Comments on: My First Two Nights as Simon Cowell http://pointlessbanter.net/2007/07/14/my-first-two-nights-as-simon-cowell/ Once You Read It You Can't Unread It Fri, 20 Nov 2009 20:23:23 -0600 http://wordpress.org/?v=abc hourly 1 By: <![CDATA[AMANDA!!!]]> http://pointlessbanter.net/2007/07/14/my-first-two-nights-as-simon-cowell/comment-page-1/#comment-12436 Tue, 17 Jul 2007 14:26:33 +0000 http://pointlessbanter.net/2007/07/14/my-first-two-nights-as-simon-cowell/#comment-12436 Did you use a British accent? Just curious. Did you use a British accent? Just curious.

]]> By: <![CDATA[Em Em]]> http://pointlessbanter.net/2007/07/14/my-first-two-nights-as-simon-cowell/comment-page-1/#comment-12435 Mon, 16 Jul 2007 14:05:47 +0000 http://pointlessbanter.net/2007/07/14/my-first-two-nights-as-simon-cowell/#comment-12435 [quote comment="3392"][quote comment="3373"]Simon Cowellish line?\par \par I used to think bunnies screaming was the most disturbing noise in the world until now. =)\par \par I have wanted that man's job since the first time I saw American Idol.[/quote]\par \par Wait, bunnies scream?[/quote]\par \par \par \par yup. [quote comment="3392"][quote comment="3373"]Simon Cowellish line?\par
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I used to think bunnies screaming was the most disturbing noise in the world until now. =)\par
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I have wanted that man’s job since the first time I saw American Idol.[/quote]\par
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Wait, bunnies scream?[/quote]\par
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yup.

]]> By: <![CDATA[Kevin]]> http://pointlessbanter.net/2007/07/14/my-first-two-nights-as-simon-cowell/comment-page-1/#comment-12434 Mon, 16 Jul 2007 01:07:57 +0000 http://pointlessbanter.net/2007/07/14/my-first-two-nights-as-simon-cowell/#comment-12434 [quote comment="3417"]"Simon Cowell-ish Lines"\par \par Okay, I AM gay. And while I'm not British, I AM a drag queen, so it's pretty safe to say that I am at least as qualified as La Cowell's "dish n' chips" delivery to toss off a little shade.\par \par \par 2. I'm sorry. Was I staring? I had to crawl into my "safe place" for a few minutes.\par [/quote]\par \par So many of those were great... but that... that was classic [quote comment="3417"]“Simon Cowell-ish Lines”\par
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Okay, I AM gay. And while I’m not British, I AM a drag queen, so it’s pretty safe to say that I am at least as qualified as La Cowell’s “dish n’ chips” delivery to toss off a little shade.\par
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2. I’m sorry. Was I staring? I had to crawl into my “safe place” for a few minutes.\par
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So many of those were great… but that… that was classic

]]> By: <![CDATA[The Divine Grace]]> http://pointlessbanter.net/2007/07/14/my-first-two-nights-as-simon-cowell/comment-page-1/#comment-12433 Mon, 16 Jul 2007 00:40:59 +0000 http://pointlessbanter.net/2007/07/14/my-first-two-nights-as-simon-cowell/#comment-12433 "Simon Cowell-ish Lines"\par \par Okay, I AM gay. And while I'm not British, I AM a drag queen, so it's pretty safe to say that I am at least as qualified as La Cowell's "dish n' chips" delivery to toss off a little shade.\par \par 1. I'm not going to say that you were awful. I'm going to TELL you that you were awful. That sounded like a half-fucked fox in a forest fire. It was hot, but it was painful.\par \par 2. I'm sorry. Was I staring? I had to crawl into my "safe place" for a few minutes.\par \par 3. If we have learned anything from that powerhouse vocalist known as Whitney Houston, it is... that Crack is whack.\par \par 4. Now what did I ever do to you to deserve that?\par \par 5. You should really have that looked into. You remember where the clinic is, right?\par \par 6. If anybody needs me, I'll be curled up on the floor of my shower, crying and trying to wash the "dirty" out of my brain.\par \par 7. BOR-ING! Courtney Love's brain cells live longer than my interest.\par \par 8. I must have raped nuns or eaten live babies in a past life to sufer through this much hell on earth.\par \par 9. Please tell me that you have found a support group.\par \par 10. (long unflinching stare) Next. “Simon Cowell-ish Lines”\par
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Okay, I AM gay. And while I’m not British, I AM a drag queen, so it’s pretty safe to say that I am at least as qualified as La Cowell’s “dish n’ chips” delivery to toss off a little shade.\par
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1. I’m not going to say that you were awful. I’m going to TELL you that you were awful. That sounded like a half-fucked fox in a forest fire. It was hot, but it was painful.\par
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2. I’m sorry. Was I staring? I had to crawl into my “safe place” for a few minutes.\par
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3. If we have learned anything from that powerhouse vocalist known as Whitney Houston, it is… that Crack is whack.\par
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4. Now what did I ever do to you to deserve that?\par
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5. You should really have that looked into. You remember where the clinic is, right?\par
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6. If anybody needs me, I’ll be curled up on the floor of my shower, crying and trying to wash the “dirty” out of my brain.\par
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7. BOR-ING! Courtney Love’s brain cells live longer than my interest.\par
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8. I must have raped nuns or eaten live babies in a past life to sufer through this much hell on earth.\par
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9. Please tell me that you have found a support group.\par
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10. (long unflinching stare) Next.

