I have been lurking around various blogging forums on the internet to offer up advice or to learn some things in areas I don’t know a lot about. One of the things I have stumbled across is bloggers using a website called Pay Per Post. Basically pay per post pays you to write a review on various topics that are sponsored by companies, the thing is you can’t write anything negative about them.
So it really isn’t a review really, it is more of a pimping of a product that you don’t have to have a whole hell of a lot of knowledge on. When I started looking into this I saw that they were offering some decent money for some of these posts, but I kind of got sick to my stomach thinking about doing anything with it. First of all I would totally lose any credibility that I had…
Wait do I even have credibility? That is another subject for another day.
When I looked at some of the blogs that were posting these reviews, a ton of them were total garbage. I mean I don’t think I am Billy Shakespeare by any stretch of the imagination, my writing isn’t all that great but compared to some of these posts I looked like a genius.
I decided to sign up for it and post reviews but totally go off on a tangent or destroy the product, hoping that the review would slip through and I would get paid. But of course my blog didn’t get approved because, well… I mean I just interviewed a porn star and I talked about a sweater knitted out of pubic hair.
This got me thinking though, why do I need a company to do this? Hell, why even stop at products when I could do even more? So I am now offering a service, for ten bucks I will write whatever you need, this includes:
-letters of recommendation for work or school
-love letters to make someone jealous
-your resume
-evaluations of you in bed
-prescriptions
-wedding vows
-any legal depositions that you may need
Sure, I might hardly know you and I am totally ill qualified to write any of these for you but what the hell? If it works for Pay Per Post it works for me…
In fact I recently had my first customer… Donkeysosa of Donkeysosa.com.
He was bucking for a new promotion at work, for those of you who don’t know he works in a nuclear power plant in a town called Springfield. For this promotion he needed to submit a few letters of recommendation, he realized that he was one short, so he tossed me ten bucks and I wrote this little ditty up for him.
To whom it may concern,
Yo, this dude Donk is good peoplezz (the extra z is for extra good). I know he wants to get a dope ass job with you and there is no reason why you can’t promote him.
I worked with him for many years and he never slept with my wife or came to work drunk, like that asshole Johnson that is also applying for the job.
In closing I would like to also tell you he told me that he would take a shot in the mouth in order to get a promotion.
Sincerely,
That Big Guy That Nobody Likes to Follow into the Bathroom at Work
That was the easiest ten dollars I ever made. Plus I didn’t do anything that would give it away that I don’t ACTUALLY work with him, I know it is brilliant.
So step forward, do you need me to take care of anything for you?
Does pay per post sound like the biggest crock of shit ever? Also would you pay me ten bucks to write anything for you?
This is a GREAT post!
10 dollars?\par
its a stealsign me up for them all
Great blog once again! It sucks that your blog didn’t make it through, I would have loved to read about the product you wrote about, and what your review was of it.
[quote comment="2750"]This is a GREAT post![/quote]\par
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Thanks
[quote comment="2751"]10 dollars?\par
its a steal sign me up for them all[/quote]\par
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What prescription do you want?
Its blogging prostitution, I say! “Hey Baby…want to feel my pencil lead for $10?”\par
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But its you…so yeah…I would totally pay $10 to get a personalized feel of your lead. \par
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just sayin…
I would pay you $10 to write a doctor’s note for me when I need a mental health day (yeah, I wrote mental health day!)
[quote comment="2752"]Great blog once again! It sucks that your blog didn’t make it through, I would have loved to read about the product you wrote about, and what your review was of it.[/quote]\par
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I know I was looking forward to wiping my ass with some of the stuff they have on there
[quote comment="2755"]Its blogging prostitution, I say! “Hey Baby…want to feel my pencil lead for $10?”\par
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But its you…so yeah…I would totally pay $10 to get a personalized feel of your lead.\par
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just sayin…[/quote]\par
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It is blogging prostitution or payola… you want to feel my lead? Are you going to follow?
[quote comment="2756"]I would pay you $10 to write a doctor’s note for me when I need a mental health day (yeah, I wrote mental health day!)[/quote]\par
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Oh that would be fun… \par
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“like is she going all crazy and shit (medical term) so give this bitch (scientific term) a dayz off….”
[quote comment="2758"][quote comment="2755"]Its blogging prostitution, I say! “Hey Baby…want to feel my pencil lead for $10?”\par
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But its you…so yeah…I would totally pay $10 to get a personalized feel of your lead.\par
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just sayin…[/quote]\par
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It is blogging prostitution or payola… you want to feel my lead? Are you going to follow?[/quote]\par
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crap! That’s what I get for trying to be witty in the AM. er…led.
