"Maybe it was a dream, you know, a very weird, bizarre, vivid, erotic, wet,
detailed dream. Maybe we have malaria."


The Best Display of Real Power That I Have Ever Read About

By: Bobby Finstock on 06/13/07 @ 4:35 am

People talk about power all the time; the power to impact other people, the power to make money, the power to run the government…

All of that is well and good, I get why people would crave it.

Being a history major… er having a Bachelors in History, I have been able to study a lot of people and groups that had power. It was impressive to learn about great leaders, generals, activists, and individuals, but in all honesty I wasn’t moved to a point of amazement until I read about LBJ.


Now I am not going to go on and talk about the Presidency of Lyndon Baines Johnson, I want the people reading to actually stay awake. I will however, talk about the one single thing that impressed me so much, that had me so amazed, that had me so flabbergasted, that in the end made him my favorite President ever. Here is a quote from Wikipedia:

“Johnson, while using the White House bathroom, was known to insist that others accompany him and continue to discuss official matters or take dictation. Among those who received this “privilege” was Katherine Graham, publisher of the Washington Post.”

That is true power.

Imagine that you have so much power that you can tell people to follow you into the shitter while you do your business and they continue working? I can’t even wrap my mind around how awesome that is. I know I have been in the bathroom with myself and wished that I didn’t have to be in there because of the smells coming from my body. Can you imagine being forced to be in there with a guy that makes this face:


That is the face of someone that can truly lay some heinous bricks in the john.

Now I have so many questions about this:

1) Did he mercy flush? - Or did he figure he already had you by the balls by being in there that he didn’t need to do it?

2) Did anyone light a match while they were in there or were they afraid to because they thought they would offend him?-

What is the rule of thumb on this manners wise? You are with the leader of the free world, is it consider impolite to infer that his shit stinks? If it happened in a third world country, would you get executed?

3) Did he ever make a blumpkin joke?- I just have to know. He could have just said, “Well since, you are in here.”

4) If he was reading an important document did he ask someone to wipe him?- Get Robert McNamara in here, he is the most efficient. (That joke is like 50% funnier if you know who McNamara is, wow I am a geek for even referencing him.)

5) At what point did this become protocol?- At what point does an oddity become something that is expected? Was it brought up in a meeting, was there a memo released? Were people bitching about it in the West Wing? “Did you hear about the new shitter rule Jim?”"Did I hear about it? I had a meeting with him after Taco night.”

What do you think is the ultimate display in power? And if I shit would you follow?

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

194 Responses to “The Best Display of Real Power That I Have Ever Read About”

  1. says:

    [quote comment="4078"]First the Tooth Fairy, followed closely by the Easter Bunny and Santa…and now this?\par
    I am sorry to destroy the myth

  2. says:

    Hello old chap!\par
    The sad truth is that brittish youth would do anything to be american and have a really bad “little brother complex”. I should know as the youth of Sweden aspire to be like the kids in the UK AND US but are to scared to go all the way with it.\par
    Guess why I’m moving to the other side of the world? Teenagers scare me and if I stay much longer I will be sent to prison soon for putting my foot down one of their throats when they are screaming to the latest hip-hop crap on the tube during rush hour.\par
    Ta now!\par
    PS. I think all people are stupid, has nothing to do with BMI and/or nationality.

  3. says:

    [quote comment="4081"]Anyone who uses the following: LOL, cos, ur, etc outside of texting or im’ing is an idiot. And even then…\par
    Yes, I hold LOL in contempt- I said it! LMAO, and the like are slightly better to me, but not really. You can’t take the time to type “you are”- really? Really?!\par
    I am a big lover of slang but when people get lazy while typing hate mail I draw the line. Don’t they know it takes the sting out of their vitriol to have the reader laugh at their stupidity?[/quote]\par
    I totally just said LOL outloud… I lol’d you in real life… blech

  4. says:

    [quote comment="4083"]I used to think of the English as having some of the classiness we dumb yanks always seem to expect – then I spent some time getting to know them. Fucak all mate – talk about inbred yokels.\par
    I much prefer the Aussies – no pretense, no arrogance.[/quote]\par
    and they have that cool chant… aussie, aussie, aussie

  5. says:

    [quote comment="4084"]Hence, why all my relationships with British men have been doomed – at least they aren’t as reserved in bed… Ok, I should get back in my box now.[/quote]\par
    Just when it started to get good

  6. says:

    [quote comment="4088"]\par
    PS. I think all people are stupid, has nothing to do with BMI and/or nationality.[/quote]\par
    I am learning that slowly.

