How to make a successful viral video
User generated content has exploded on the web the last couple of years: blogs, photography, remixes, and videos can be found all over the web. Maxim Magazine just wrote an article about how your content sucks and you should stop making videos, which I thought was a little negative. Today I am going to help you out by explaining how to make a successful viral video, turning you into a superstar for all the geeks aka internet junkies out there.
Rule 1: You need to have “Star Wars” characters or a reference to “Stars Wars”
This is the first and most important rule of making a viral video, according to my calculations 79% of all viral videos contain something to do with Star Wars. For those of you who don’t know, Star Wars fans control the interweb, if we don’t keep them happy the interweb will shut down forever. If you think net neutrality is the biggest threat to your internet use think again, it is grumpy Star Wars fanboys.
If you look at some of the most successful viral videos they always have a character from Star Wars doing something banal like shopping for enemas, working at a supermarket, or failing to get their stormtrooper armor off leading to them pooping themselves because of the taco bell they ate on break. (Note: The last one hasn’t been made yet, I am totally calling dibs on that.)
Rule 2: If no Star Wars reference is made you need: someone dancing poorly, a hot girl that guys feel they can “relate” to, or something odd from a show from Japan or Europe
For those videos that fall under the remaining 21% of user generated content they will almost always contain one of the three things listed above. Watching people that can’t dance is always funny, it is impossible for it to EVER get old. Also it is something that spans race as white people can laugh and feel better about themselves because they can say, “I don’t look THAT bad dancing.” Meanwhile every other race can just pick on whites.
The hot girl that guys feel they can relate to gives the guy sitting at home who hasn’t been on a date in 5 years secret hope that he can land this girl. Even though she lives thousands of miles away, she just seems so approachable because she knows how to use a webcam and isn’t charging him by the minute. So he will listen to her rants, watch her paint her toenails or do whatever else she does, it is like voyeur porn for people that don’t have a credit card.
Anything with people that do not speak English that comes off as odd is entertaining, bonus points if it is a crazy Japanese game show.
Rule 3: The “America’s Funniest Home Videos” Rule Still Applies
Any shot to the balls or anything else that unexpectedly causes pain is automatically funny and will be a success. People love watching nut shots or fat women falling down stairs, it is the lowest form of comedy but is never unfunny. Well, unless it is happening to you.
There you have it, three simple rules to create a successful viral video. Now I must go and attempt to hit a Japanese guy in the balls with a lightsaber while a hot chick with an “I <3 Geeks” shirt does a horrible version of the cabbage patch, and catch it all on tape.
Are there any other viral video trends that can go away forever?
On 07/20/07 at 5:19 am
said:
First!!
On 07/20/07 at 5:20 am
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so maybe i should get out the video camera next time my brother the star wars geek decides to dress up with his friends……
On 07/20/07 at 5:21 am
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[quote comment="3697"]so maybe i should get out the video camera next time my brother the star wars geek decides to dress up with his friends……[/quote]
That would be an excellent move
On 07/20/07 at 5:23 am
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Those videos where something scary and/or hidious pops out at the end can go away. My husband always gets me with these, and it so pisses me off. Especially at 6 am, when i’m squinting at my computer screen and still half asleep. Sure it wakes me up, but they make me skittish all day. Am i a pussy?
On 07/20/07 at 5:23 am
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setting a trap to defeat a five year old works too…
On 07/20/07 at 5:26 am
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[quote comment="3700"]setting a trap to defeat a five year old works too…[/quote]
Whomever does that is totally lame.
On 07/20/07 at 5:26 am
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I am very offended by the “something odd from a show from Japan or Europeâ€. Name 1 odd show from Europe? But I guess it’s in the eye of the beholder. We actually have humoristic shows where you have to think a bit yourself and can’t rely on characters or extremely obvious flashbacks explaining the jokes afterwards.
5 Kudos!
PS. Please ignore me as everyone else does, it’s the Friday wine we get at work talking which is making me all emotional.
On 07/20/07 at 5:27 am
said:
[quote comment="3699"]Those videos where something scary and/or hidious pops out at the end can go away. My husband always gets me with these, and it so pisses me off. Especially at 6 am, when i’m squinting at my computer screen and still half asleep. Sure it wakes me up, but they make me skittish all day. Am i a pussy?[/quote]
Yeah you may want to reevaluate your marriage.
