I know a lot of people daydream about what they would do if they won the lottery or something of that nature. Once and awhile I sit around and ponder this, instead of thinking about where I would buy a home or how I could help my family, I think about random things I could afford with all of this money. Here is a list of 5 things I would totally get if I was loaded:
5) Backup Singers: Whenever I made an excellent point or a haunting statement I would love to have background singers that would sing the last word I said in unison to give it added impact. However, unlike the picture above, I want them to be all fat, black, and damn sassy, basically three Mo’niques but not as annoying.
4) The Peach Pit from 90210: I want a place where my friends and I can hang out that says, “You are almost as cool as Dylan McKay…” Of course I will hire the actor that played Nat to reprise his role and be our mentor when we get into trouble, he could use the work.
3) A chain of strip clubs: I always have wanted to buy a strip club and rename it the Vag. Think of the advertising campaigns you can run: Come inside the Vag, Our Vag you don’t need permission to enter, and if the front door of the Vag is busy you can always try the back door. It would be huge, people would be buying t-shirts, it would be a sensation.
2) The Olsen Twins: Why? Because I can afford to. I would then immediately go to a country with no extradition laws and build a thunderdome. Then I would have them fight themselves to the death using common household appliances. Of course I would broadcast it on the internet and allow people to gamble on it, making a ton of money off the broadcast.
1) Kenny Loggins: Do I even need to explain why? I can hear the themes to Footloose, Top Gun, and Caddyshack at will….
What random thing would you buy if you became disgustingly rich?