An Ode To the Old Korean Lady Working at the Concession Stand at the Dodger Game
My new friend,
Who knew that tucked away in the furthest corner of the loge level in the right field corner I would find you. A diamond in the rough, if you will. Someone that has probably been working for the Dodgers since they moved to LA from Brooklyn years ago.
Sure some might say that they moved you to this corner because of how slow you are as a worker. Or how you ruminate over the fact there was a little speckle of chewing gum on a debit card, making your production almost nil for minutes at a time. I look at these not as a detriment but as a little quirks that I could learn to love about you.
Some might say that are 50 years of age difference isn’t socially acceptable, that a relationship between us two would never last. To the naysayers I say nay, our love will last an eternity. I knew it from the moment I could have switched to three different lines and still gotten my Dodger dog a full inning before I would have gotten it from you, yet I didn’t move.
There was something compelling about waiting for us to come into contact. Maybe it was alcohol, maybe it was the conversation I had with the person I was in line with, maybe it was because I would stare at the game on the television in front of me, or maybe I couldn’t be bothered by moving lines…. Maybe, just maybe, it was because I was transfixed on the way you move at a pace that makes people with no limbs look like Olympic sprinters.
My only regret is that I didn’t profess my love to you when I had my shining moment of ordering two dogs, two drinks, and an order of nachos with jalapenos on the side. Until we meet again Old Korean Lady working at the concession stand at a Dodger game in the right field corner on the loge level, until we meet again.
-Kevin
Don’t you hate getting in line and watching every single line move twice as fast around you?
On 06/19/07 at 5:24 am
said:
FIRST WITH KUDOS!
On 06/19/07 at 5:24 am
said:
First
On 06/19/07 at 5:26 am
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[quote comment="4160"]First[/quote]\par
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Sorry but I got First. FYI, the rules been changed so now you have to say “With Kudos” too along with the first to be a first.
On 06/19/07 at 5:28 am
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I freakin’ hate when old people are in charge of a register of some sorts. There is always a long freakin’ ass line.
On 06/19/07 at 5:28 am
said:
i hate when that happens…
On 06/19/07 at 5:31 am
said:
See, this happens to me every time I take the kid to the movies…. the place is packed with over excited kids frothing at the mouth over the thought of seeing the Fantastic Four movie and these people are moving at a rate that would make molases flowing up hill look like a gushing jet of water.\par
Give the Korean lady my love next time.
On 06/19/07 at 5:33 am
said:
You did what to my mother?
On 06/19/07 at 5:44 am
said:
I hate that I always get in that line, and then if I jump over to the line that is moving faster, it then becomes the slow line.
On 06/19/07 at 5:45 am
said:
Great blogs today Kevin!!! I am the worst at picking lines, I always pick what I will think to be the fastest line, and boy oh boy I am usually wrong every time. My other pet peeve about old people working a register is like when you go to the grocery store, or place like that, when you get the chatty older person that is too busy talking and not cashing me out. Lots of kudos!
On 06/19/07 at 5:49 am
said:
[quote comment="4164"]I freakin’ hate when old people are in charge of a register of some sorts. There is always a long freakin’ ass line.[/quote]\par
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I know we should just put them in a field or something when they reach a certain age
On 06/19/07 at 5:49 am
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[quote comment="4165"]i hate when that happens…[/quote]\par
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thus is my life
On 06/19/07 at 5:50 am
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That is exactly what happened to me when I went to the D.C. United game on Saturday and when I switched lines it started moving.
On 06/19/07 at 5:51 am
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[quote comment="4166"]See, this happens to me every time I take the kid to the movies…. the place is packed with over excited kids frothing at the mouth over the thought of seeing the Fantastic Four movie and these people are moving at a rate that would make molases flowing up hill look like a gushing jet of water.\par
Give the Korean lady my love next time.[/quote]\par
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She is in my bed right now, I will extend her the message.
On 06/19/07 at 5:52 am
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[quote comment="4168"]You did what to my mother?[/quote]\par
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Let me just say she is not a stranger to anal pleasures.