On 07/20/07 at 5:28 am
said:
[quote comment="3702"]I am very offended by the “something odd from a show from Japan or Europeâ€. Name 1 odd show from Europe? But I guess it’s in the eye of the beholder. We actually have humoristic shows where you have to think a bit yourself and can’t rely on characters or extremely obvious flashbacks explaining the jokes afterwards.
5 Kudos!
PS. Please ignore me as everyone else does, it’s the Friday wine we get at work talking which is making me all emotional.[/quote]
Anything German…
On 07/20/07 at 5:30 am
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especially if it involves the stuffed doll of said child
On 07/20/07 at 5:35 am
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[quote comment="3705"]especially if it involves the stuffed doll of said child[/quote]
And a pirates of the Caribbean sticky shooter
On 07/20/07 at 5:35 am
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Hmm, fights seems to be pretty good too, especially if they are really skinny white girls slapping each other and pulling hair rolling around on the ground. Cute animal or baby tricks, and roommate pranks, like buttering floors. Classic.
On 07/20/07 at 5:39 am
said:
so kevin if I have a hot chick dressed as Princess Leia dancing badly getting kicked in the vag by a japenese speaking midget, this could potentially be successful viral video?! Thanks for the heads up. My kids wanted to make a spoof of Rob and Big, now I can tell them what to add.
That video “you can’t text break up” sure had Star Wars characters and a vampire!
On 07/20/07 at 5:40 am
said:
[quote comment="3696"]First!![/quote]
We got a First!
On 07/20/07 at 5:47 am
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[quote comment="3708"]so kevin if I have a hot chick dressed as Princess Leia dancing badly getting kicked in the vag by a japenese speaking midget, this could potentially be successful viral video?! Thanks for the heads up. My kids wanted to make a spoof of Rob and Big, now I can tell them what to add.
That video “you can’t text break up” sure had Star Wars characters and a vampire![/quote]
That would be awesome!
On 07/20/07 at 6:04 am
said:
[quote comment="3704"]
Anything German…[/quote]
Ahaaa I see! Just as an FYI, Europe is not 1 country, but if it makes it easier for you I will pretend it is!
Have an awesome weekend sexy!
On 07/20/07 at 9:13 am
said:
[quote comment="3703"][quote comment="3699"]Those videos where something scary and/or hidious pops out at the end can go away. My husband always gets me with these, and it so pisses me off. Especially at 6 am, when i’m squinting at my computer screen and still half asleep. Sure it wakes me up, but they make me skittish all day. Am i a pussy?[/quote]
Yeah you may want to reevaluate your marriage.[/quote]
I have, and have come to the conclusion that i’m too lazy to walk away. I’m hoping he’ll slap me around a bit so that i can feel completely justified in taking him for all he’s got.
On 07/20/07 at 10:36 am
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any made-up amateur music video that is a parody off something currently happening in pop culture! duh.
On 07/20/07 at 10:36 am
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My ‘How To Make A Bomb Pop’ videos did pretty well last week, and they were completely void of the Big 3 Attention-Getters. However, they also weren’t viewed by 30 million people and featured on Best Week Ever, either.
Back to the drawing board. Where’s my whiffle bat and nutcup?
theCDP.net
On 07/20/07 at 10:54 am
said:
[quote comment="3718"]My ‘How To Make A Bomb Pop’ videos did pretty well last week, and they were completely void of the Big 3 Attention-Getters. However, they also weren’t viewed by 30 million people and featured on Best Week Ever, either.
Back to the drawing board. Where’s my whiffle bat and nutcup?
theCDP.net[/quote]
Yeah that was a great video but I think you are on the right track with the whiffle ball bat… Although the chocolate syrup was a nice touch.
On 07/20/07 at 6:40 pm
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I’m going to try to get Paris Hilton to kick me in the nuts.
On 07/20/07 at 8:04 pm
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I’d LOVE to see a gang of 5-yr-olds beating up Richard Simmons with light sabers. Is that completely wrong?
On 07/22/07 at 8:18 am
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that part about Star Wars is so true. the most popular post i’ve ever gotten hits on and generated the most traffic to my blog was a Star Wars video. This is the post:
http://storminthenews.blogspot.com/2007/07/sunday-funnies-071507.html
On 07/22/07 at 11:52 am
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I used zoo animals in mine. I guess that explains why my friends are the only one that watched it. Oh, and I almost forgot, the zookeeper saw it too.