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Jun
11

Why I Love Craigslist.com Reason Number 439

By: Bobby Finstock on 06/11/07 @ 5:10 am

In the last year I have admittedly become a Craigslist addict. Besides all the fun tranny and hooker games one can play I also love going to the rants and raves section of the site. In that section you will find: the most hateful posts known to man, poor spelling, abhorrent human behavior, racists, and a list of other great stuff. While all that really entertains me, the stuff that really makes my day is the anonymous slams against another person that they know in the real world.

I don’t understand why people post these on the site, are they just venting or is there a sincere hope that one day someone is going to be reading the rant and rave section on craigslist and say, “Holy shit, I think they are talking about me, am I the “bowlegged hoe” this person is talking about?”

Here is a smattering of some of my favorite posts from the weekend, with my commentary to go with it.

nasty melissa (29) in t.o

you wonder why you are single, get a sense of humor. Also the face that looks like joker from batman isint helping either.

(Sure you have to ignore the typo but the joker reference always warms my heart because usually it is right on, so somewhere in thousand oaks California there is a girl name Melissa with a long ass face and a freaky grin. I think everyone knows at least one person that they can make the joker reference about… Sarah C from High School, please step forward.)

fugly ventura chick

how is the single life treating you, are you still bitter and angry as usual?

(Now when you say “fugly ventura chick” you pretty much named 90% of the female population of Ventura so you know that comment will have at least a handful of people driving to work angry. The thing is the bitter and angry comment is ruined because this person is posting a snotty comment on the internet, doesn’t that look more bitter and angry?)

Stupid lazy cunt….

So this woman and I saw this nice TV that my neighbors are giving away.
It’s a huge TV and I couldnt lift it by myself. I was there first, and
so was my husband to help me. Then her husband comes up and says
“That’s ours”. I didn’t want to make a scene in front of my neighbors,
as I’m sure they already think oddly about me since my family is the
black sheep on the street… so I let the other family have it. My rant
is that clearly I was there first, and she knew it. I was still the
bigger person, but I still want to show her my backhand for being such
a slimey little cunt-rag. FUCK! Watch out VC…. I’m majorly PMSing,
and I won’t hesitate to kill a man! (slight sarcasm)

(I don’t know why I love this post so much, I like cried the first four time I read it from laughing so hard. You know this is an argument that is designed for the People’s Court. Is there anything better than people arguing and fighting over an item someone leaves out in their yard with a “free” sign on it? All I can think of is Richie Valens brother in La Bamba stealing the cartoon stuff from Warner Brothers.)

noise curfew!!!

OMG!!! This is going out the the jack ass construction workers that are
remodeling the apartment about mine!!! FUCK YOU ASSHOLES!!! Theres a
fucking noise curfew it’s no CONSTRUCTION NOISE BERFORE 7AM, and AFTER
7PM… make all the noise you want in between that time, but for shits
sake, SHUT UP!!! Last night you were there till fuckin’ 1030PM, and I
had to call the COPS ON YOUR STUPID ASSES!!! Of corse you play dumb a
pretend that you all of a sudden don’t understand english… thanks
lying beaners!! and then again after that shits over, you have the
NURVE TO COME BACK AT 5 AM THIS MORNING AND START AGAIN!! So, HA!! and
up yours!! I called the COPS AGAIN!!!, don’t like it tough shit, 1 more
time of this bullshit, and I’ll make sure INS gets involved!! SHOW SOME
RESPECT!!!

(This post here embodies everything that is right in a craigslist post: racist, horrible spelling mistakes, annoying caps, and threats that nobody will ever get.)

FAT WOMEN AND PT CRUISERS?????

What is up with every fat woman driving a PT Cruiser? Everytime I see a
PT Cruiser I know that there is a 95% chance of it being driven by a
fat lady. I also know if I see one with a handicap placard hanging from
the rearview mirror, the person is not legitamately handicap, but just
fat, overweight, and lazy. I think when Rosie O’donnel bought one, she
started a trend for every fat ass woman in America. If you drive a PT
Cruiser, take a look at yourself; you are probably a fat slob that
wears sweats and moo-moos everywhere. Do me a favour and tint your
windows so I don’t have to actually see your fat asses.

