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Jul
17

Plan my cross country drive

By: Bobby Finstock on 07/17/07 @ 5:09 am

Kevin is coming to a town near you! Ok well maybe not but I could be.

I am planning my drive cross country to grad school and I am looking to make this trip as interesting as possible. I’m trying to plan my route and I am looking for places to stop at that are interesting… Be it a good place to eat, some odd place I have to stop, or a bar where you want to get me drunk and take advantage of me… Whatever works.

On the 23rd I leave the Los Angeles area for Phoenix, Arizona where I am going to go visit a few friends. After that I have to plan my route, should I go through Denver and the midwest? Or do I stay on the southern root and head through Oklahoma City? Both routes have pretty boring drives through some states and I am looking at any recommendations you want to make.

Know a good place where I can see a donkey show? Let me know.
Want to tell me about the strip club that has a one legged midget dancing there? Drop me an e-mail.
Is there a good county fair going on that has the largest pineapple in the world? Now is a good time to share the info.

I am planning to take my time driving and do some different things with my trip… Maybe do a Where’s Waldo type of thing?

waldo johnson

No not Waldo Johnson (this was one of the first pictures that came up when I googled Waldo)

More like this Waldo.

waldo

Lets hear the suggestions, either leave them in the comments or drop me an e-mail or a message on crapspace… Where should I go?

Filed in: My Life

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

52 Responses to “Plan my cross country drive”

  1. says:

    i think you should come spend a day in norcal first. i haven’t driven cross country in over a decade. now i think i might have to do it next year.

  2. says:

    Syracuse has… well nothing, but it is relatively close to where you are going. In August we have the “great” New York State Fair, only problem is there won’t be as many drunk redneck hicks this year. You can’t bring alcohol onto the grounds, and there is a rule that you can’t go topless anymore. I am going to be walking around selling already stained wife beaters to people who forgot to pack their own.

  3. says:

    *sigh* I’d take you out, get you drunk and leave you at a gay bar, but alas ou can’t drive to B’dos.

  4. says:

    If you happen to swing through D.C. let me know we’ll get together for a drink.

  5. says:

    [quote comment="3510"]Syracuse has… well nothing, but it is relatively close to where you are going. In August we have the “great” New York State Fair, only problem is there won’t be as many drunk redneck hicks this year. You can’t bring alcohol onto the grounds, and there is a rule that you can’t go topless anymore. I am going to be walking around selling already stained wife beaters to people who forgot to pack their own.[/quote]

    I have been to Cuse… it is better than Utica

  6. says:

    [quote comment="3512"]If you happen to swing through D.C. let me know we’ll get together for a drink.[/quote]

    I have to hit Bloomington, IN so I don’t think I am going to come up through the south and then the east coast… I have to go see my friend’s new baby…

  7. says:

    [quote comment="3509"]http://www.route50.com/[/quote]

    Ah nice…

  8. says:

    [quote comment="3511"]*sigh* I’d take you out, get you drunk and leave you at a gay bar, but alas ou can’t drive to B’dos.[/quote]

    would the traffic cone be shoved in my ass before or after?

  9. says:

    My family lives in Oklahoma and I know the place well.. Very very boring.. but if you do go that route… Go to Eskimo Joes in Stillwater. That’s like the most famous thing besides the Sooners and the Cowboys. It is about hour northeast of OKC.. not sure you want to take the extra time to go there… well except to get cool shirts but I am sure you can order it online. You know what. fuck it.. just skip the state altogether.

  10. says:

    Well swinging through my state (WA) would be completely out of the way and pointless, ooh, but since you’re going to AZ, maybe you should try the new observation deck at the grand canyon. I wouldn’t because I think it’s scary as hell, but hey, you might like that kind of thing.

  11. says:

    I know you probably won’t be swinging through Tennessee. Especially with your general dislike of southern folk. But I could take you for some great BBQ. Wouldn’t even make you watch NASCAR.

  12. says:

    [quote comment="3518"]My family lives in Oklahoma and I know the place well.. Very very boring.. but if you do go that route… Go to Eskimo Joes in Stillwater. That’s like the most famous thing besides the Sooners and the Cowboys. It is about hour northeast of OKC.. not sure you want to take the extra time to go there… well except to get cool shirts but I am sure you can order it online. You know what. fuck it.. just skip the state altogether.[/quote]

    Nobody has anything good to say about Oklahoma….