  7. says:

    Do we really expect so much from those people, many of whom still walk around with something akin to algae on their teeth?

  8. says:

    the english to me conjur up nothing but bad teeth. crooked, brown, gappy teeth.

  9. says:

    It wouldn’t be so sad if all of the missives weren’t so mock worthy. Most of the Brits I know give me a hard time for my assault on the English language and here are prime examples of why I just ignore the stodgy folks whose familes could obviously afford education beyond the pale.\par
    A sycophant is an ass kisser. There should have been a question mark after “What gives…” A conjunction such as “and” should be properly balanced. What is on one side of the conjunction should be represented on the other. Does no nation make their children do sentence diagrams anymore? Was I truly the last age group tortured by the infernal things? What about using dictionaries? Are the youth of today so sappily assured of their syntax and meaning that they have no qualms about making sure the words they are abusing actually and accurately fit the sentence and use to which they’ve been applied?\par
    If any of these Illiterati (yes, I made it up and I like the word) had spent a moment they would have exercised a brain cell long enough to realize that after Jon-Benet and Natalie Holloway (my, my mama and daddy are dating) that the United States is full-up of this sort of biased reporting. Where is their outrage over the two teens who stole a black toddler, killed the boy then dismembered his body along railroad tracks at the turn of the new century? The media frenzy was rather limp and lifeless. Then there was the black youngster who disappeared and reappeared only as a headless torso some weeks after (late 1990s). He had been kidnapped in London and sold into use for some extreme blood-based ritual. I don’t recall a huge outcry then for his safe return, his face platered all over the news. In fact, there was mild shock, outrage and disgust and a mild dose of media looking for his mystery killer. Instead the outlets’ stories focused on how weird foreign faiths were making a mess on English soil.\par
    Basically, they can all shut the fuck up. Regardless of location.

  10. says:

    [quote comment="4067"]I’m a fat and stupid dude from Texas![/quote]\par
    Stand tall and be proud

  11. says:

    I’m kind of an anglophile, although that doesn’t mean that I have an idealized picture of the British in my head. I suppose it’s that they’re unfamiliar…even their idiots are unfamiliar idiots, whereas I know what Americans are like. Sigh.

  12. says:

    Aw kev,\par
    You are right, that is disappointing hate mail.\par
    If you do the Di blog out of spite..\par
    Well, I can only imagine what you will get!\par
    I still think you should go with the “Puff” piece I told you about!

  13. says:

    im english and im proud !!! i know you lot over there dont really understand us, but some of us do like going out getting trashed and having a good time ( northeners )(but you can pick on people in south they are like that ) (lol) ,i agree on the maddie thing though to a point,

  14. says:

    lol even my spelling crap lol

  15. says:

    I cannot belive people can get so bent out of shape over a blog.\par
    I gave u my 2 cents about the blog, I agreed 100%\par
    I’m gonna google some random fat kids now because its my day off, and fat kids make me giggle.. ;) \par
    Happy monday!

  16. says:

    My boyfriend went to London and a guy tried to mug him. Remembering that there are no guns in England, and the mugger didn’t even have a knife, and Boyfriend had about 5 inches and 50 lbs on the mugger he wasn’t having it. The conversation went like this,\par
    Brit Mugger: Give me your money!\par
    Boyfriend: Why?\par
    Brit Mugger: I’m mugging you.\par
    Boyfriend: No you’re not.\par
    Brit Mugger: Can I have your money?\par
    Boyfriend: You can’t ask to rob me!!\par
    Brit Mugger: That’s logical.\par
    All in all the mugger didn’t get his money and ended up showing Boyfriend a cool Pub where the mugger bought him a couple of pints. It was quite surreal. The guy was quite polite.

  17. says:

    Well, I totally thought that the English would be able to spell better than we do. I guess I was totally wrong on that assumption.\par
    But I have always envisoned them being prim and proper. I would have never thought they would have said fucktards. I thought that it was just a US thing.\par
    But whenever I hear english people speak, it reminds me of the kelloggs commercial. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQNKuXkOR0U\par
    Makes me laugh everytime.

  18. says:

    Being half Irish and half Jamaican, I may have it out a bit for the English, that being said: they’re hypocritical bastards that have been dropping the ball from the Suez Crisis all the way up till right here and now with the Iraqi debacle. If I have to listen to one more snide limey bastard shit talk about OUR policies, I swear to St. George I’m gonna throw a cuppa on someone.

