The Suburban Golf Cart
Newsflash. If you own any of the following “suburban golf carts:”
then you are a FUCKING DOUCHEBAG. These pointless, vanity-driven toys are the scourge of my neighborhood. I see the special brand of suburban, middle-class white trash that inhabits my part of town driving these all over the sidestreets. Hey assholes: that’s what they invented the car for over 100 years ago.
This is the same kind of loser that owns a $1,000 remote controlled car, a $20,000 boat they take out once a year, and probably one of those beer helmet things. They’re doubtless tens of thousands of dollars in debt, but they can afford to buy A GOLFCART THAT LOOKS LIKE A HUMMER. Dude, we get it, you think you have a big penis.
The Suburban Golfcart: For the Slightly Slow Child in All of Us
Golf carts are way old-fashioned. However if I had the money, I would surely ride around the streets of St. Louis on a 4-wheeler.
They’re faster (better to run people over); cheaper; and you have to know at least the basics of mechanics because the damn things break down between every use!
Oh yeah, that’s the dream
Next thing you know, Xzibit will show up at your door and want to Pimp Your Golfcart….hmmmm….Maybe that’ll be the only way I’d own a Hummer.
So what’s the gas mileage for one of those things?
Seriously, if someone in my neighborhood got one of those things, they’d get a quick ass-kicking, followed by their golf cart being stolen and completely destroyed beyond recognition. Nobody would put up with one of those around here.
pushing all my beer helmets WAY under the bed…
Can we still be friends because I don’t own any of those other things?
I like the one that looks like a Hummer! ME WANT!
[quote comment="2619"]Golf carts are way old-fashioned. However if I had the money, I would surely ride around the streets of St. Louis on a 4-wheeler.
They’re faster (better to run people over); cheaper; and you have to know at least the basics of mechanics because the damn things break down between every use!
Oh yeah, that’s the dream
[/quote]
Fine, just as long as it doesn’t look like a Hummer
[quote comment="2625"]So what’s the gas mileage for one of those things?
Seriously, if someone in my neighborhood got one of those things, they’d get a quick ass-kicking, followed by their golf cart being stolen and completely destroyed beyond recognition. Nobody would put up with one of those around here.[/quote]
I guess there are some good things about living in the middle of nowhere, huh?
[quote comment="2626"]pushing all my beer helmets WAY under the bed…
Can we still be friends because I don’t own any of those other things?[/quote]
Sure…but I’m keeping an eye on you
[quote comment="2628"]I like the one that looks like a Hummer! ME WANT![/quote]
UGH
No Donk dudes have them are usually compensating for a small penis.