My Personal Seven Wonders
Apparently there was some voting for the new seven wonders of the world this past weekend. Isn’t there like already 200 different seven wonders of the world list anyways? Is this really significant news?
In the spirit of this poll I decided to publicly release my personal seven wonders of the world, limiting my list to places I have ever been, since I haven’t been to China or South America some of the popular choices have been omitted:
The Largest McDonalds in the United States: It sits over a freeway somewhere in Oklahoma I believe. At one point it was the largest McDonalds in the world until the Russians built a huge one in Moscow, damn those former communist bastards.
That one pink house on the street: I used to live in a small town in Western, NY and most people owned these very nice colonial style homes. The neighborhoods were prim and proper with everyone having a well maintained lawn to go with their house and white picket fence. Of course there was one person that had to stand out and they painted their house a scorching color of pink, which is just really funny to me.
Any shopping plaza with a dollar store and a wal-mart: How can you jam that much trash in such a small area?
The State University of New York at Albany: I think I covered this before, the school was originally designed for Arizona. The archways and outdoor corridors were designed to create an cooling airflow that would combat the high temperatures of the south west. Pretty nifty idea and design concept if you ask me, well except when you apply it to a school in Upstate New York in the dead of winter. Instead of a cooling effect you have a wind tunnel that knocks people on their feet, hurls garbage at you like shrapnel, and makes it impossible to wear a hat.
The giant ball of yarn: What more can you ask for?
That huge ass three floor strip club in Vegas: Three floors of naughty girls waiting to flirt with me and take all of my money? It is like a giant pick pocket, it doesn’t get any better than that.
Combo fast food places: A Taco Bell and a KFC together? That is true engineering genius, where else can you get buttery biscuits and a chicken soft taco in the same place? This is a true testament to American ingenuity and our quest to eat as many calories in a day as an entire African village.
So there you have it, personally I think my list is a little more well rounded than what people voted on, but whatever…
What would you list as a random Seven Wonder of the World? (give me one or give me seven whatever you feel like)
On 07/9/07 at 6:40 am
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The flaw in calling them the “wonders” is the definition of “wonder” we choose to ascribe too. They’re talking about “awe” wonder. I’m talking about “what the hell?” wonder. It’s different. So here’s my 7.\par
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1. The glass museum in my city- hailed as some kind of international idea of greatness, it is truly one of the bigger disappointing projects our city has taken on.\par
2. Detroit- why? Because it’s our own little third world country within a country (kidding, Detrotians or whatever)\par
3. Neverland Ranch- though no longer the stomping grounds of MJ, one has to wonder how so many children were allowed there unsupervised and why. Paycheck from a lawsuit anyone?\par
4. Canada- America junior (they LOVE being called that by the way). You know, the languages, the non army. Canadians have upsidedown faces…all of it qualifies really.\par
5. The new viewing platform at the grand canyon- because I want to see what happens if people stand out there during an earthquake.\par
6. Disneyworld- Because it’s the home of Mickey Mouse. Duh.\par
7. This comment- because it is one of the longest damn things ever. =)
On 07/9/07 at 6:43 am
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The UFO Welcome Center in Bowman, SC. Check it out http://www.roadsideamerica.com/tips/getAttraction.php?tip_AttractionNo==1158
On 07/9/07 at 6:49 am
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- The White House, for the mere fact that for the last 7 years it has served as the world’s most expensive Monkey House, like those ones at the zoo only older and nicer.\par
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- Something Special Coffee House, Laurel, MD. (I’m only saying that because it’s the business I want to buy. Imagine the publicity….)\par
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- Kevin’s blog. Duh.
On 07/9/07 at 6:51 am
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I would add a subcategory to number one and add the original McDonalds in Des Plaines, IL… it’s pretty nifty now, it’s been turned into a sort of museum with 50’s era cars outside of it… Wouldn’t you want to make that a part of your vacation?
On 07/9/07 at 6:52 am
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Cher’s face…so many plastic surgeries and it’s still standing!!!
On 07/9/07 at 7:00 am
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I have actually been to that McDonald’s in Vinita, Oklahoma.\par
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I think I would add the Big Dam Bridge in Little Rock, Arkansas, one of my favorite places!
