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Jun
13

The Best Display of Real Power That I Have Ever Read About

By: Bobby Finstock on 06/13/07 @ 4:35 am

People talk about power all the time; the power to impact other people, the power to make money, the power to run the government…

All of that is well and good, I get why people would crave it.

Being a history major… er having a Bachelors in History, I have been able to study a lot of people and groups that had power. It was impressive to learn about great leaders, generals, activists, and individuals, but in all honesty I wasn’t moved to a point of amazement until I read about LBJ.

lbj

Now I am not going to go on and talk about the Presidency of Lyndon Baines Johnson, I want the people reading to actually stay awake. I will however, talk about the one single thing that impressed me so much, that had me so amazed, that had me so flabbergasted, that in the end made him my favorite President ever. Here is a quote from Wikipedia:

“Johnson, while using the White House bathroom, was known to insist that others accompany him and continue to discuss official matters or take dictation. Among those who received this “privilege” was Katherine Graham, publisher of the Washington Post.”

That is true power.

Imagine that you have so much power that you can tell people to follow you into the shitter while you do your business and they continue working? I can’t even wrap my mind around how awesome that is. I know I have been in the bathroom with myself and wished that I didn’t have to be in there because of the smells coming from my body. Can you imagine being forced to be in there with a guy that makes this face:

lbj

That is the face of someone that can truly lay some heinous bricks in the john.

Now I have so many questions about this:

1) Did he mercy flush? - Or did he figure he already had you by the balls by being in there that he didn’t need to do it?

2) Did anyone light a match while they were in there or were they afraid to because they thought they would offend him?-

What is the rule of thumb on this manners wise? You are with the leader of the free world, is it consider impolite to infer that his shit stinks? If it happened in a third world country, would you get executed?

3) Did he ever make a blumpkin joke?- I just have to know. He could have just said, “Well since, you are in here.”

4) If he was reading an important document did he ask someone to wipe him?- Get Robert McNamara in here, he is the most efficient. (That joke is like 50% funnier if you know who McNamara is, wow I am a geek for even referencing him.)

5) At what point did this become protocol?- At what point does an oddity become something that is expected? Was it brought up in a meeting, was there a memo released? Were people bitching about it in the West Wing? “Did you hear about the new shitter rule Jim?”"Did I hear about it? I had a meeting with him after Taco night.”

What do you think is the ultimate display in power? And if I shit would you follow?

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

194 Responses to “The Best Display of Real Power That I Have Ever Read About”

  1. says:

    [quote comment="3945"][quote comment="3943"]\par
    \par
    What’s wrong with wanting a small boat….. any more than 10 other people and I’ll be pushing people overboard.[/quote]\par
    \par
    I’ll send you a dingy then[/quote]\par
    \par
    I have a dingy. I want a catamaran.

  2. says:

    my top 5\par
    \par
    1. An Island with a hotel so I could still make money when I wasnt there.\par
    2. A water park with a private chef and bartender

  3. says:

    where did the rest of my comment go?

  4. says:

    I just watched Caddyshack last night, so I know what you mean about wanting to buy Kenny Loggins. Your life would have its own soundtrack. And it’s not like he’s doing anything anyway.

  5. says:

    [quote comment="3942"][quote comment="3939"]Just plain fat black sassy women back-up won’t do it. You gotta put them in choir robes and make them sway.\par
    \par
    And I would buy Greenland.[/quote]\par
    \par
    Choir robes? I was thinking leather.[/quote]\par
    \par
    \par
    Please let there be ample amounts of it then.

  6. says:

    #1 a Bugatti\par
    \par
    #2 Steven Tyler just so I could see that mouth in person\par
    \par
    #3 I’d fund a group of lobbyists to legalize pot nationwide\par
    \par
    #4 a completely organic house\par
    \par
    #5 a boxing match Bush Vs. Cheney

  7. says:

    1. Bill Gates\par
    “Hey check out this new Porsche I just bought.”\par
    “Wow that’s awesome – I just got a great deal on Bill Gates.”\par
    \par
    2. The Rights to all The Beatles music, then give them to Paul McCartny\par
    Paul: “Thank you!”\par
    Me: “No problem – could you play my birthday party?”\par
    \par
    3. Scientology\par
    John Travolta: “So what are going to do with Scientology?”\par
    Me: “Pee on it, make all ‘classes’ free, then add a page to ‘The Book of Dianetics’ saying: “Inspired by Paris Hilton.”\par
    \par
    4. HBO\par
    no explanation necessary\par
    \par
    5. Happiness\par
    (to quote Daniel Tosh)\par
    “They say money doesn’t buy happiness – well it buys a wave runner. Ever see somebody frown on a wave runner?”