On 06/19/07 at 5:54 am
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I went to see the movies one day with my roommate and her son. A young woman of Asian descent was our “almost real” food provider. I could see that she didn’t really have her mind on things, as she seemed to be having an animated discussion with herself over our order. She kept apologizing for the delay while my roommate’s food was being prepared. After we finally got everything we ordered, I asked her if she was okay. She just ran out of the concession stand in tears. And I wasn’t even naked. I’m still wondering just what was wrong with her.
On 06/19/07 at 5:54 am
said:
[quote comment="4172"]I hate that I always get in that line, and then if I jump over to the line that is moving faster, it then becomes the slow line.[/quote]\par
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You are a curse
On 06/19/07 at 5:59 am
said:
[quote comment="4173"]Great blogs today Kevin!!! I am the worst at picking lines, I always pick what I will think to be the fastest line, and boy oh boy I am usually wrong every time. My other pet peeve about old people working a register is like when you go to the grocery store, or place like that, when you get the chatty older person that is too busy talking and not cashing me out. Lots of kudos![/quote]\par
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It makes me want to dig my eyes out.
On 06/19/07 at 6:02 am
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[quote post="620"]It makes me want to dig my eyes out. [/quote]\par
yes with a spoon!!
On 06/19/07 at 6:07 am
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Aw to see love bloom over a dodger dog, and a bud, makes my heart grow happy with love and goodwill. Wait? No that’s the Bud coming back up……………..
On 06/19/07 at 6:19 am
said:
[quote comment="4175"][quote comment="4164"]I freakin’ hate when old people are in charge of a register of some sorts. There is always a long freakin’ ass line.[/quote]\par
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I know we should just put them in a field or something when they reach a certain age[/quote]\par
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How about in a home thats on an island in the middle of nowheres.
On 06/19/07 at 6:31 am
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She would’ve had me at “here are your hot dogs”…
On 06/19/07 at 6:47 am
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Oh yeah Kevin, go for it man. She is a total cougar.
On 06/19/07 at 6:48 am
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Gotta love slow lines. Here is a tip to avoid the slowest line in the entire place - if you see me standing in line, DO NOT GET IN IT!! No matter where I go, what I do I seem to pick the slowest line. this morning I was second in line to buy gas and a coke and everyone else in the other longer lines got out before me. go figure
On 06/19/07 at 8:02 am
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WALMART!!!!! gotta love it you get in the short line and you still take twice as long!!!!
On 06/19/07 at 8:14 am
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It’s the exact same as driving lol. Except you don’t fall in love with the horse that has a traffic-directing cop on top of him.
On 06/19/07 at 8:24 am
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For some reason this kind of stuff always seems to happen to me….but i don’t fall in love with the person being slow..LOL
On 06/19/07 at 8:37 am
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I always look at the worker when choosing a line, to see how quick they are moving. The length of the line itself is deceiving. It’s not a perfect system, but it has worked most of the time for me.
On 06/19/07 at 11:23 am
said:
I think i want a refund!
On 06/19/07 at 1:33 pm
said:
Ah, but you were in Dodger Stadium. Dodger Stadium makes everything better. Unless you are there with a friend who is an Angels fan, and the Dodgers are losing 3-10. But it all gets better again when Dodger Security starts taking Angels fans away because Dodger fans are accussing them of shit they didn’t do.
On 06/19/07 at 3:49 pm
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Awww this is hilarious
On 06/19/07 at 3:52 pm
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I always pick the slowest line.. always.. a quirk of mine.. lol.
On 06/19/07 at 8:16 pm
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Man, I really thought this was going to end in a kiss. Damn.
On 06/19/07 at 11:42 pm
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[quote comment="4224"]Man, I really thought this was going to end in a kiss. Damn.[/quote]\par
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No there was a happy ending involved though
On 06/20/07 at 5:05 am
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YEah! And as soon as you switch lines,.. that one stops and the one you WERE in moves!
On 06/20/07 at 5:47 am
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If it is not the dumbest phrase it is certainly over used. In my job “making rain” means bringing in new business. The next dumbest phrase is “decorating the mohagany” - means when the client puts money on your desk. I HATE both phrases.\par
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Already teaching the nephew about strippers huh? Better teach him the most important lesson - look but dont touch, and if you do touch, wash wash wash.
On 06/20/07 at 5:52 am
said:
Wouldn’t it be ironic if your nephew one day nails the daughter who bought your car?
On 06/20/07 at 5:54 am
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It’s never too early to teach the kid the really important things in life. Way to go kevin……..
