The Suburban Golf Cart
Newsflash. If you own any of the following “suburban golf carts:”
then you are a FUCKING DOUCHEBAG. These pointless, vanity-driven toys are the scourge of my neighborhood. I see the special brand of suburban, middle-class white trash that inhabits my part of town driving these all over the sidestreets. Hey assholes: that’s what they invented the car for over 100 years ago.
This is the same kind of loser that owns a $1,000 remote controlled car, a $20,000 boat they take out once a year, and probably one of those beer helmet things. They’re doubtless tens of thousands of dollars in debt, but they can afford to buy A GOLFCART THAT LOOKS LIKE A HUMMER. Dude, we get it, you think you have a big penis.
The Suburban Golfcart: For the Slightly Slow Child in All of Us
On 07/5/07 at 6:29 am
Ashley said:
Golf carts are way old-fashioned. However if I had the money, I would surely ride around the streets of St. Louis on a 4-wheeler.
They’re faster (better to run people over); cheaper; and you have to know at least the basics of mechanics because the damn things break down between every use!
Oh yeah, that’s the dream
On 07/5/07 at 1:24 pm
femchauvinist74 said:
Next thing you know, Xzibit will show up at your door and want to Pimp Your Golfcart….hmmmm….Maybe that’ll be the only way I’d own a Hummer.
On 07/5/07 at 3:35 pm
Karl Rove said:
So what’s the gas mileage for one of those things?
Seriously, if someone in my neighborhood got one of those things, they’d get a quick ass-kicking, followed by their golf cart being stolen and completely destroyed beyond recognition. Nobody would put up with one of those around here.
On 07/5/07 at 8:51 pm
De Lyn said:
pushing all my beer helmets WAY under the bed…
Can we still be friends because I don’t own any of those other things?
On 07/5/07 at 9:07 pm
AMANDA said:
I like the one that looks like a Hummer! ME WANT!
On 07/5/07 at 9:32 pm
donkeysosa said:
[quote comment="2619"]Golf carts are way old-fashioned. However if I had the money, I would surely ride around the streets of St. Louis on a 4-wheeler.
They’re faster (better to run people over); cheaper; and you have to know at least the basics of mechanics because the damn things break down between every use!
Oh yeah, that’s the dream :P[/quote]
Fine, just as long as it doesn’t look like a Hummer
On 07/5/07 at 9:34 pm
donkeysosa said:
[quote comment="2625"]So what’s the gas mileage for one of those things?
Seriously, if someone in my neighborhood got one of those things, they’d get a quick ass-kicking, followed by their golf cart being stolen and completely destroyed beyond recognition. Nobody would put up with one of those around here.[/quote]
I guess there are some good things about living in the middle of nowhere, huh?
On 07/5/07 at 9:35 pm
donkeysosa said:
[quote comment="2626"]pushing all my beer helmets WAY under the bed…
Can we still be friends because I don’t own any of those other things?[/quote]
Sure…but I’m keeping an eye on you
On 07/5/07 at 9:36 pm
donkeysosa said:
[quote comment="2628"]I like the one that looks like a Hummer! ME WANT![/quote]
UGH
On 07/8/07 at 4:54 pm
Jill said:
No Donk dudes have them are usually compensating for a small penis.