  8. says:

    Well the disgustingly rich need their own private island staffed to the nines. I think that might be cool. And I’d get my favorite musicians to come out and play for my friends/family. Now that’s a vacation.

  9. says:

    OMG!!!\par
    *i would buy a bunch of Midgets!!!! I would keep them in cages and i would make them dance and have sex with each other just to entertain me!!!! why? cuz midgets are funny!of course they would all want to do this and they would be fed and cleaned daily!\par
    \par
    *a school so that my kids could be all snobby and say their mommy owns the school so the other kids have to be nice\par
    *the entire country of puerto rico and i would make it a law to speak english!!

  10. says:

    hmmmm, absolutely enormously over the top rich????\par
    \par
    A private jet with pilot.\par
    \par
    Yep, then I get to go where ever, when ever at any time. Yep.

  11. says:

    Hmmmmm if I was absolutely disgustingly rich I would buy:\par
    \par
    1. A Gulfstream V and a pilot\par
    2. Lamborghini Gallardo\par
    3. My own personal trainer\par
    4. The New York Yankees\par
    5. Washington Redskins\par
    6. I would open a bar where I would be every night, just so I could get drunk for free!!!\par
    \par
    My list of things I would buy is endless but these things are at the top!!

  12. says:

    [quote post="618"]You\’e2\’80\’99ll shoot your eye out, kid. [/quote]\par
    \par
    Not my eye Em Em, my pretty breen orb will be looking through the scope.\par
    \par
    I do like the Dutchman’s idea, but why on earth would he want to buy Pennsylvania? This place is a mess. But a cruise missle for the Cruise it sooo sweet. I vote for getting the chair contraption from A Clockwork Orange to make sure the twerp sees that payload headed his way.

  13. says:

    1. ‘70 Yenko Nova\par
    2. ‘69 Dodge Charger\par
    3. ‘70 Chevelle SS LS6\par
    4. ‘68 Shelby Mustang\par
    5. Ryan Reynolds

  14. says:

    [...] Finally, a little light relief from Kevin over at Pointless Banter – read about what he considers to be ‘The best display of real power that I have ever read about‘. If you don’t have a sense of humour, Kevin’s blog may offend! [...]

  15. says:

    The Peach Pit is soooo yesterday.\par
    \par
    I would hang out @ “The Max” from Saved by the Bell.\par
    \par
    And then that magician guy that worked there could make Kelly\par
    disappear so I could have Zach all to myself.

  16. says:

    Hi Kevin, You have been tagged if you want to participate. :) I did the story on Green Notes. Thanks again for the heads up. Hope you had a great weekend.

  17. says:

    So they are googling for random fat kids and it’s ok but you doing it for blog is what? Wrong? Ok whatever. I have no preconcieved images of the english, other than they all resemble monte pythons’ comedy troupe. And they all walk around acting like they are riding horses while someone walks beside them making “clomping” noises with coconuts. hehe

  18. says:

    Nice one… see, I get the great privelege of understanding both sides of the coin since I am a yank living in London.\par
    \par
    Obviously, Kev, it has been a LONG time since you have been in England. You are obviously unaware of chav-speaking and this new text language (not sure it’s scientific name) that has cropped up. Slightly worse than ebonics, but I think some of the new words are making it into the Oxford dictionary.\par
    \par
    Fucktards is a good word though, so I give that guy props!\par
    \par
    I know, you’ve missed me. You don’t need to say it.

  19. says:

    [quote comment="4052"]\par
    \par
    Obviously, Kev, it has been a LONG time since you have been in England. You are obviously unaware of chav-speaking and this new text language (not sure it’s scientific name) that has cropped up. Slightly worse than ebonics, but I think some of the new words are making it into the Oxford dictionary.\par
    \par
    [/quote]\par
    \par
    What a layover in Heathrow doesn’t count?\par
    \par
    And yes I have missed you

  20. says:

    [quote comment="4051"]. And they all walk around acting like they are riding horses while someone walks beside them making “clomping” noises with coconuts. hehe[/quote]\par
    \par
    I knew their transportation system was like that.