I know what you meant, I just felt like busting your balls with my led
Hmmm do you do eulogies? I mean nobody likes to write their own speeches for funerals… Oh, and I wouldn’t feel bad comparing yourself to old Billy Shakespeare, I bet those other guys can’t even use “blumpkin” in proper context.
I’ll take a prescription for morphine… and an evaluation of me in bed.
Ooooh I TOTALLY want the love letter to make somebody jealous!!!! It’s got to be good though - I don’t go for the mushy romantic type…\par
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I recently removed a blog from my reader because they were posting 4 times a day (3 for pay-per-post) and it was annoying me!
What if I wanted you to combine two items? For instance, if I needed you to write a letter of recommendation that would also act as a love letter to make the person jealous? Would that only be $10 or would it be $20? I am just trying to figure out my options here.\par
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Great post by the way. I think Pay Per Post has its place for people interested in making some money, but I certainly feel that it cheapens the credibility of the writer.
Wow, where do I sign up?
[quote comment="2765"]Hmmm do you do eulogies? I mean nobody likes to write their own speeches for funerals… Oh, and I wouldn’t feel bad comparing yourself to old Billy Shakespeare, I bet those other guys can’t even use “blumpkin” in proper context.[/quote]\par
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I know it takes a true craftsmen to use blumpkin correctly
[quote comment="2766"]I’ll take a prescription for morphine… and an evaluation of me in bed.[/quote]\par
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Could we combine the two?
[quote comment="2767"]Ooooh I TOTALLY want the love letter to make somebody jealous!!!! It’s got to be good though - I don’t go for the mushy romantic type…\par
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I recently removed a blog from my reader because they were posting 4 times a day (3 for pay-per-post) and it was annoying me![/quote]\par
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No mushy and romantic? So you want the dirty and obscene route?\par
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Honestly if I go to a blog and see pay per post entries I stop reading right there. It tells me all I need to know.
[quote comment="2768"]What if I wanted you to combine two items? For instance, if I needed you to write a letter of recommendation that would also act as a love letter to make the person jealous? Would that only be $10 or would it be $20? I am just trying to figure out my options here.\par
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Great post by the way. I think Pay Per Post has its place for people interested in making some money, but I certainly feel that it cheapens the credibility of the writer.[/quote]\par
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Yeah I think we need a sliding scale here… Maybe 2 for 1 but then 3 for twenty… \par
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I used to agree with you that it has a place but the more I think about it the more it sticks in my craw. What if you open the newspaper and the movie review person only gave good reviews because he was getting paid to do so? \par
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When you call him out, he then justifies it with “well for the ones I don’t agree with I just don’t review.”\par
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Like that makes it morally correct?
[quote comment="2769"]Wow, where do I sign up?[/quote]\par
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Maybe I need to make a form or a really long and drawn out application
HA! A little town called Springfield my bum! Almost every state has a Springfield, whomever “named the cities” apparently got bored with their job and started randomly putting Springfield everywhere to make up for their lack of creativity.
[quote comment="2776"]HA! A little town called Springfield my bum! Almost every state has a Springfield, whomever “named the cities” apparently got bored with their job and started randomly putting Springfield everywhere to make up for their lack of creativity.[/quote]\par
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I know the Donk in real life he is slightly protective of his true identity because of the job he has. I figured that was the best way to explain what he does… although he actually works for a fortune 500 company in an executive position doing NOTHING all day.
Isn’t all sales a form of prostitution?
[quote comment="2779"]Isn’t all sales a form of prostitution?[/quote]\par
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so am I a pimp or a hoe
sure. you let it slip that the donk is actually Homer, then you double back and say he’s a fortune 500 guy…you and Groening have something on the side, don’t you?!
[quote comment="2781"]sure. you let it slip that the donk is actually Homer, then you double back and say he’s a fortune 500 guy…you and Groening have something on the side, don’t you?![/quote]\par
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If you only knew… if you only knew
[quote comment="2780"][quote comment="2779"]Isn’t all sales a form of prostitution?[/quote]\par
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so am I a pimp or a hoe[/quote]\par
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deffinately a hoe, and for 10 dolla, a pretty cheap one too.
I like the letter of recommendation. My fav. part was the peoplezz. I wonder would a company actually take a letter of recommendation if it had yo, this dude Donk is good peoplezz.\par
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But anyway. I would have you write something if I was wanting to play a joke on someone…haha.