On 07/9/07 at 7:04 am
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that weird ass building shaped like an armadillo\par
it seems such an odd animal to think of\par
Alton Towers in the midlands of UK\par
anything which costs that much to run must be good\par
and that hotel i stayed in with my school trip just to see if 1.the safe is still broke\par
2. the cupboard which holds the safe is still broke\par
and3. to see if they ever went into the ‘vomit closet’\par
that is all
On 07/9/07 at 7:11 am
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I nominate Round Rock, Cattlewash Beach, Barbados. Why? Because it’s a huge ass rock sitting on the beach with a flag pole and every now and then someone gets drunk and runs underwear up the pole. \par
That, and watching the sun rise over the Atlantic Ocean sitting on a rock with no one around for miles is magical.
On 07/9/07 at 7:12 am
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Wall Drugs in South Dakota!!!\par
A billion bumper stickers can’t be wrong!!
On 07/9/07 at 7:14 am
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I have an even better one than your KFC/Taco Bell combo and that is a KFC/Taco Bell Buffet. I swear to god they are real because my friends and I saw 2 of them while driving back from our vacation this past week. We didn’t stop in but our mission is to find one close to us and check it out.
On 07/9/07 at 7:20 am
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A couple of New York Centric ones…the Apple Store on 59th Street and Fifth Avenue and it’s open 24/7…nerds rejoice.\par
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Of course, Scores. What’s good for Howard Stern is good for…who am I kidding? $30 just to get in…that’s a wonder how it’s still in business…\par
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Non-NY one, the Mall of America…shop till you drop and then crawl into a Hooters when you’re done…all in one building!
On 07/9/07 at 7:21 am
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Steven Segal… with that many dumbass movies, they still call him an actor? who would of thunk it…..
On 07/9/07 at 7:28 am
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[quote comment="3008"]\par
6. Disneyworld- Because it’s the home of Mickey Mouse. Duh.\par
[/quote]\par
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Fuck Disneyworld… Disneyland is where it is at.
On 07/9/07 at 7:29 am
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1. Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles….who knew that two seemingly unrelated items would go so well together?\par
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2. The legless skateboarder on the Venice Beach Boardwalk…don’t make eye contact or he’ll follow you!\par
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3. Sister Johnson’s mole…my mom’s friend that she goes to church with. Has a mole on her chin that rivals that of John Boy’s on “The Waltons”\par
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4. The 400 pound lady in purple spandex. I see her every time I take my morning walk. I’m a big girl myself, and obviously she hasn’t taken to the saying “Spandex is NOT your friend.”\par
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5. Mr. Jogger….he’s about 65 or so, and you’ve got to admire a guy who jogs faster than guys half his age…only problem is that every time he passes me in those jogging shorts….his family jewels wave hello….eeeewwwwww!!!!\par
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6. Brian’s Restaurant…it looks like something out of the Jetsons, but no where else in San Diego can you get a hamburger with Peanut Butter on it.\par
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7. My friend Sarah’s old apartment: It was located on a hill that overlooked the Pacific Ocean in Downtown San Diego. Across the street at a certain time of day you could see into this guy’s apartment while he did the “Buffalo Bill” thing a la “Silence of the Lambs. Thankfully she moved shortly after that…..
On 07/9/07 at 7:33 am
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very funny, especially the state university at ny…
On 07/9/07 at 7:33 am
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[quote comment="3009"]The UFO Welcome Center in Bowman, SC. Check it out http://www.roadsideamerica.com/tips/getAttraction.php?tip_AttractionNo==1158/quote\par
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Oh my that is quality
On 07/9/07 at 7:37 am
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[quote comment="3010"]\par
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- Kevin’s blog. Duh.[/quote]\par
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Wow my blog and the White House… I don’t know if that is a good thing or a bad thing
On 07/9/07 at 7:47 am
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Loved the second review Kev, a wall-hanger to be sure. I was rather disgusted and disappointed to hear of the “new” seven wonders poll. If you let people vote for their favorite “wonder” you run the risk of getting a lot of unspectacular shit. Granted, Petra is damned impressive and deserves inclusion, but to dump the Acropolis and the Sophia Hagia while letting the whiny bitch Egyptians keep the pyramids of Giza? WTF?!? All for some Jesus statues…don’t even get me started.\par
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My seven wonders are less tangible:\par
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1. Human stupidity. \par
2. The insane popularity of Frank Lloyd Wright houses.\par
3. The thought process behind drive-through beer distributors.\par
4. Orgasms.\par
5. Gene therapy on mice to give rodents night vision (pirated from owl DNA). It’s just sadistic.\par
6. Thinking of sadists - Dontien-Alphonse-Francois de Sade. Anyone that fucked up that didn’t act 110% on what came out of his brain, truly a marvel.\par
7. Water spiders. Seriously. They freak me the hell out on too many levels not to be a phenomana worthy of study and awe. Mostly the net terror on my part but hey, this is my list.