  21. says:

    I envision Brits as sounding like my mom and her family…. but that’s just me. They are a little prim though, I’ll admit that. Fucking Cockneys trying to lose the accents….that guy sounds like he’s a bit Chav, ’tis all.\par
    \par
    I picture Americans as fat people, period. Allah love ya.\par
    \par
    Same way you picture me as a black half-naked person in a grass hut, I suppose.

  22. says:

    [quote comment="4055"]\par
    \par
    Same way you picture me as a black half-naked person in a grass hut, I suppose.[/quote]\par
    \par
    You aren’t? I just figured your pictures on MySpace were of tourists that you killed and ate.

  23. says:

    [quote comment="4056"][quote comment="4055"]\par
    \par
    Same way you picture me as a black half-naked person in a grass hut, I suppose.[/quote]\par
    \par
    You aren’t? I just figured your pictures on MySpace were of tourists that you killed and ate.[/quote]\par
    \par
    No no no….we wear their heads until it starts to smell…

  24. says:

    First off, I totally agreed with this original post. Had this been a poor black kid form an inner American city…the media would have never given it this kind of coverage. I doubt we would have even seen anything. Maybe the English are just too stupid when it comes to American culture to relize this.

  25. says:

    [quote comment="4057"]\par
    \par
    No no no….we wear their heads until it starts to smell…[/quote]\par
    \par
    I hate to know what you do with their private parts.

  26. says:

    Americans: Normal, stupid, obnoxious, drunken and belligerent…\par
    \par
    Brits: whinging, weak, pathetic cry babies.\par
    \par
    Australians: perfect.

  27. says:

    [quote comment="4058"]First off, I totally agreed with this original post. Had this been a poor black kid form an inner American city…the media would have never given it this kind of coverage. I doubt we would have even seen anything. Maybe the English are just too stupid when it comes to American culture to relize this.[/quote]\par
    \par
    Well I couldn’t figure out what their logical argument was except for the fact I was going to hell.

  28. says:

    Are you not aware of the common vernacular & the use of the word, ‘innit?’ It is a bea-u-t-y, innit?\par
    \par
    Um, and no, Heathrow does NOT count. You lot me know if you are ever coming this way, and I’ll introduce you to some locals.\par
    \par
    I was at a pub Saturday night and this drunk Scottish guy thought foreplay was buying me a shot of goldschlager. So, I took it.. he proceeded to talk to me and for about 10 minutes, all I got was that his name was Ian. Now, that was a laugh… smile and nod, smile and nod! Oh, and thanks for the goldschlager – you are class!

  29. says:

    Hey, Texas is much better than that shithole, you call California. And the Brits are begining to learn the new lingua franca, “Internet Lingo.” Some words that are commonplace are:\par
    \par
    ur\par
    lol\par
    lawls\par
    roffles\par
    lmaol\par
    lawlz(same as above)\par
    Jenna Jameson\par
    JK\par
    JP\par
    \par
    The rules of grammar are still in the works, but bad spelling is a big plus.

  30. says:

    [quote comment="4059"][quote comment="4057"]\par
    \par
    No no no….we wear their heads until it starts to smell…[/quote]\par
    \par
    I hate to know what you do with their private parts.[/quote]\par
    \par
    Want to by a dildo? It feels real…..

  31. says:

    [quote comment="4062"]\par
    \par
    I was at a pub Saturday night and this drunk Scottish guy thought foreplay was buying me a shot of goldschlager. [/quote]\par
    \par
    Wait, buying a girl a shot isn’t foreplay?

  32. says:

    [quote comment="4063"]Hey, Texas is much better than that shithole, you call California. [/quote]\par
    \par
    I just spit my orange juice out from laughing so hard.

  33. says:

    I’m a fat and stupid dude from Texas!

  34. says:

    [quote comment="4064"]\par
    \par
    Want to by a dildo? It feels real…..[/quote]\par
    \par
    Have any plastic vagina?

