stand in line for anything I don’t have to, not even movie or concert tickets, I just buy them online whenever I can.

  2. says:

    Oh I hate waiting in line!!!! It’s so annoying and there’s always someone weird either ahead or behind me and they always try talking to me and/or my friends. Then there’s the awkward ignoring while he’s still rambling on about something I could care less about.

    I would stand in line for tickets to see T.I cause I freakin love him. Although I’m a fan of Harry Potter, I will never stand in line for anything they’re trying to sell, whether it’s movies or books. Never ever.

  3. says:

    I don’t mind waiting in line for things I want, must be that Catholic school influence.

    The Harry Potter line wasn’t bad. The attending party was a lot of fun – I dressed up wand and all. Most of the people I talked to were ones I knew and the one annoying guy who kept trying to ask me out (very weird to be my age with my teenager in tow and get hit on by a guy barely legal for the bar scene) I bopped him on the head with my wand and said “muffliato”! It worked, he gave me a weird look and wandered off, fast. Geekery pays well.

  4. says:

    I would never stand in line to get an autograph. And, um, hello? HP fans? Amazon. Pre-order. Delivered right to your doorstep.

  5. says:

    Ugh. Reminds me of my days in the Navy. “Hurry and Wait” for everything. Moving groups of 100 through the chow line, shot line, and the worst — gas chamber. Miserable.

    Since those horrible days that cause me to cringe with haunting memories (thanks) I avoid lines for everything. I don’t understand why a book, or a phone, are so important you can’t wait a few days until the crowds are gone? And why would anybody with an internet connection wait in line for movie tickets? Baffling.

  6. says:

    Ha. Definitely not going to wait in line for a book.

    And I’m not going to build a sand castle in any one’s image, even if I knew them personally.

  7. says:

    I guess if I was going to stand in line for a sporting event or a concert, then I’d stand in line for a book too. However, I ordered my HP on Amazon and UPS was standing outside my apt. door at 9 a.m. Sat. morning. I was slightly embarrassed standing there in my pajamas, hair a mess, with him handing me a box that said “Attention Muggles: Do not open before July 21!” all over it. But hey, I didn’t have to wait in line.


  8. says:

    I dont get it either,,a concert I can understand because its a one shot deal but a book isnt going anywhere,it isnt a live preformance that cant be re-created,But I guess it’s fun for the people obsessed with it like a trekkie convention,,,,,,wish I had that kind of free time

  9. says:

    I hate waiting in line so much that I will just shove merchandise back on the shelf and leave if the lines are too long.

  10. says:

    I’ve stood in line for autographs, mostly Sabres players (totally worth it

  11. says:

    I don’t understand the hoo hah of HP… I saw some ppl even brought the book to church the other day, for what?? Show off??

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