  13. says:

    [quote comment="3519"]Well swinging through my state (WA) would be completely out of the way and pointless, ooh, but since you’re going to AZ, maybe you should try the new observation deck at the grand canyon. I wouldn’t because I think it’s scary as hell, but hey, you might like that kind of thing.[/quote]

    I hit the grand canyon when I was younger and drove across the country… I don;t know if I would want to hit that deck

  14. says:

    [quote comment="3520"]I know you probably won’t be swinging through Tennessee. Especially with your general dislike of southern folk. But I could take you for some great BBQ. Wouldn’t even make you watch NASCAR.[/quote]

    I-40 is currently in the running right now.

  15. says:

    [quote comment="3516"][quote comment="3511"]*sigh* I’d take you out, get you drunk and leave you at a gay bar, but alas ou can’t drive to B’dos.[/quote]

    would the traffic cone be shoved in my ass before or after?[/quote]

    I’m thinking before, you know, to prepare you.

  16. says:

    Uh oh. I could be in the running for a visit. Hooray!!! I’ll have to come up with some fun activities for you.

    When is this trip? Want to go to a VOLS game?

  17. says:

    I obviously didn’t read the blog very closely.

  18. says:

    try to avoid south carolina. only good things they came from this state i call home is kevin garnett, jermaine o’neal and me.

  19. says:

    I was hoping you would adda stop in the South Jersey Pinelands-we can go devil huntin’-yee-haw!
    Don’t forget to bring the “child wrangler” thing -a -ma-jig

  20. says:

    Southern Root? hee!

    Anyway, you should definitely make a stop in Oklahoma City! Just leave your drugs at home, Macaulay, ’cause i’d rather not have to bail you outta jail while you’re here.

  21. says:

    Well I guess you could stop in good ol’ Springfield, IL. I can’t remember the exact slogan they use, but I know it ends in 3 ugly ones…haha.

    From August 10-19 is the Illinois State Fair. At the fair you will see every type of person. From the drunken rednecks to little girls dressing like hookers. You’ll love it!

  22. says:

    Well…whatever you do…don’t forget to go to Roscoe’s Chicken N Waffles before you leave!

  23. says:

    I totally messed up that second sentence. It was supposed to say that we have a Deja Vu Strip Club and I can’t remember the slogan they use, but it ends in 3 ugly ones.

    Sorry about that.

  24. says:

    [quote comment="3521"][quote comment="3518"]My family lives in Oklahoma and I know the place well.. Very very boring.. but if you do go that route… Go to Eskimo Joes in Stillwater. That’s like the most famous thing besides the Sooners and the Cowboys. It is about hour northeast of OKC.. not sure you want to take the extra time to go there… well except to get cool shirts but I am sure you can order it online. You know what. fuck it.. just skip the state altogether.[/quote]

    Nobody has anything good to say about Oklahoma….[/quote]

    I will say something good then… or at least amusing. In Air Force Basic Training the only people allowed to say “OK” were people from Oklahoma. Of course, in order to do that they needed to write a report on why they love Oklahoma… nobody said “OK.”

  25. says:

    It was 114 here in Phoenix yesterday. Enjoy hell! When the 24th rolls around, I’ll think of the poor sap driving through. Then again, I live here, so you’ve probably got me beat there…damn.

  26. says:

    Ok……….Oklahoma may be a bit boring, but there are a few highlights in the OKC area. And, I need a vacation, so come this way, and I can show you around!!! :) You may hate it, you may love it, but at least you could say you have been here……… (which, I am not really sure that means anything, but you asked for an opinion, so there is mine!) :)

  27. says:

    I live in Oklahoma and love it here. I’ll take you Indian Casinos, redneck bars and then to a good swinger party.

  28. says:

    [quote comment="3544"]I live in Oklahoma and love it here. I’ll take you Indian Casinos, redneck bars and then to a good swinger party.[/quote]

    Holy shit..I think we live in the same place…

  29. says:

    Good deal, you already heading to Phoenix. Which means we can meet up at the Bar on 9th and Ash in Tempe.
    And have a few cold ones together.
    No worries it aint a biker bar.. quite the opposite (I save the biker bar for your next trip out here. I first gotta make sure you can actually truly hold your own… once your graduated… maybe)
    Seriously; would be cool having a beer with yah.
    I have been planning to do the same (cross-country trip) for 2 years now. One day I recover from the accident & wont need surgeries any more. And that’ll be the day I am heading out.
    xox
    Trix

  30. says:

    Why is your sidebar on the bottom of your blog now? I tell you, this thing looks so much better in Firefox than IE it’s not even funny. I’m not sure why I even go on the internet at work…everything looks like hell.

