I have a stalker and it is NOT what it is cracked up to be
I have to admit it, I kind of always wanted a stalker. Maybe that is a little sick, a little twisted but deep down inside I wanted to have one. Not the type that is going to randomly show up at my door hit me in the head with a shovel and do nasty things to my groggy body, I just wanted someone that made you stop and go, “What the…”
For example, it would be cool if some girl was like, “Kevin I want to send you a sweater for Christmas.” Then I get it in the mail and it is made up of pubic hair she had been saving for like five years. While that is totally insane, it would make for a kick ass conversation piece. Or perhaps I would get a girl that would carve my name in her body and use her left nipple to dot the i in my name. Basically I wanted to have something to throw in the faces of my friends when they bitched about women, I could just hear them say, “Yeah she was crazy, she yelled at me about how I poured salt.”
I could sit there for a second and let them continue on, finally stopping them and saying… “See this sweater, it was made from my stalker’s pubic hair.”
Argument over.
Currently I have a stalker and it is the most disappointing thing ever because my stalker is a dude. Man on man stalking is like one of the lamest things ever, it is like going to see your favorite band in concert and having to sit through them lip syncing. You just leave at the end of the day really disappointed, that is how I feel at this point.
So now I have to worry about male stalker following me into a restaurant and sniffing the seat I had just sat in or him trying to ship himself in a refrigerator box as a “gift” to my house. Now what type of fun is that?
Since I know male stalker visits my blog approximately 5,000 times a day, (he left a comment the other day and now I have his IP address… ho, ho, ho) I just want to say I am going to pass on the pube sweater.
Have you ever had to deal with someone that had stalkerish qualities that was the same gender?
I have actually dealt with a stalker like dude. He worked with my brother and sister and he was in love with me. He would send me messages over MySpace and I would just ignore them and then he would send me friend invites and I would deny them. He did this like 50 times. Then the gifts started coming and then thats where I had to put my foot down. I don’t like doing this, but I had to get mean and tell him off.\par
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I mean, it would have been different if he was cute, but this poor kid looked like he had down syndrom (which is sad to say).\par
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So if you go to families houses for Xmas, do you wear that pubic sweater….haha.
yrs. ago when I was a barkeep and danced on the side I had a stalker. He knew I had a fiance` maybe I was married? anyway he’s send me flowers cards and come to find out he lived not far from me… yup I even got a visit or two. He was a sweet person but that was enough for me. Look dude I don’t wanna be the one to break your heart I’ve got a man already and trying to be friends won’t cut it either. I would feel akward and may tend to become ill as in angry should he follow me around like a puppy dog. (he did) :\}
do you think that calling him out will result in more compulsatory stalking or less? i had this guy find me via myspace that creeped the shit out of me (he lived in my area and would show up at places he knew i would be, etc) that actually started checking my page more often after i told him to go fuck himself. when he found out i had an ip tracker his visits increased despite the fact that he told me he was humiliated.
[quote comment="2615"]do you think that calling him out will result in more compulsatory stalking or less? i had this guy find me via myspace that creeped the shit out of me (he lived in my area and would show up at places he knew i would be, etc) that actually started checking my page more often after i told him to go fuck himself. when he found out i had an ip tracker his visits increased despite the fact that he told me he was humiliated.[/quote]\par
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Oh this idiot left a comment and now I have his ip address so I see how many times he comes to my blog, the best is that on mybloglog.com if you visit a page enough they automatically put you into the pages community. Guess who has been added to my community?
I had a stalker years ago. He and his buddies came in to my work one night. I was the only one working upfront (it was at a fast food restaruant)and we were about to close. Well one of his friends had came up to ask if I had a boyfriend. I said no. Well next thing I know this guy comes one 2-3 times a week to eat. Alone. Kept looking at me the whole time. Which gave me the creeps. One time he gave me a white teddy bear with a letter that says some explicit stuff about how he was to have sex with me and shit. I then asked my manager can tell this guy to leave the store because he’s stalking me I even showed them the letter but company policy stats that anyone who enters through the door and acutally pays for something is a paying customer and you can’t kick them out. Well I finally told them look then when he comes in, you take his order I’m not about to be up there when he is in the store. Well i was then told if they could they would take care of it. But a fellow co-worker told him off for me. Told him I wasn’t intrested. Then he tried asking her out and she just laughed at him. Wish I had did that the first time.