On 07/9/07 at 7:52 am
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[quote comment="3017"]Wall Drugs in South Dakota!!!\par
A billion bumper stickers can’t be wrong!![/quote]\par
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and billboards!!!!
On 07/9/07 at 7:55 am
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Hey, the CDP got a 4.25 average on the Web Log Review, too! Combined, that’s like an 8.5 or something! We own that page.\par
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If I could pick the New 7 Wonders, I’d put Ric Flair on the list, somehow.
On 07/9/07 at 8:24 am
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Any Waffle House in the country. Especially next to a Dollar Store and A Wal-Mart.
On 07/9/07 at 8:46 am
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[quote comment="3031"]Hey, the CDP got a 4.25 average on the Web Log Review, too! Combined, that’s like an 8.5 or something! We own that page.\par
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If I could pick the New 7 Wonders, I’d put Ric Flair on the list, somehow.[/quote]\par
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yeah I saw you on there and dropped in a rating… we totally can take over the world… \par
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Woooooooooooooooooooooooo \par
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I am going to go style and profile now.
On 07/9/07 at 9:16 am
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[quote comment="3012"]I would add a subcategory to number one and add the original McDonalds in Des Plaines, IL… it’s pretty nifty now, it’s been turned into a sort of museum with 50’s era cars outside of it… Wouldn’t you want to make that a part of your vacation?[/quote]\par
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Do they charge the same prices as the 50s?
On 07/9/07 at 9:20 am
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[quote comment="3013"]Cher’s face…so many plastic surgeries and it’s still standing!!![/quote]\par
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That is pure art
On 07/9/07 at 11:11 am
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hehe ironic how an american symbol such as McDonalds is bigger in a country other then america ^_^
On 07/9/07 at 11:20 am
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[quote comment="3014"]I have actually been to that McDonald’s in Vinita, Oklahoma.\par
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I think I would add the Big Dam Bridge in Little Rock, Arkansas, one of my favorite places![/quote]\par
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I have been to that McDonald’s as well on my first drive cross country.
On 07/9/07 at 11:21 am
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[quote comment="3037"]hehe ironic how an american symbol such as McDonalds is bigger in a country other then america ^_^[/quote]\par
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I know it is kind of funny huh?
On 07/9/07 at 11:22 am
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[quote comment="3015"]to see if they ever went into the ‘vomit closet’\par
that is all[/quote]\par
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I don’t know if I want to know
On 07/9/07 at 11:23 am
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[quote comment="3016"]I nominate Round Rock, Cattlewash Beach, Barbados. Why? Because it’s a huge ass rock sitting on the beach with a flag pole and every now and then someone gets drunk and runs underwear up the pole.\par
That, and watching the sun rise over the Atlantic Ocean sitting on a rock with no one around for miles is magical.[/quote]\par
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Sunrise or underwear… sunrise or underwear… sunrise or underwear
On 07/9/07 at 11:25 am
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[quote comment="3017"]Wall Drugs in South Dakota!!!\par
A billion bumper stickers can’t be wrong!![/quote]\par
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That is billion with a b? damn
On 07/9/07 at 11:25 am
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[quote comment="3018"]I have an even better one than your KFC/Taco Bell combo and that is a KFC/Taco Bell Buffet. I swear to god they are real because my friends and I saw 2 of them while driving back from our vacation this past week. We didn’t stop in but our mission is to find one close to us and check it out.[/quote]\par
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Wait a Buffet? What the hell? I am disgusted and amused all at the same time.
On 07/9/07 at 11:27 am
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[quote comment="3019"]A couple of New York Centric ones…the Apple Store on 59th Street and Fifth Avenue and it’s open 24/7…nerds rejoice.\par
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Of course, Scores. What’s good for Howard Stern is good for…who am I kidding? $30 just to get in…that’s a wonder how it’s still in business…\par
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Non-NY one, the Mall of America…shop till you drop and then crawl into a Hooters when you’re done…all in one building![/quote]\par
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Tittie Bars cost twenty bucks to get into here… I can see thirty in NYC
On 07/9/07 at 11:28 am
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[quote comment="3023"]Steven Segal… with that many dumbass movies, they still call him an actor?\par
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who would of thunk it…..[/quote]\par
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Why do all of his movies have three word titles?