  35. says:

    Please don’t judge the crappy hate mail based on the chav speak, some of us actually know how to spell and put together a well thought out argument and pictures of random fat kids are not appealing to the entire UK.\par
    \par
    I have to say “they all walk around acting like they are riding horses while someone walks beside them making \’e2\’80\’9cclomping\’e2\’80\’9d noises with coconuts” made me laugh a lot I must try that!\par
    \par
    I have to say, I agree with the post you originally made so you’ve got at least one Brit that isn’t going to be sending pointless badly written “hate mail”\par
    \par
    Keep up the good work ;)

  36. says:

    I picture more of a Sweeney Todd scenario, with crooked yellow teeth. Probably more like the people you are getting hate mail from.

  37. says:

    Well you have to remember that the UK is a nation of text messages. Everyone seems to use the Text message more than the calling. With this in mind, when your lazy and your text messaging you abbreviate. Unfortunately this has crossed over to normal typing and that’s where it all goes down hill.

  38. says:

    Once I watched a show about juvenile delinquents around the world and they came to a girl’s facility in London or something and they were showing these “bad ass” British girls. They were yelling at each other in their cute little accents trying to sound tough. I fell off the couch laughing. It was so proper sounding even for an argument I figured that must be what all angry British people sound like. Hilarious.

  39. says:

    [quote comment="4068"][quote comment="4064"]\par
    \par
    Want to by a dildo? It feels real…..[/quote]\par
    \par
    Have any plastic vagina?[/quote]\par
    \par
    Plastic? No… but we do have some lovely models with hair and genuine herpes.

  40. says:

    [quote comment="4069"]Please don’t judge the crappy hate mail based on the chav speak, some of us actually know how to spell and put together a well thought out argument and pictures of random fat kids are not appealing to the entire UK.\par
    \par
    [/quote]\par
    \par
    I heard random fat kid magazine was a huge seller over there.

  41. says:

    [quote comment="4070"]I picture more of a Sweeney Todd scenario, with crooked yellow teeth. Probably more like the people you are getting hate mail from.[/quote]\par
    \par
    Ah, that makes sense

  42. says:

    [quote comment="4072"]Once I watched a show about juvenile delinquents around the world and they came to a girl’s facility in London or something and they were showing these “bad ass” British girls. They were yelling at each other in their cute little accents trying to sound tough. I fell off the couch laughing. It was so proper sounding even for an argument I figured that must be what all angry British people sound like. Hilarious.[/quote]\par
    \par
    did they slap each other in the face with gloves?

  43. says:

    I work with an english woman, and she is totally prim and proper, even when she’s arguining with someone. I love the Gallagher brothers/Oasis reference!!

  44. says:

    First the Tooth Fairy, followed closely by the Easter Bunny and Santa…and now this?\par
    \par
    Damn.

  45. says:

    Anyone who uses the following: LOL, cos, ur, etc outside of texting or im’ing is an idiot. And even then…\par
    \par
    Yes, I hold LOL in contempt- I said it! LMAO, and the like are slightly better to me, but not really. You can’t take the time to type “you are”- really? Really?!\par
    \par
    I am a big lover of slang but when people get lazy while typing hate mail I draw the line. Don’t they know it takes the sting out of their vitriol to have the reader laugh at their stupidity?

  46. says:

    I hate the poms cos they think us Aussies are just a bunch of convicts!

  47. says:

    I used to think of the English as having some of the classiness we dumb yanks always seem to expect – then I spent some time getting to know them. Fucak all mate – talk about inbred yokels.\par
    \par
    I much prefer the Aussies – no pretense, no arrogance.

  48. says:

    Don’t even get me started on the British men. The only reason they are probably even responding to this, and getting angry about your posts is that they can’t confront people or share their feelings with real human beings. Yes, I still think it is completely bass ackwards here in regards to human emotions… ‘musn’t grumble’ as they like to say. Hence, why all my relationships with British men have been doomed – at least they aren’t as reserved in bed… Ok, I should get back in my box now.

  49. says:

    [quote comment="4077"]I work with an english woman, and she is totally prim and proper, even when she’s arguining with someone. I love the Gallagher brothers/Oasis reference!![/quote]\par
    \par
    gotta love the English

  50. says:

    [quote comment="4082"]I hate the poms cos they think us Aussies are just a bunch of convicts![/quote]\par
    \par
    What the fuck is a pom?

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