We have one were I work, and because she hasn’t hurt anyone yet, just made the women uncomfortable and not made too big a scene, they won’t bar her from coming into the store. One of the women has swore out an affadavit about her and still they do nothing but watch her on security cameras. \par
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They are SO liable when she finally cracks and hurts someone.\par
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I hate to say it, but if it was a guy….\par
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They wouldn’t want to miss out on the $40 she might spend. And then return the products she buys. Real rich.
I think I have a stalker too. Can you offer tips to track them? I know I can and should change my myspace page/profile, but it took a long time to accumulate the friends I have and I am just too lazy to start over.\par
Any advice would be appreciated.
I had a stalker, that was a girl, it was sad…not the least bit flattering. change your name to bob and move to VT. he’ll never find you there
Not a stalker, per se, but a very persistent woman that makes me uncomfortable.
I’ve had a few stalkers. None of them have been any fun. One took a shot at me then left an assemblage of roadkill critters strewn through my front yard for daring to refuse to go out with him after he tried to drag me from my car one night when I was sitting at a stop sign. Yeah, it was seriously, cop-involving bad. The next guy wasn’t much better. Sent me postcards in the mail threatening rape that I would come to love – another for the police files. The third guy was cyber so I thought it was simple enough to blow him of – he was in England right? Wrong. I got a call from another vic that he’d hit her place and she was in the hospital and I was next on his travelogue. Yippee skippie. At least that asshat was in the armed services and the military doesn’t take well to that shit. He’s still in the brig. My only female stalker just irritated the shit out of me by calling all the time, sending me presents and offering to be this helpful minion. I considered abusing the girl but figured it would get worse plus the cops would be pissed at me for encouraging her. I was polite and slowly started avoiding her and after a while she faded away. From what I hear she’s found another author to traumatize.
Yeah, a long time ago when I lived in another state. Kudos!
Dude.\par
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So not cool.\par
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Is he like, a fan? Or is he like seriously gay and into you? \par
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I had two female stalkers named Jen at the same time once. One kept threatening every girl I tried to date. But at least she was a chick…
Yep, stalkers are a lot of fun. I had one last fall that stalked my comments I left on other blogs, and then bitched at me about them. I am glad I have settled down with one woman and don’t let my penis get me in trouble anymore………………..
[quote comment="2628"]Dude.\par
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So not cool.\par
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Is he like, a fan? Or is he like seriously gay and into you?\par
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I had two female stalkers named Jen at the same time once. One kept threatening every girl I tried to date. But at least she was a chick…[/quote]\par
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No he isn’t either he fucking hates me and wants to know my every move. \par
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Every girl named Jen is crazy.
[quote comment="2591"][quote comment="2584"]\par
He had them up to a B before he tried committing suicide and got put in the loony bin. He might be all man again by now, who knows.[/quote]\par
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Like where is the cut off from switching from hormones to buying fake breasts? Just curious.[/quote]\par
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I have no clue, maybe I can get his contact info from the nuthouse in Chelmsford and have him contact you.
I wish I had a stalker sometimes…then again…maybe a hot female stalker that I can fulfill…er..I better shut up.
I had a guy stalk me before, he would email me telling me the places i was at recently, it stopped when i told him i would splatter his brains all over the sidewalk with my 12 gauge if i ever saw him.
Ugh…I’ve had more than my share of stalkers and I wasn’t flattered by any of them unfortunately. As far as same gender stalking, I had a few of those as well but the the most memorable one I had was a friend of mine that wanted me around her 24-7 (mind you I’m a wife and mother as is she) and she’d call me ALL the time. After I got pregnant with my youngest, I started becoing a hermit and basically wanted to be at home alot (bad morning sickness). Next thing I know, I find out she’s doing drive bys at least 6 times a day to see if I’m at least sitting out in my yard!~ Then she starts leaving notes at my door, on my car, etc…creepy much!