On 07/9/07 at 11:29 am
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Where I live we have a combo KFC, Taco Bell, and Pizza Hut.\par
They basically put Mickey D’s and BK out of business.\par
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I think its the most frequented place in our town. Not that thats saying much.
On 07/9/07 at 11:31 am
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[quote comment="3025"]1. Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles….who knew that two seemingly unrelated items would go so well together?\par
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[/quote]\par
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I need to eat there before I leave LA
On 07/9/07 at 11:33 am
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[quote comment="3029"]L\par
4. Orgasms.\par
[/quote]\par
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too bad women can’t have those
On 07/9/07 at 11:34 am
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[quote comment="3047"]Where I live we have a combo KFC, Taco Bell, and Pizza Hut.\par
They basically put Mickey D’s and BK out of business.\par
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I think its the most frequented place in our town. Not that thats saying much.[/quote]\par
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A three headed monster of fatty goodness
On 07/9/07 at 12:18 pm
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I would have to put in Syracuse’s Destiny project… they can’t even sustain the store’s they have now and they want to make it the biggest mall in America. Syracuse will end up with the mall with the most empty store fronts. Hell, we couldn’t even keep in a Hooters when there are only 2 other sit down restaurants in the mall. When Hooters doesn’t make it, you know there are problems.
On 07/9/07 at 12:22 pm
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I have seven wonders (erogenous zones)….
On 07/9/07 at 12:40 pm
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[quote comment="3054"]I have seven wonders (erogenous zones)….[/quote]\par
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All located around your balloon knot
On 07/9/07 at 12:48 pm
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What I consider to be 7 wonders…\par
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1. Lycra\par
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2. Any phone that doesn’t require a cord. Still amazes me.\par
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3. The Worlds Largest Frying Pan - Wilmington Delaware.\par
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4. Delaware for that matter. Does it REALLY exist?\par
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5. Coldstone Creamery (hence the lycra)\par
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6. Any Cracker Barrell at any time serving Chicken and Dumplings.\par
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7. My Great Grandmothers house. The only home in the world that the contents were completely covered in plastic. Everything. Yes, That too.
On 07/9/07 at 12:52 pm
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The 2 that we saw were on route 15 going through PA. I wish we had taken a picture of the sign.
On 07/9/07 at 1:33 pm
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[quote comment="3024"][quote comment="3008"]\par
6. Disneyworld- Because it’s the home of Mickey Mouse. Duh.\par
[/quote]\par
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Fuck Disneyworld… Disneyland is where it is at.[/quote]\par
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I’ve only actually been to Disneyland but I didn’t list it because I heard that the Mickey Mouse is a Mexican there. (Hahaha, I love Dave Chappelle)
On 07/9/07 at 4:39 pm
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Kevin i think you missed the point, its wonders of the WORLD not the united states trashy idea of lawn ornaments
On 07/9/07 at 5:42 pm
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I have a couple…\par
My home town of New Orleans gives us:\par
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Huge Ass Beer…Nough Said\par
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Mrs. Cleo’s House of Nails and Fried Chicken - This was actually wipped out in Katrina…but it deserves love…you could get a 12 piece bucket and pedicure in one spot…GENUS!!!
On 07/9/07 at 5:42 pm
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Genius even LOL
On 07/9/07 at 6:02 pm
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Those damn communists. First we had an arms race with them, now we’re going to have a Biggest McDonald’s race. George Bush doesn’t put up with this kind of shit, and he’s got an itchy trigger-finger.
On 07/9/07 at 7:09 pm
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[quote post="605"]orgasms…too bad women can\’e2\’80\’99t have those[/quote]\par
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*hinky eyed look* says who? They are lying to you. I have them, regularly, enthusiastically. I think you need a new partner.
On 07/9/07 at 7:35 pm
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I would have to say that one good one would be any Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd America. Always a great place to hang out and see how many liquor stores you can count.
On 07/9/07 at 9:54 pm
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GREAT fuckin idea for a blog. I’m pissed I didn’t think of this
On 07/11/07 at 9:27 am
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You know, there are advantages to living in a pink house. Once you get past the laughter, it’s really easy to give directions. “We’re easy to find - it’s the pink house on the right. You can’t miss it”\par
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Yeah, I lived in a pink house for a few years before it got re-sided to white. ;)\par
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Sephyroth\par
http://www.sephyroth.net
On 10/8/07 at 10:53 pm
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I’ve been to that McDonalds!