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deffinately a hoe, and for 10 dolla, a pretty cheap one too.[/quote]\par
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I walked right into that one… damn
[quote comment="2785"]I like the letter of recommendation. My fav. part was the peoplezz. I wonder would a company actually take a letter of recommendation if it had yo, this dude Donk is good peoplezz.\par
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But anyway. I would have you write something if I was wanting to play a joke on someone…haha.[/quote]\par
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Peoplezz just sounds official
please do write my letter of recommendation for a promotion that i am up for
You are selling yourself too cheaply Kev. I get $75 per English Lit term paper. And for those college students who aren’t good writers and face losing scholaship money, it’s $125 for midterm review and end of term paper with $25 a opo for papers on the fly (have to provide me with a copy of the reading list and if I don’t have the books - those too). No plagarism, all citations properly noted and presented in font and layout of the professor’s choice. I do, however, charge more for the instance of you getting called to the dean of students for the department as the prof glows in joy wanting to hear what inspired you. A write up of how I picked which reference and why and the underlaying thought processes nets me another $50. I’ve gotten no less than eight folks through three different colleges in English Lit. But I’m a true book nerd and enjoy the challenge, as well as the money.
Pay per post. What type of products? And do you get free samples? I bet Bush would pay you to write his speeches.
Selling our souls just seemed to have gotten easier. I can’t believe you’re even thinking this. Even considering it. Horrid.\par
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By the way, Jiffee(c) Cleaners would get that stain off your honour. Jiffee, the cleaner’s cleaner. ($10 please!)
I think you will find your soul stays intact after you join up. As long as you have some integrity and only post about what you want to, what applies to your blog, and write honestly (not all reviews must be glowing ones) you’ll find it works well.
[quote comment="2793"]Selling our souls just seemed to have gotten easier. I can’t believe you’re even thinking this. Even considering it. Horrid.\par
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By the way, Jiffee(c) Cleaners would get that stain off your honour. Jiffee, the cleaner’s cleaner. ($10 please!)[/quote]\par
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I looked into it to learn about it and then when I saw what it was I knew I had moral problems with it.
[quote comment="2795"](not all reviews must be glowing ones)[/quote]\par
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But they can’t be negative… they can be middle of the road but never negative. At that point is it a review anymore? Is it just schilling.
[quote comment="2792"]Pay per post. What type of products? And do you get free samples? I bet Bush would pay you to write his speeches.[/quote]\par
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No, no free samples… I could write a Bush speech, you just repeat a key phrase like 30 times
[quote comment="2790"]please do write my letter of recommendation for a promotion that i am up for :)[/quote]\par
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What “position” are you applying for?
[quote comment="2791"]You are selling yourself too cheaply Kev. I get $75 per English Lit term paper.[/quote]\par
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Hey I am just trying to shit stuff out in ten minutes, much like these blogs.
PPP was great at first. I used it to get me through college by posting 3 paid posts a day for 7 days straight, I was racking up the income.\par
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Then they went to this system where if you didn’t have a pagerank 3 or higher, you weren’t eligible to take high dollar offers.\par
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So they basically said F* You to the little guy.\par
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So now I barely use them. \par
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Plus, to date, I’ve never blogged for them about ANYTHING that I loved.\par
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So they are lying about their tag line.\par
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If your site is page rank 5 to 10 you can earn a lot…\par
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If you are not, then don’t bother.
[quote comment="2802"]\par
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Plus, to date, I’ve never blogged for them about ANYTHING that I loved.\par
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So they are lying about their tag line.\par
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Exactly
Nice Link-Baiting! I give you an A+.
[quote comment="2804"]Nice Link-Baiting! I give you an A+.[/quote]\par
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LOL, yeah that was really the goal.
I need a jealousy letter of recommendation. Is that extra?
[quote comment="2806"]I need a jealousy letter of recommendation. Is that extra?[/quote]\par
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So a letter of recommendation to make someone jealous?
Well, now that you put it that way, it doesn’t sound as good. I was just trying to give you a challenge.
@Melissa\par
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I hope you spell check before you charge them all that money.
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@Kevin\par
“What if you open the newspaper and the movie review person only gave good reviews because he was getting paid to do so?”\par
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You think that “journalists” don’t get paid to give favourable coverage for products and services? Which world are you living in ‘cos it sure ain’t this one. PPP is just the latest extension of something that’s been happening in traditional print media for donkey’s years - companies paying to get their products featured editorially. It’s here, and it’s not just PPP doing it, so we’re all going to have to get used to it.\par
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I notice a lot of advertising on this blog; fair enough, it’s all upfront and some PPP Posties don’t disclose like they should, but to me it has the same effect. You’ve monetized your blog, and that’s all the Postie’s are doing.
I have an article I need written for my other job. You want to write that for me? \par
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Oh, and if that stupid white man’s picture comes up… Well, I don’t know what I’m going to do other than find him and shove a leftover roman candle up his ass.