I might have y’all beat…..\par
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I had a “Single White Female” type stalker. Wanted to do everything I was doing. \par
She even got herself pregnant because I was. That is going way too overboard. The poor kid.
If he has back hair, he can make that sweater WAY faster *nods*
Ok, so now I have that crappy 80s song stuck in my head.\par
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“I always feel like\par
somebody’s watching meee!”\par
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Dammit…
[quote comment="2561"]I am breathing a sigh of relief, I saw the title and I thought you were onto me. Wait, I’ve said too much.\par
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btw- I have something to mail you…\par
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I had a stalker before, he was very creepy and it was scary that his nickname was Angry Chris. He used to show up at my house and when I was out on dates. He even started showing up at my work and sitting there just looking at me. He would call me and ask who was at my house or who I left my house with, he even moved a couple blocks away to be closer to me. I would get packages left on my doorstep, and he even started finding my friends to ask about me (when he couldn’t find me.) I guess I should have stopped fucking him, lesson learned. he he[/quote]\par
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Very funny! I had a stalked like that, too. His name was Mr. Kate, and the stalking pretty much stopped when I divorced him.
Stalker, that is!
Wow man… Have you thought of just bein like “Are you okay dude? I see you following me? Is there something you need to tell me? Just letting you know, I don’t swing like that, so whatever you’re thinking, just forget about it.”\par
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Sometimes its the easiest route thats always the forgotten one.
I had a stalker once, but we met and he said he was sorry it was a mistake, he had the wrong person.
Ahhh Mate.. Good on ya.. I am so sorry that you have been disillusioned with your stalker fantasy with a bloke. I say off him… (Oops don’t want to get sued for libelous words; I state this is an OPINION only) I will find you a bird who will knit you a sweater of pubic hair so you can have that claim.
Good one Kevin. Love the post.
Drag man. No chicks like me I guess..
He called in on the show the other night… Tha’s weird…
[quote comment="2607"]I opened her desk draw and found a pair of my USED panties…ick![/quote]\par
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That is fucked up.\par
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Kevin, I’ll be your stalker!\par
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No, not really. I lied. But I’ll, uh, send you stuff you can erm, brag about.\par
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Ahahaha, how about a collage of you and your trash. Like, a half-eated bagel and a picture of you standing in your front yard.
[...] their blog or their page. First of all people that sit their and brag about their audience like my male stalker Super Douche does shows how totally stupid they are. It really isn’t their audience, it is [...]
Haha I have a couple right now. One of em is this chick i’ve known for a few years that comes in to the cafe attached to my work all the time, and a couple weeks ago she told me that she wants to be with me and move in with me and pay my bills and buy me a car and all this stuff and has for a few years.. well, but she wants to leave her 40 something retired lawyer husband to do it and bring her 5 year old daughter with too. I have another one that is this lady thats a friend of my friend, and she always is trying to come on to me, except shes like 45 and i’m 26. The other one that i think is turning out well is this chick that i’ve known on msn for like 5 years. Well, when i first met her she was 14.. and when she was 15 was when she started trying to get me to be with her. When I was 22. Needless to say I didn’t do that. Well fast forward to a couple weeks ago, I got on MSN for the first time in a couple years. So guess who IMd me in the first 10 seconds I was on.. Yeah, same chick, except shes 19 now. And damn cute. And 5′1″ 100lbs. And moving to my city in a week. So, being a guy, i just couldn’t pass that up. Well, that was more than a week ago. She’s been at my condo for the last 2 days and she’s asleep in my bed right now waiting for me to get off work. Mistake? I dunno, maybe. But damn it’s a lot of fun!
Oh, and it lets me get rid of the other 2 along with my ex who i can’t get away from no matter how hard I try.