  19. says:

    [quote comment="4086"][quote comment="4082"]I hate the poms cos they think us Aussies are just a bunch of convicts![/quote]\par
    What the fuck is a pom?[/quote]\par
    Aussie slang for a proper englishman:\par
    Pom, pommy : an Englishman\par
    Pommy bastard : an Englishman\par
    Pommy shower : using deodorant instead of taking a shower\par
    Pommy’s towel, as dry as a : very dry – based on the canard that Poms bathe about once a month\par
    I knew all that time in Oz would pay off one day.

  20. says:

    I think Eddie Izzard, a Brit nonetheless, summed up the british attitude towards the rest of the world… they put their hands over their ears and go la la la la we’re not listening.\par
    I 100% agree with you that if the kid was black or in any way not of the ruling caucasion class it wouldn’t have gotten near the same amount of press coverage. This fact has been over and over here in the states.\par
    I toast you

  21. says:

    WOW!!! i am so heart broken i cant believe they talk like that i really thought they all talked like propper and with cute cockney accents and all that jazz! i really cant believe it!!!

  22. says:

    England is full of people running around saying “tally-ho”, in the same way that Scotland is full of hairy ginger men in kilts shouting “you may take our lives…”\par
    Come to Scotland and we can laugh at the English from a safe distance.\par
    p.s. everyone secretly loves to laugh at fat kids

  23. says:

    “Chip, chip, cheerio\’e2\’80\’a6 Lord Falkenberry.”\par
    P.S. – It’s not the English we need to be worried about…it’s the French.

  24. says:

    As a Texan, I take exception to being associated with obesity and stupidity. I am neither of those, and while I realize the remark was a bit tongue-in-cheek on your part, I’m probably smarter than the combination of all your hate-mailers from the UK, so sod off, old chap. :-)

  25. says:

    as a brit i have to say that most types of people who use terms such as ‘fair do’s’ are the type of neo-chauvs which really need to be dispatched\par
    if you like i shall give you a good old example of classic british complaining\par
    ‘how do you do kevin\par
    one was terribly offended by your article regarding madeline mccann i truly hope that you die in some form of accident’\par
    please note thats hypothetical i actually agree with your article

  26. says:

    I suppose I agreed with your original Madeleine McCann article but at the end of the day you’ve gotta remember that the longer the story is kept in the media and the more aware people are of it the more chance that she’ll be found. Can you blame her parents for ‘hogging’ the spotlight when it means there’s a better chance of their little girl being found? I guess they should be thanking you for giving the story a little more coverage then Kevin :p\par
    And I envisage Americans as fat, ignorant, uncultured lovable morons (from Texas).

  27. says:

    when i think of england all i can envision is MARY POPPINS…with dick van dyke doing a horrible english accent but how can you not love him?

  28. says:

    Out-fucking-standing Kevin! As a Brit living in Texas I have a foot in both camps as it were. I don’t speak (or spell) like Vinnie Jones or the Gallaghers and we absolutely ALL dress like the powdered fops in the picture. The whole Madeleine McCann thing gets right on my tits too. There is a direct correlation with UK media exposure on missing kids (only cute ones of course) and the proximity to school holidays. The McCann child went missing around spring half-term and the massive tabloid coverage serves to whip everyone into a frenzy on the perceived danger to their kids during the holidays. The sad truth is that kids go missing every day of the year and very few of them receive such coverage. And yeah, what the hell were they doing leaving a four year old unattended?\par
    Oh and most Texans are fat and stupid!

  29. says:

    Hey Kevin, that blog was politically incorrect but I still liked it. I know you don’t hate missing children. Most of us ‘got it’ (I think), I guess alot of people didn’t. That’s life.\par
    It doesn’t really surprise me that there are Brits that can’t spell or make any sense out of words because it’s a global problem. I think United Nations should address it. ASAP.

  30. says:

    Honestly, I think of all English people to be like my Mother’s family. It is for this reason that I’m afraid to ever go.

  31. says:

    I don’t know about imagining the English to sound prim and proper, but i do hear a jolly old accent when I think about them. I sort of have a mental image of Dick Van Dyke from Mary Poppins in my head, and it goes without saying that all the English are chimmney sweepers in their spare time LOL

  32. says:

    I was gone for the day and I got a shitload of good comments.\par
    First of all the dick van dyke references are killing me because that is all I can hear in my head.\par
    Second, I guess people are dumb everywhere, I just want the British to be prim and proper.\par
    I have to run otherwise I would just hit here and comment back but I am in the process of selling my car… fun and good times.