On 06/20/07 at 5:56 am
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Your nephew is so going to be a pimp, watch out for him tricking out his teachers.
On 06/20/07 at 5:57 am
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[quote comment="4231"]\par
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Already teaching the nephew about strippers huh? Better teach him the most important lesson - look but dont touch, and if you do touch, wash wash wash.[/quote]\par
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I am trying to just cover the washing the hands thing in general
On 06/20/07 at 5:58 am
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[quote comment="4232"]Wouldn’t it be ironic if your nephew one day nails the daughter who bought your car?[/quote]\par
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Everything would come full circle
On 06/20/07 at 5:58 am
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[quote comment="4233"]It’s never too early to teach the kid the really important things in life. Way to go kevin……..[/quote]\par
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That is what I am here for
On 06/20/07 at 6:04 am
said:
[quote comment="4237"][quote comment="4232"]Wouldn’t it be ironic if your nephew one day nails the daughter who bought your car?[/quote]\par
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Everything would come full circle[/quote]\par
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Wouldn’t be even more ironic if he nails her after raining money on her at the club she dances?
On 06/20/07 at 6:05 am
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I learned some lingo from an episode of CSI…drinking clear and something about Benjamins…
On 06/20/07 at 6:08 am
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There really are a plethora of stupid phrases in the recent five years. They’re never so dumb as when you hear them on the news, like “a young man was hurt this weekend ‘ghost riding the whip’” or “thanks Steve, our next story involves a woman having her ‘bling’ stolen right out of her ‘crib’ while she was getting ‘hyphee’ just a few feet away”. Dumb things that are made worse but middle aged newscasters trying to sound like they’re still relevant. Horrible.
On 06/20/07 at 6:11 am
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I’m praying you never spawn…..the kid is going to need therapy in a few years.
On 06/20/07 at 6:21 am
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It sounds like your nephew and my daughter would get along well. My daughter likes to pole dance, she picked it up after a visit with her father in NYC. I am not sure where they went for their day together, but I have decided supervised visits are the way to go.
On 06/20/07 at 6:25 am
said:
“Get er done”, maybe the most over used and dumbest in the last five years. Unless you “get er done”after “you make it rain”!!
On 06/20/07 at 6:30 am
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Your such a good uncle teaching your nephew about strippers and making it rain.
On 06/20/07 at 6:35 am
said:
[quote comment="4239"][quote comment="4237"][quote comment="4232"]Wouldn’t it be ironic if your nephew one day nails the daughter who bought your car?[/quote]\par
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Everything would come full circle[/quote]\par
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Wouldn’t be even more ironic if he nails her after raining money on her at the club she dances?[/quote]\par
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That would just be perfection
On 06/20/07 at 6:36 am
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[quote comment="4242"]I’m praying you never spawn…..the kid is going to need therapy in a few years.[/quote]\par
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I probably have already spawned I just don’t know it.
On 06/20/07 at 6:37 am
said:
[quote comment="4243"]It sounds like your nephew and my daughter would get along well. My daughter likes to pole dance, she picked it up after a visit with her father in NYC. I am not sure where they went for their day together, but I have decided supervised visits are the way to go.[/quote]\par
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I thought a father’s job was to keep his daughter off of the pole
On 06/20/07 at 6:42 am
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[quote comment="4247"][quote comment="4242"]I’m praying you never spawn…..the kid is going to need therapy in a few years.[/quote]\par
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I probably have already spawned I just don’t know it.[/quote]\par
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Wathc out world, is all I can think.
On 06/20/07 at 6:43 am
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First laugh of the day!\par
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Jeez, some of those terms are so stupid though. I’m still not getting the whole other language. Gimme pidgin any day!\par
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But I love to read them, especially when they teach you how to use it in a sentence.
On 06/20/07 at 7:02 am
said:
i especially like how in the urban dictionary reference they use “da” instead of “the”. way to “keep it real…yo.” geesh.
On 06/20/07 at 7:06 am
said:
omg…your nephew is going to be a bigger pimp then you, kev.