(Greatest.Post.Ever)

So there you have a smattering of what is available to you on Craigslist.com, so why don’t you take a second to go to your local Craigslist and share some of the greatness in the rant and rave section.

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

44 Responses to “Why I Love Craigslist.com Reason Number 439”

  1. John--Softball Stud says:

    First?

  2. Kevin says:

    yes you are

  3. Em Em says:

    Those are hilarious. If you ever want to sell something quickly, Craigslist is definitely the way to go. I sold a car within 6 hours of the time I posted it up on there. I was shocked.

  4. cigar smoking, hung over lawyer says:

    I think I may have to sign up and start reading the rants section! It is liek your comments section but juiced up lke Barry Bonds.

  5. Inga says:

    My absolute favourite part of this whole blog is the “Ads by Google” at the bottom for fat women and even big fat women that you can date… oh, and also to see their fat admirers!!! Awesome!

    10 Kudos for that!

  6. Kevin says:

    [quote comment="3652"]I think I may have to sign up and start reading the rants section! It is liek your comments section but juiced up lke Barry Bonds.[/quote]

    It is beyond juiced up, you sit there and read it just shaking your head.

  7. Kevin says:

    [quote comment="3653"]My absolute favourite part of this whole blog is the “Ads by Google” at the bottom for fat women and even big fat women that you can date… oh, and also to see their fat admirers!!! Awesome!

    10 Kudos for that![/quote]

    You gotta love that contextual advertising.

  8. Kevin says:

    [quote comment="3651"]Those are hilarious. If you ever want to sell something quickly, Craigslist is definitely the way to go. I sold a car within 6 hours of the time I posted it up on there. I was shocked.[/quote]

    I actually have to sell my car… this might be the way to go.

  9. Jimmy says:

    [quote comment="3649"]First?[/quote]
    It’s “First with Kudos” in order to get first here. Since you propably did not know, then I will let it slide

  10. Fiona says:

    Holy crap, that PT Cruiser one is priceless. The craiglist stuff for the caribbean sucks. It’s not at all entertaining and just full of whores and men trying to pick up whores.

  11. Inga says:

    [quote comment="3655"]

    You gotta love that contextual advertising.[/quote]

    Ssscch! I’m looking for Big Fat Women to date now!

  12. Kevin says:

    [quote comment="3658"]Holy crap, that PT Cruiser one is priceless. The craiglist stuff for the caribbean sucks. It’s not at all entertaining and just full of whores and men trying to pick up whores.[/quote]

    Oh that is still going on at the one here, but you get some diamonds in the rough like these.

  13. Christina says:

    Personally for me above and beyond the rants and raves section, the hookers advertising on craigslist is my favorite. Especially the pictures some of them post. I know that when I lived in the DC area, that my friends and I would look at the pics to play a game about guessing if the pics were really a man or a woman advertising sex!! Great way to start the day!!!

  14. Fiona says:

    [quote comment="3660"][quote comment="3658"]Holy crap, that PT Cruiser one is priceless. The craiglist stuff for the caribbean sucks. It’s not at all entertaining and just full of whores and men trying to pick up whores.[/quote]

    Oh that is still going on at the one here, but you get some diamonds in the rough like these.[/quote]

    I want diamonds damnit.

  15. Kevin says:

    [quote comment="3661"]Personally for me above and beyond the rants and raves section, the hookers advertising on craigslist is my favorite. Especially the pictures some of them post. I know that when I lived in the DC area, that my friends and I would look at the pics to play a game about guessing if the pics were really a man or a woman advertising sex!! Great way to start the day!!![/quote]

    I love looking up hookers on Craiglist, it is fun trying to figure out if it is a spam site or real or what the deal is.

