"Maybe it was a dream, you know, a very weird, bizarre, vivid, erotic, wet,
detailed dream. Maybe we have malaria."

Jul
16

Super Nanny Has Nothing on Me

By: Bobby Finstock on 07/16/07 @ 4:59 am

Sometimes you will see the following look on a child’s face:

TGI Fridays worms

Some might say that is a look of wonder, of youth, of bewilderment. They would all be wrong, that is a look of a pure and unadulterated sugar rush, a sugar rush so outstanding that you have to plan on taking this child out. I have devised a new device using a simple laundry bag that will revolutionize parenting forever.

I call it the child wrangler 3000, catchy name huh? The Child Wrangler 3000 is used to confine and carry the child while they are coming down off of the sugar high while not restricting their ability to breath.

This weekend after my step father decided to give my nephew a mountain dew, you can probably guess what the results were. The mother of all sugar rushes hit and there was only one thing that could stop it…. Yes that is right the Child Wrangler 3000.

Child Wrangler 3000

Here is the child wrangler 3000 in action:

[video]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yjmDzvOD2k[/video]

(Please notice the laughing of the contained child, it only shows that he was delirious with the sugar rush. Also this was the first test of the device and we have changed the name to the Child Wrangler 3000 because the Child Containment Unit did not sound sexy enough.)

What should the Child Wrangler 3000 retail at? And how much more for the model with a cattle prod?

Filed in: Pop Culture

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

25 Responses to “Super Nanny Has Nothing on Me”

  1. says:

    $29.99 add $10 for the cattle prod… how did you get him to agree to that???

  2. says:

    One day you will have children. \par
    \par
    And that day will be forever known as the “Beginning of the End”.

  3. says:

    P.S. – Did you add fabric softener?

  4. says:

    That is just about the funniest damn thing I have seen. My boss wanted to know what I was laughing at and before you know it the whole damn office is roaring with laughter.\par
    \par
    Great Idea! Those things would sell like hotcakes.

  5. says:

    [quote comment="3426"]$29.99 add $10 for the cattle prod… how did you get him to agree to that???[/quote]\par
    \par
    I just picked him up and stuffed him into it. He thought it was the funniest thing ever… He wanted me to keep him in it all afternoon, he got bored with it after 15 minutes.

  6. says:

    [quote comment="3427"]One day you will have children.\par
    \par
    And that day will be forever known as the “Beginning of the End”.[/quote]\par
    \par
    Or the day hell froze over.

  7. says:

    [quote comment="3429"]That is just about the funniest damn thing I have seen. My boss wanted to know what I was laughing at and before you know it the whole damn office is roaring with laughter.\par
    \par
    Great Idea! Those things would sell like hotcakes.[/quote]\par
    \par
    Nice, hey if you click the share this button it will send the post to anyone in your office. Just in case they want to e-mail it out to anyone… \par
    \par
    Yes I am a whore.

  8. says:

    Oooooo, you’re gonna get buckets of hate mail for this one.\par
    \par
    I’ve seen that look before, it’s the one that makes me hide under my bed in terror. I hate sugar rushes.

  9. says:

    LMAO!!! that is like one of those “seen on tv” ads. Wally World is your best bet lol

  10. says:

    They should hand them out at Chuk E Cheeses…I’ve never wanted something like that for my own kids…they know how to act in public but I’ve wanted to “wrangle” a few who don’t!

  11. says:

    [quote comment="3432"][quote comment="3429"]That is just about the funniest damn thing I have seen. My boss wanted to know what I was laughing at and before you know it the whole damn office is roaring with laughter.\par
    \par
    Great Idea! Those things would sell like hotcakes.[/quote]\par
    \par
    Nice, hey if you click the share this button it will send the post to anyone in your office. Just in case they want to e-mail it out to anyone…\par
    \par
    Yes I am a whore.[/quote]\par
    \par
    \par
    I’d have to charge you 51% of your profits for being your pimp.\par
    Don’t make me get the babypowder.

  12. says:

    [quote comment="3433"]Oooooo, you’re gonna get buckets of hate mail for this one.\par
    \par
    I’ve seen that look before, it’s the one that makes me hide under my bed in terror. I hate sugar rushes.[/quote]\par
    \par
    You think? I don’t know you can hear him laughing his ass off in the video.

  13. says:

    [quote post="617"]Nice, hey if you click the share this button it will send the post to anyone in your office. Just in case they want to e-mail it out to anyone…\par
    \par
    Yes I am a whore.[/[/quote]\par
    quote]\par
    \par
    \par
    I’d have to charge you 51% of your profits for being your pimp.\par
    Don’t make me get the babypowder.

  14. says:

    [quote comment="3434"]LMAO!!! that is like one of those “seen on tv” ads. Wally World is your best bet lol[/quote]\par
    \par
    I know I think we could make a killing on this.

  15. says:

    That is the human equivalent of my mesh bag where I stuff my bras so it doesn’t get snagged in the dryer. lol.

  16. says:

    [quote comment="3435"]They should hand them out at Chuk E Cheeses…I’ve never wanted something like that for my own kids…they know how to act in public but I’ve wanted to “wrangle” a few who don’t![/quote]\par
    \par
    I am thinking about designing one that can be deployed with a gun

  17. says:

    [quote comment="3440"]That is the human equivalent of my mesh bag where I stuff my bras so it doesn’t get snagged in the dryer. lol.[/quote]\par
    \par
    Man I hope this wasn’t used for bras and undies before I dumped him into it

  18. says:

    [quote comment="3436"]\par
    \par
    I’d have to charge you 51% of your profits for being your pimp.\par
    Don’t make me get the babypowder.[/quote]\par
    \par
    whoa… slow down there

  19. says:

    That would be great for my five year old if I could actually catch her. I think I would need a lasso to go with that one, she’s extremely quick and light on her feet. She breaks ankles like Iverson, for real.

  20. says:

    Does it come in XXL?

  21. says:

    [quote comment="3444"]That would be great for my five year old if I could actually catch her. I think I would need a lasso to go with that one, she’s extremely quick and light on her feet. She breaks ankles like Iverson, for real.[/quote]\par
    \par
    you gotta sweep the legs

  22. Anne says:

    My personal favorite is duct tape. I do like your idea, though. That way I don’t have to feel bad wondering if they can breathe or not…

  23. Manictastic says:

    LOL, when will it be available in Belgium? Please say nine months! :P

  24. Well, my husband used to hang ours up on the bedroom door in a sleeping bag and of course we had to continually get up to check and see if they were still breathing. Sooo, this would be an exceptional replacement because of the breathing holes…we could leave them up for hours and never have to leave the couch. I’m in…how much?

  25. Settor41 says:

    For then debtors are permitted to pay back their debts in a much poorer money than they had borrowed, and creditors are swindled out of the money rightfully theirs. ,

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