  33. says:

    [quote post="619"]Here is a shinning example of English hate mail:[/quote]\par
    oh KEV!..\par
    you committed the classic blunder (and no it’s NOT about land wars in Asia)!\par
    never make call out other’s spelling and grammar while @ the same time making a spelling error.\par
    it’s okay though.\par
    i still FREAKING love you.

  34. says:

    [quote post="619"]never make call out other\’e2\’80\’99s spelling[/quote]\par
    wow. talk about irony.

  35. says:

    LMAO… yup got some hate mail from Brits myself. usually they are very clever and witty but the haters all seem to be\par
    b)dumb as fuck\par
    and yes. most of them do not know how to spell. I mean if you are going to tear apart a blog. at least use spell checker so you don’t come off sounding like an idiot. nice one bruv.

  36. says:

    [quote comment="4086"][quote comment="4082"]I hate the poms cos they think us Aussies are just a bunch of convicts![/quote]\par
    What the fuck is a pom?[/quote]\par
    Sorry.. I forget.. you dont speak Aussie.. it aussie for British. Generally used as “F*ing Pom!”

  37. says:

    This one is just for you then.\par
    “Oh I say, you utter cad – profiteering your blog and the expense of a domestic tragedy. You should be hung, drawn and quartered or at the very least soundly thrashed and made to stand in the corner without any tea. You are a bounder of the lowest order and not very nice.\par
    “You clearly need to be put in your place and I am sure my fellow members of the great and glorious British Empire will join me in not talking to you for a week.\par
    “Let that be a lesson to you!”\par
    Is that better? Sadly we Brits don’t talk like that and only do so when taking the piss out of toffs like Prince Charley. I have no doubt that a bit of stiff upperlippedness remains where there is enough family wealth to sustain it but sadly the average Brit brat has about as much brains as an American… (did you notice the insult – of course you did, which means that there are us types that think and those types that couldn’t type a good insult if they tried.)\par
    …and anyway us “well typed” British subjects are far to occupied doing complex things that your foreign chaps couldn’t possibly understand.\par
    Or something like that.\par
    Cheer up – it ain’t all bad. Next time you feel you need a good insulting just drop me a line.

  38. says:

    you would of thought that reading a single thing i had ever written would of destroyed your belief we can spell months ago

  39. says:

    I thought the same thing! I always had this preconceived notion that all people from the UK were always prim and proper. Well, at least that’s how they come across in movies, and other places. Like there was a Facebook group I saw where a bunch of English people were bashing Americans because of our intelligence and somehow we’re dumber than them because we “butcher the English language and ‘American-ize’ it.” But then you come across people like the person you got hatemail from or most anyone from the UK on myspace, that totally makes people who think like that look stupid too. Or maybe it’s just the cool accent they have that makes us think they should be very proper. I don’t know. And I don’t like your comment about Texas, just so you know. I’m normal-sized and from Texas, and I’m not stupid. Why is it, just like we think all people from the UK are prim and proper, that people think all people from Texas are a bunch of slow-talking, stupid people who like to wear Wranglers, ride horses, wear cowboy hats all the time and big belt buckles?

  40. says:

    [quote post="619"]you would of thought[/quote]\par
    oh my.\par
    are you trying to be tounge-in-cheek about spelling/grammar?\par
    or was that intentional.\par
    I would HAVE thought you would know better.\par

  41. says:

    #1 Tourette’s Syndrome (I’ve wanted that for years!)\par
    #2 Magical super-appliance. You know, shrink ray, tele-porter, time-machine, combo thingy\par
    #3 A “Monkey-fight” theme bar with a basement full of hungry alligators\par
    #4 I would buy Ryan Seacrest and Doug Henning\par
    I would then use said shrink ray to make a pocket-sized Doug Henning (great for parties!) and throw Seacrest to the gators.

  42. says:

    5) The president. I want to be the next Dickhead Cheney\par
    4) All of my band equiment for myself and my friends, top of the line stuff. That way, we can blast our music throughout town.\par
    3) Donald Trumps hairstylist so I can kill him.\par
    2) Avril Lavigne. She’ll be along with the Donald’s hairstylist.\par

  43. says:

    My friend started saying “LOL”, “LMAO”, and “JK” in everyday conversations with people. He thinks it makes him sound cool.

  44. says:

    I’m late to the fray on this, but did want to make the point that most Americans seem to forget …\par
    England DOES NOT = UK\par
    England is but a part of the UK just as California, say, is a part of the US with the U=United be it US or UK.\par
    Apart from that believe what you want.

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