  16. Christina says:

    [quote post="614"]I love looking up hookers on Craiglist, it is fun trying to figure out if it is a spam site or real or what the deal is. [/quote]
    Well as Im sure you have found out most of the ones are spam but I did have a friend of mine that decided to call a number that one of the chicks left on her post and he actually met her errrr maybe I should say him. Needless to say, in the ad she portrayed herself as a female, but she wasn’t quite born with the right equipment to be a female. He totally felt like a dumbass and hasn’t lived it down to this day!!

  17. sporkgasm says:

    there is actually a “best of craigslist” that comes out once a month with all of the good ones. it is seriously the highlight of my month. and come to think of it, the pt cruiser one is totally true. hmmmm.

  18. AMANDA says:

    I’m still trying to figure out how in the hell this works. WHATEVER.

  19. emilymarion says:

    I am addicted to CL. I actually found my job on CL. I also got my cat from CL (i had to pick it up free from these people who really looked like crack addicts though)..

    I have sold a few things on CL – which can be so much work since there are way to many flaky people or people who are just plain cheap and try to haggle down your $10 item.

    and i’ll admit it..I have posted a person add. I am actually dating the person now – but we did e-mail/talk for 7 months before we went on a date a few month ago (we both had to make sure we were not crazy)

  20. Suzi says:

    Craiglist is the one-stop place for sex, furniture, concert tickets and jobs. It’s free, too!

    My friend dared me to post a person ad, and within seconds, I had a monsterload of emails. After about 2 hours of fun reading all the cut-n-paste responses and the accompanying bullshit, felt dirty and gross and deleted my ad, But not dirty enough I guess because I wrote back 2 of them, and we’re still friends. And the furniture was fine.
    Those crack addicts must have really been jonesing there in Beverly Hills where I picked up my glass end table for $20.

  21. Jeff says:

    Well for me it’s all about the meaningless sex hook ups..LOL.

  22. Kevin says:

    [quote comment="3662"][quote comment="3660"][quote comment="3658"]Holy crap, that PT Cruiser one is priceless. The craiglist stuff for the caribbean sucks. It’s not at all entertaining and just full of whores and men trying to pick up whores.[/quote]

    Oh that is still going on at the one here, but you get some diamonds in the rough like these.[/quote]

    I want diamonds damnit.[/quote]

    Stick a piece of coal up your ass. I hear that works.

  23. Kevin says:

    [quote comment="3664"][quote post="614"]I love looking up hookers on Craiglist, it is fun trying to figure out if it is a spam site or real or what the deal is. [/quote]
    Well as Im sure you have found out most of the ones are spam but I did have a friend of mine that decided to call a number that one of the chicks left on her post and he actually met her errrr maybe I should say him. Needless to say, in the ad she portrayed herself as a female, but she wasn’t quite born with the right equipment to be a female. He totally felt like a dumbass and hasn’t lived it down to this day!![/quote]

    That.is.classic

  24. Kevin says:

    [quote comment="3667"]there is actually a “best of craigslist” that comes out once a month with all of the good ones. it is seriously the highlight of my month. and come to think of it, the pt cruiser one is totally true. hmmmm.[/quote]

    I have posted a few things on there that have been nominated… I think it is my goal to make it.

  25. Kevin says:

    [quote comment="3668"]I’m still trying to figure out how in the hell this works. WHATEVER.[/quote]

    Well your comment posted, so you must have it figured out on some level.

  26. Kevin says:

    [quote comment="3669"]

    and i’ll admit it..I have posted a person add. I am actually dating the person now – but we did e-mail/talk for 7 months before we went on a date a few month ago (we both had to make sure we were not crazy)[/quote]

    Bullshit you know you totally posted in the casual encounters section

  27. Kevin says:

    [quote comment="3670"]Craiglist is the one-stop place for sex, furniture, concert tickets and jobs. It’s free, too!
    [/quote]

    Really what more can you ask for?

  28. Kevin says:

    [quote comment="3671"]Well for me it’s all about the meaningless sex hook ups..LOL.[/quote]

    well that should be the goal

  29. sherij says:

    Ha! Craigslist is one of those places you go when you are feeling down about yourself.

    As soon as I see guys posting full frontal shots, i know I am better off home alone on a saturday night.