On 06/20/07 at 7:10 am
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Well I guess you’re never to young to learn what make it rain means. I’m just glad he can do it perfectly so when you do take him to the strip clubs you won’t have to show him how to do it. Good job Kevin!\par
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I wouldn’t say that it was the dumbest phrase I heard. The one I hate is when someone I haven’t seen in a while walks up to me and says “Damn girl I haven’t seen you in a minute.” It kinda makes me wanna bitch smack them up side their heads.
On 06/20/07 at 7:10 am
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It is still second, only to “Who’s your Daddy?”
On 06/20/07 at 7:11 am
said:
[quote comment="4248"][quote comment="4243"]It sounds like your nephew and my daughter would get along well. My daughter likes to pole dance, she picked it up after a visit with her father in NYC. I am not sure where they went for their day together, but I have decided supervised visits are the way to go.[/quote]\par
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I thought a father’s job was to keep his daughter off of the pole[/quote]\par
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Well I guess this father didn’t see it that way…haha.
On 06/20/07 at 7:20 am
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Moments like that, you will treasure forever…haha
On 06/20/07 at 7:22 am
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Well at least he is learning valuable informaiton he can share at pre-school!!
On 06/20/07 at 7:28 am
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To me,the dumbest phrase, is “Ghost ride the whip” Just look up some video’s online and you’ll see not only how dumb the phrase is, but also how dumb the people who do it are.
On 06/20/07 at 8:13 am
said:
You must be so proud!
On 06/20/07 at 8:29 am
said:
and thus, man invented scotchguard - the cum protector.
On 06/20/07 at 8:47 am
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I just saw some of the “Ghost ride the whip” videos on youtube. WOW. those people are fucking STUPID!\par
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I’m still in shock. I’ll think of something else to write later.
On 06/20/07 at 10:29 am
said:
Damn it! Why couldn’t I have answered the phone in time! It could have been me, Kevin. Not Barbie. Me.
On 06/20/07 at 10:42 am
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I’ve already forgotten. Is this your brother’s kid or your sister’s kid…Either way, his Mom needs to beat you with a shoe. lol\par
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Oh…Baio
On 06/20/07 at 1:02 pm
said:
You forgot the rest of the line to \’e2\’80\’9cit\’e2\’80\’99s all fun and games until someone loses an eye\’e2\’80\’9d “then its freaking hiliarous!!”
On 06/20/07 at 2:12 pm
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[quote comment="4244"]“Get er done”, maybe the most over used and dumbest in the last five years.quote]\par
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I’m putting my money on this one. Our governor of MT has an actual “Git er Done” award he gives out. Hilarious.
On 06/20/07 at 4:54 pm
said:
[quote comment="4242"]I’m praying you never spawn…..the kid is going to need therapy in a few years.[/quote]\par
I was just thinking the same thing…lol
On 06/21/07 at 8:05 am
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Yep, make it rain has to be one on the list…\par
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I’ve never made it rain in a strip club. Course, I haven’t been in one in 8 years…Not all that exciting…and yes, I do like hot naked women.
On 06/21/07 at 9:26 am
said:
*sigh* Ok Ok….I have to admit you’ve got a very valid point. Being that I have a korean mom, I completely feel your pain. Don’t let them get behind the wheel of a car either it’s enough to make you gauge your eyes out. Quick short story here, when I was living in Cali, hubby and I decided to drive up to WA to visit my folks…after a long 12 hr drive, we are about 5 minutes from my mom’s house when we get stuck behind some damn cadillac with some little old oriental lady behind the wheel! So, instead of getting there in 5, it took us twice as long and the whole time I’m cursing little old oriental drivers that have no business behind the wheel of a vehicle k? Well, seems this person was headed where we were headed LITERALLY pulling up into my parents driveway so all I can think is ” Pshhh it just had to be one of mom’s friends” right? NOOO…Kev, it was my MOTHER! *sigh* Damn those slightly tinted windows and short asian women
On 06/21/07 at 11:11 am
said:
That was cute! Poor kid.
On 06/21/07 at 11:34 am
said:
omg you are too much kev, lol you and ur nephew making it rain on chicks lol…. umm no make it rain isn’t the stupidest phrase in the past 5 years humm lemme see…. what it do shawty is dumb to me… what else what’s poppin???,anybody who does the lil jon/dave chappelle imatation of yeah that has been killed to death…i cant think of any more oh wait the birdman’s birdcall on every damm record not a phrase but made so irritating