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Jun
26

The Crooked Official Part 2

By: Bobby Finstock on 06/26/07 @ 4:58 am

This is the second part of my series on how I have no moral compass in officiating youth sports.

Part II- Does this Uniform Make Me Look Sexy?

There was this girl that I always ran into while I was out at the bar, we never really talked that often but I always thought she was rather attractive. For some reason I just never had a chance to talk with her, that was until I showed up to officiate a local game and she was the head coach. We talked for like ten minutes before the game, flirted a little, and I knew that I had to make sure I gave her the benefit of the doubt on any call possible. If I was going to be able to continue to flirt with her she had to be in a good mood, and losing does not put a person in a good mood.

The calls weren’t as blatant or as bad as the other game, plus her team had some good players. They had the lead midway through the second half when the greatest thing happened, a player from the other team shoved one of her players. I carded the girl (which means: gave her a warning, if she gets another card she gets kicked out), who immediately fell to the ground and started having a temper tantrum. Now when you hear that you must be thinking I was at a game with 6 year olds, nope she was 13 or 14.

soccer

I stood there for a second trying not to laugh, I figured I would give her the chance to compose herself. That didn’t happen, she looked up at me with her face red and tears pouring down her cheeks, I just smirked back and told her she needed to get up so we could continue the game. She then got up all huffy and mumbled something under her breath, all I caught was the word “damn.” So I gave her a second card and threw her out of the game because of her use of language.

Yeah I know I just told you a story where the coach dropped the “f-bomb” on me, but hey I wanted to see if this girl would try to stab me with her shin guards or something. There could have been a million dollar lawsuit in the works…

This time she collapsed into a lifeless heap onto the ground, sobbing uncontrollably, I had to go over to the bench to have the coach escort her off the field. He asked me why I had given her the second card and I told him it was because of her language, which made him disgusted at her leading to him ripping her a new asshole about knowing better.

After the game I asked my coach crush (that sounded like something out of Seventeen) to meet me out that night for a drink, which she did, that could have been considered the high point, after all I have been known to like female soccer players.

female soccer fan

It just wasn’t as good as when I started to walk to my car, I passed by the girl and her family, as soon as she saw me she started crying again. Yet another girl I had put into therapy, and she didn’t even date me.

When people cry and spaz out, is it a sign to let it go or pile it on?

Filed in: My Life

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

26 Responses to “The Crooked Official Part 2”

  1. says:

    When people are crying most of the time its over something silly especially if its coming from a female….I say just let it go……especially when it comes from a spoiled 13 or 14 year old girl that just threw a tantrum because she got carded during a soccer game….

  2. says:

    LOL….somewhere at some future time that girl could be in politics or possbily a Paris Hilton wanna be.

  3. says:

    [quote comment="2172"]LOL….somewhere at some future time that girl could be in politics or possbily a Paris Hilton wanna be.[/quote]\par
    \par
    Or my future wife

  4. says:

    I say pile it on. Crying like that is just a lame attempt at manipulation and I can’t bring myself to cater to kids like that. I feel since obviously they are not learning a lesson where they need it most (home) giving them a good dose of the real world will totally help. Until Mom goes and buys the little bitch a Lexus on her birthday and she throws a fit because the color is not the one she wanted on her Super Sweet Sixteen. (I would think those are the same type of kids)

  5. says:

    i say beat some ass

  6. says:

    Damn, how many others have you put into therapy? lol

  7. says:

    being an official is crap these days no matter what the call some are happy some arent\par
    Peewee games are quite violent in britain\par
    one incident involved a young boy sliding into another and cutting him quite badly\par
    god i love my job

  8. says:

    In this case pile it on, she was just a spoiled little brat.

  9. says:

    You are getting lazy with the linking from myspace, aren’t you. \par
    \par
    When small children cry I like to cry back at them. I might be sending more people to therapy than you could ever hope to.

  10. says:

    [quote comment=""]You are getting lazy with the linking from myspace, aren’t you.\par
    \par
    When small children cry I like to cry back at them. I might be sending more people to therapy than you could ever hope to.[/quote]\par
    \par
    I was just super busy today and didn’t feel like copying and pasting code… it happens.

  11. says:

    Oh, pile it on for sure. Especially if she is 13 or 14 years old. If princesses start getting what they want at that age, its all over for any guy that wants it down the road. Unless she stops playing soccer and turns into a wiffle pig.

  12. says:

    Oh Definitely Pile it on, She’s going into a fit over that?? I would lay it on Thick!!

  13. says:

    If they’re already crying, what’s the point? You’ve already won.

  14. says:

    [quote comment=""]If they’re already crying, what’s the point? You’ve already won.[/quote]\par
    \par
    \par
    Pile it on baby, pile it on!

  15. says:

    If you’ve broken them. Smoosh them into bite-size pieces and then powder. mwa-haha!

  16. says:

    [quote comment=""]If you’ve broken them. Smoosh them into bite-size pieces and then powder. mwa-haha![/quote]

  17. says:

    Definately pile it on if they aren’t hurt or have a legitime reason for being upset. It’s just too damn funny to see people cry for no reason. Watching men cry makes me horny though so I try and just leave then…\par
    \par
    5 Kudos\par
    \par
    Oink!

  18. says:

    If she’s having that kind of tantrum at that age, I say go for the gusto! I have a daughter that age and I can pretty much guarantee she’d NEVER do that…it’d be much too embarrassing for her! lol Not only would she make an ass of herself, but me getting on her about it in front of God and everyone would just be the icing on the cake for her…she’d rather suck it up and move on! hehehehe

  19. says:

    I want to know more about what happened with you and your coach crush.

  20. says:

    You should definitely pile on more. What a whiner. \par
    \par
    Conversely, if I was the kid, I would have gone into fake convulsions after the second card just to mess with YOU, you evil meanie..LOL!

  21. says:

    …and what’s a “wiffle pig” ??

  22. says:

    You were doing her a favor by piling it on. If she ever outgrows her brat-attacks she may be thanking you some day.

  23. says:

    Oh definitely pile it on, let them spaz themselves into an aneurism – it’s called natural selection. Just my opinion.

  24. says:

    This is an awesome story!\par
    \par
    Red carding people and soccer and scoring a date with the other coach in the same day?…Did you pinch yourself?..\par
    \par
    Did you score atleast?

  25. says:

    You were doing her a favor by piling it on. If she ever outgrows her brat-attacks she may be thanking you some day.\par
    well that was funny.huh

  26. says:

    Dude…I would have carded her for the tantrum, that was disgusting! Worst is, I think it is getting more an more common for older kids to act like utter brats. My son (almost 15) and I were at K-Mart and this boy who was almost the same age tossed an enormous sissy fit in electronics because his grandmother wouldn’t buy him a video game. My kid got this big shit-eating grin and stood over the red faced brat as he kicked and screamed on the floor and called him a loser. That ended the tirade faster than poking a balloon with a pin. Guess the boy knew the Air Raid Siren from school. The only comment I got was, “You know mom, this is the first time I’ve ever wanted to go to school.”

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