  30. Seamus says:

    LOL this totally reminds me of the saying fighting on the internet is like the special olympics. Even if you win, your still retarded.

  31. Basamanowicz says:

    what’s this?? Am I commenting?

  32. Kevin says:

    [quote comment="3685"]what’s this?? Am I commenting?[/quote]

    yup you are

  33. Kevin says:

    [quote comment="3682"]Ha! Craigslist is one of those places you go when you are feeling down about yourself.

    As soon as I see guys posting full frontal shots, i know I am better off home alone on a saturday night.[/quote]

    that is always a boost to your decision making process

  34. Kevin says:

    [quote comment="3683"]LOL this totally reminds me of the saying fighting on the internet is like the special olympics. Even if you win, your still retarded.[/quote]

    It is the inane letter to the editor on steroids.

  35. Not the Mama says:

    Hmmm, this is the first thing that has made me want to check out craigslist…. I wonder if I’ll do it today or forget about it and remember next week?

    Am I really missing anything????

  36. Gwenivere has a bunny! says:

    Note to self: don’t trade in Toyota for PT Cruiser. Oh, and lose 10 lbs. also!

  37. russ says:

    I feel compelled to look at Craigs list to find these rants you speak of. That shyte sounds hilarious.

  38. Jen says:

    I miss you on the myspace. It’s not the same. BUT I figured since you were writing about craigslist…i had to comment. I was overjoyed to discover the “best of craigslist” and just want to say thank you to whoever wrote this post: (there was a guy on a tall unicycle who would ride on the side streets home from school…i hated that man)

    Dear Guy on a Really High Seated Bike,

    Why must you ride your high seated bike around town? Will not a normal bike do? Are you looking for attention? Did your parents not hold you enough as a baby? Perhaps you want to join the circus.

    Guy seated on a really high bike. What moves you so to ride perched so high in the sky? Is it you wanting to look down in disdain at the people below? And how do you seat yourself on such a high mount? Need you a ladder? A jetpack? What happens when you stop?

    I despise you on-a-high-seated-bike man. You attention-seeking cyclist. You do not amuse me. You do not amaze me. I am not fascinated by your high bike. I ignore you.

    If I had a stick, I would stick it in your spokes. Oh, then how you would fly — an Icarus on wheels, traveling too close to the sun. And what glee would shine upon me, when I witnessed you tumbling down to the Earth below.

    if you’d like to see a pic of the guy on a really high seated bike then go here: http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/min/282079400.html

  39. Alicia {Mom~o} says:

    [quote comment="3700"]I was overjoyed to discover the “best of craigslist” and just want to say thank you to whoever wrote this post: (there was a guy on a tall unicycle who would ride on the side streets home from school…i hated that man)

    Dear Guy on a Really High Seated Bike….

    That is hilarious! Made me forget what my original comment was..er..we had one of those guys in our end of town. How can it be so annoying??? And yet it is, even when you’re 8.

  40. Another Geovernment Emplpoyee says:

    Here in Atlanta we have actual forum like discussions on the evils of Zionist bankers and how Hitler was a misunderstood soul who actually was friends with the Jews and they stabbed him in the back.

    Then, of course, you have the beaner rants.

  41. LoneStarBrit says:

    OMG I had no idea, I thought Craigslist was just like Ebay, I need to go check this out, for the psychotic rants, not the meaningless hookups, of course.

  42. Alicia {Mom~o} says:

    2 kudos…love the crazy rants. The poor spelling is what really gets me going…it’s a nice touch that makes me wonder if their real intentions were getting mocked in your blog. Hahaha.

  43. i wasnt born with enough middle fingers says:

    that is horrible! loL! i just discovered that crazy site!! dear lord!

  44. vcerenzio says:

    How about we start comparing the stupid ads that are being shown to us on TV? Is it just me or have the ads been playing to our inability to see that they think we relly are a stupid audience. Example; the new STAPLES all out of ink for the copier, do we really carry on like the idiot in the ad? If i carried on like that, I’d be fired on the spot!

    There are other ads out there that do the same, let’s let them know that we do not need to be treated like the idiots that they think we are!

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