    Have you checked Roadside America? There’s usually enough there to keep you engaged for a while on your travels. Although after the thirtieth pink elephant statue at a rest stop, it gets a little tiring.

  31. says:

    if you are stopping in AZ you better make time for me or a couple shots.. or else

  32. says:

    Come to Little Rock, Kevin!!! You would love the River Market District. Plus there is the President Clinton library.

  33. says:

    well exactly where is your grad school at?…if you end up near PITTSBURGH you definantly need to come to the strip district and have a PRIMANTI BROS sammich…they are especially great after an all niter of clubbing and drinking we all swear by them to keep hangovers away…they have meat, tomato, coleslaw, french fries, and 2 thick slices of italian bread it is a DEFINATE if you ever come out this way

  34. says:

    [quote post="620"]Maybe do a Where’s Waldo type of thing?[/quote]

    Well, if you’re gonna do that, why not visit Waldo, Wisconsin? However, there’s not a lot to do there; it’s not that big of a town.
    Maybe just drive through on your way to someplace else…. ;)

    Sephyroth
    http://www.sephyroth.net

  35. says:

    [quote comment="3519"]Well swinging through my state (WA) would be completely out of the way and pointless, ooh, but since you’re going to AZ, maybe you should try the new observation deck at the grand canyon. I wouldn’t because I think it’s scary as hell, but hey, you might like that kind of thing.[/quote]

    I live in AZ and I wouldn’t pay the fees (unpaved road fee, Grand Canyon West fee, and $25 Skywalk fee) to go stand on a glass platform over the Canyon. I feel like it’s not going to be as big a draw as they think it will be.

  36. says:

    You should come to St. Louis, I know how much you love the midwest!

  37. says:

    You should go through Iowa!!! It doesn’t have much but there is this big rock that is painted on for the vets, pretty cool and its not to far of I-80. Also the Iowa state fair is a big event, its in August(I think).

  38. says:

    I’m moving to Alaska in September so I’ve got the north,
    you take the south!!!! We can rule the world!!!
    *doing my best Simon Bar Sinister laugh*

  39. says:

    Try Fort Worth, TX…it’s a delightful mix of Conservative cowboys, mixed in with smug pot smoking liberals.

  40. says:

    If you swing through the DC/Baltimore area, we should grab a drink. We could combine the trip with hanging out with Vince… he said he’d like to grab a drink with you as well.

  41. says:

    So where are you going to grad school?

  42. says:

    Come to Norman, Oklahoma and feast your eyes upon my perfect breasts…

  43. says:

    Yo man… you better be stopping in Atlanta for a weekend. I def know where the interesting stuff is…

  44. says:

    Dare I mention Ohio? You could always come and tip cows and stuff here. We have a pretty cool Corn Festival where I grew up sometime in August. Again, there’s always cow tipping… Have fun with this, sounds pretty cool!

  45. says:

    I’ve been to Waldo, WI and there is not much to see. It’s near the lake (that would be Michigan) so you could always go look at that.

    I’m in Appleton, two hours north of Milwaukee. There is a bar just to the north, called BeanSnappers. No alcohol, but completely nude dancers. A little further north is the Packer Hall of Fame.

    If you make it to Madison, WI you might want to hit Ella’s Deli. You probably have places like this in NY, but since I’ve never been to NY, Ella’s is the best Jewish Deli!

    If you make it anywhere in this part of the nation, let me know. I will drive as far as Chicago to see you. Or if you stop in Iowa, I will travel there, as well.

  46. says:

    If you hit Madison, WI you’ll be literally minutes from the CDP headquarters.

  47. says:

    [quote comment="3528"]try to avoid south carolina. only good things they came from this state i call home is kevin garnett, jermaine o’neal and me.[/quote]

    I am from SOUTH CAROLINA AND I ROCK DAMMIT

  48. says:

    you could drive in reverse, that way no one will know if your coming or going….see you in a few weeks

  49. says:

    If you drive through Salt Lake you are welcome to make fun of Mormons and stay at my house!

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