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Hey Doctor, Can I Get a Laugh?

By: Bobby Finstock on 06/29/07 @ 5:32 am

So yesterday I went to get a physical and have a few of my shots updated, as required by my grad school. Now, like everyone else, I am not a huge fan of going to the doctors, you know that you are going to find out something you don’t want to. However, I was buoyed by the fact that my balls would get rolled in a check for testicular cancer, which always has potential.

ball check

I decided though to make fun of a bad situation and have some fun with the doctor, you know show some personality, lighten the situation. But what I found was a wall of non laughter, which made me want to get a laugh out of them that much more. In fact it got the point where I got to be so hacky that it was depressing. Here is a sample of the hits and misses from yesterday:

Doctor: Do you smoke?

Me: (in a very serious voice) Just crack.

Well that leads me into my next question about any drug habits you may have.

What? Not even a snicker, the timing was perfect. I had to explain that I didn’t do crack after that because I didn’t want them to think I was Pookie from New Jack City.


Is there any history of mental illness in your family?

Well my parents are divorced I am sure they each have a very different answer.

No… I mean diagnosed.

Ok it was lame… I wish I could have gotten a mulligan for that one.

The only two things I would have you do is get a blood check done to check your cholesterol and I would also recommend to get a STD test, being a young sexually active male. That test is done with blood and with urine…

Me: When my friend had that done they put a giant q-tip in the tip of his…

Doctor: With current technology we don’t need to probe.

Me: Phew, because that is really a hole that is exit only.

Doctor: So, should I order the tests?

I’m standing by that one, that was funny.

All told I dropped four or five jokes with none of them getting a laugh. But the worst part about it was, no ball check, I must leave that to privacy of my own shower.

It was truly a sad day.

What are some of your uncomfortable Doctor appointments?

Filed in: My Life

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

53 Responses to “Hey Doctor, Can I Get a Laugh?”

  1. says:

    [quote comment="2358"][quote comment="2352"]You should hear the jokes I start telling when I am in the stirrups…\par
    Men have it so easy. Hahahaha[/quote]\par
    Once the clamps go down the humor comes out?[/quote]\par
    I would be more concerned if the doctor heard an echo while you’re in the stirrups.\par
    - Christian.

  2. says:

    [quote comment="2394"]We have previously established the fact that I have always had a magnificent rack, yes?\par
    When I was about 19 I went to a new OB/GYN for my annual. After the standard breast palpitation to check for lumps, he put doun the sheet, had me sit up, and rotate my arms while he stood a couple of feet back while he watched. He said “good tissue flow”. I was too mortified and embarrassed to do what I should have done- kick him in the balls and run out to the reception room and demand to speak to someone, and then report him. Needless to say I went to a woman doctor after that.\par
    Sorry it’s not a funny story Kev- just a creepy one…[/quote]\par
    Are you trying to imply that female doctors can’t be creepy?\par
    - Christian.

  3. says:

    Went for the gyno/Girlie thing one time with my Husband in tow. We had been trying to get pregnant for the last year. At the exam they told my husband that it wasn’t going to happen because of slow sperm.\par
    Then he procedes to do the exam. Finds out that I am indeed pregnant, comments on the fact that it must be super sperm OR maybe you just save up. Asks my husband if he would like to see what it looks like, and then adds ” In the Light” hahaha it was pretty funny

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