Sports that will turn your daughter into a lesbian
In my in depth analysis of sports, women, and culture I have come to a conclusion that some sports will turn your daughter into a lesbian. (not that there is anything wrong with that)
Here is what I have come up with, a list of safe and unsafe sports for all the parents out there:
gymnastics- Your daughter will basically be kept in a permanent state of pre-teen because she will never get her period, gymnasts are the equivalent of veal. Great sport to get your kid into if you want to keep her as Daddy’s little girl until she is like thirty.
softball- If she plays in the middle infield or center field you are safe, same with pitcher. However if she is the catcher well you may want to starting sniffing the bats in the equipment bag, both ends.
swimming- A safe sport but your daughter will develop a rock hard body and will have no problem showing it off… Right Amanda Beard?
figure skating- see swimming
basketball- If your daughter breaks 5′10″ and starts to play hoops don’t plan on giving a boy the “I have a gun, a shovel, and nobody will miss you” speech. She will be having a lot of “sleep overs” at other girls homes for the rest of her life.
soccer- Soccer and volleyball are the safest team sports. However you aren’t out of the woods on this one, soccer players usually have the most casual of moral attitudes and have very few boundaries. While you may have cleared the lesbian bomb, the dirty whore area is a total possibility.
I would like to add competitive cunnilingus to the list, ever since my daughter started she has been getting gayer and gayer. She is starting to look like Mary Cheney and I have begun to look under her bed for turkey basters.
[...] – Pointlessbanter has gotten me more aware of sports that may turn my daughter into a lesbian. While I don’t [...]
This is exactly why I don’t do sports. And why I don’t have kids.\par
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Not that there’s anything wrong with that, of course !
Laughing hysterically because I was a pitcher for 14 years playing softball and my girlfriend played soccer. We both in college, so I think an important thing to add is if you play in college and how competitive your team was. If you didn’t play women’s college sports, would be surprised in the dramatic difference in the numbers of lesbian and bisexual women athletes between high school/club teams and college teams…
that she likes it rough
I am just finding out about this whole gay in sports thing. My daughter plays softball in HS, looking at colleges for scholarhips. She’s straight. Are all colleges the same on this one? Sounds like a lot get into it during college. Is there a way to not be tempted? How many start straight and stay straight without experimenting? Are all colleges the same?
Well, these are interesting thoughts. I think they are true. However, everything is
relative and ambiguous to my mind.
Personally i think that this notion is ridiculous. If you think that its the sport that makes your daughter gay you obviously don’t know her very well. Whether she plays sports or not, if she is gay she is gay! i play three sports, basketball, volleyball and i run track. i am 16 and 5′11 and guess what I am straight! every girl on all my teams are completely boy crazy! Your theory is only relative to the child in question.
i like fuck one blonde and bony and young girl