]]> By: <![CDATA[elle]]> http://pointlessbanter.net/2007/07/14/my-first-two-nights-as-simon-cowell/comment-page-1/#comment-12432 Sun, 15 Jul 2007 21:31:59 +0000 http://pointlessbanter.net/2007/07/14/my-first-two-nights-as-simon-cowell/#comment-12432 "Except I am not secretly gay."\par \par The first thought that popped into my head was "Oh, you have finally come out of the closet?\par \par As for comments: You know, Pete Townsend has lost part of his hearing from listening to loud music. I envy him.\par \par Or: You know there are warnings that listening to loud music can harm your hearing. But you never see a warning about listening to singing like yours. “Except I am not secretly gay.”\par
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The first thought that popped into my head was “Oh, you have finally come out of the closet?\par
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As for comments: You know, Pete Townsend has lost part of his hearing from listening to loud music. I envy him.\par
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Or: You know there are warnings that listening to loud music can harm your hearing. But you never see a warning about listening to singing like yours.

]]> By: <![CDATA[Tyler]]> http://pointlessbanter.net/2007/07/14/my-first-two-nights-as-simon-cowell/comment-page-1/#comment-12431 Sun, 15 Jul 2007 20:20:27 +0000 http://pointlessbanter.net/2007/07/14/my-first-two-nights-as-simon-cowell/#comment-12431 When a girl sings something and thinks she did really good be like:\par \par Kevin: I have heard some incredible singing in my day. I thought that being a judge of a small talent show would involve me to listen to bad singing. I was wrong, way wrong. \par \par Girl: *giggle* aww thank you Kevin.\par \par Kevin: No wait, let me finish. That was complete shit. I was talking about the previous acts. Goodnight. When a girl sings something and thinks she did really good be like:\par
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Kevin: I have heard some incredible singing in my day. I thought that being a judge of a small talent show would involve me to listen to bad singing. I was wrong, way wrong. \par
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Girl: *giggle* aww thank you Kevin.\par
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Kevin: No wait, let me finish. That was complete shit. I was talking about the previous acts. Goodnight.

]]> By: <![CDATA[sporkgasm]]> http://pointlessbanter.net/2007/07/14/my-first-two-nights-as-simon-cowell/comment-page-1/#comment-12430 Sun, 15 Jul 2007 15:17:27 +0000 http://pointlessbanter.net/2007/07/14/my-first-two-nights-as-simon-cowell/#comment-12430 the "i'm just a gigolo" comment was absolutely wonderful. and i can't help you with the comments. mine come to me on the spot as things happen. i can't think them up outside of the situation. the “i’m just a gigolo” comment was absolutely wonderful. and i can’t help you with the comments. mine come to me on the spot as things happen. i can’t think them up outside of the situation.

]]> By: <![CDATA[Matt]]> http://pointlessbanter.net/2007/07/14/my-first-two-nights-as-simon-cowell/comment-page-1/#comment-12429 Sun, 15 Jul 2007 14:36:24 +0000 http://pointlessbanter.net/2007/07/14/my-first-two-nights-as-simon-cowell/#comment-12429 When I walked in tonight, I thought to myself, "I'm going to hear some amazing singing." I was wrong. I never, ever thought I would say this, but I am envious of Mr. Potato Head. When I walked in tonight, I thought to myself, “I’m going to hear some amazing singing.” I was wrong. I never, ever thought I would say this, but I am envious of Mr. Potato Head.

]]> By: <![CDATA[Kevin]]> http://pointlessbanter.net/2007/07/14/my-first-two-nights-as-simon-cowell/comment-page-1/#comment-12428 Sun, 15 Jul 2007 11:16:04 +0000 http://pointlessbanter.net/2007/07/14/my-first-two-nights-as-simon-cowell/#comment-12428 [quote comment="3384"]\'e2\'80\'9cI always wanted to know what it would sound like to punch a kid with downs syndrome in the jaw, now I know, thanks for that.\'e2\'80\'9d\par \par THAT is the funniest line.[/quote]\par \par I hate to say it but I am actually proud of that one. [quote comment="3384"]\’e2\’80\’9cI always wanted to know what it would sound like to punch a kid with downs syndrome in the jaw, now I know, thanks for that.\’e2\’80\’9d\par
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THAT is the funniest line.[/quote]\par
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I hate to say it but I am actually proud of that one.

]]> By: <![CDATA[Kevin]]> http://pointlessbanter.net/2007/07/14/my-first-two-nights-as-simon-cowell/comment-page-1/#comment-12427 Sun, 15 Jul 2007 11:12:40 +0000 http://pointlessbanter.net/2007/07/14/my-first-two-nights-as-simon-cowell/#comment-12427 [quote comment="3382"]You can ask them if they ever recorded theirselves sing and then listened to it? If they so no, then you say...You couldn't stand it either huh?\par \par [/quote]\par \par now that is a great line [quote comment="3382"]You can ask them if they ever recorded theirselves sing and then listened to it? If they so no, then you say…You couldn’t stand it either huh?\par
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now that is a great line

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