Ladies, Don’t Listen to Yahoo for Relationship Advice

I hate when I go to the homepage of Yahoo.com and see a relationship advice story as the featured article. The relationship stories on Yahoo give some of the worst advice known to man, right on par with my 3rd grade teacher telling me when a girl says no she really means yes. (He always was a little creepy.)

Yesterday when I got on the net I saw this article, Who’s REALLY Threatening Your Relationship? Basically it was a guide to women of the four “types” of other women that are threats to ruin your relationship. They list the four threats to ruining your relationship with your male companions as:

Co-Worker
The Drunk Stranger
The Ex
The Opposite Sex Friend

Wow thanks for the insight Yahoo, way to really narrow it down and get specific. Basically they narrowed it down to 50% of the women a guy comes into contact with a day, way to be on point with that. I can’t wait for sexual awareness week next year when they do the in depth study of people most likely to molest a child: catholic priests, guys with weird vans, and Michael Jackson.

I decided to actually give the ladies out there some valuable information and talk about four people you do need to be concerned with.

The slutty single mom friend- While I have the utmost respect for single mothers, there are some the have especially casual moral attitudes. Follow the logic on this, you are a woman removed from a relationship. You have to work full time to help support your child or children, when you aren’t at work you are surrounded by said kid (s), so when it is time to let your hair down you don’t screw around.

I contend that single mothers on the prowl are sluttier than your average everyday girl. If your husband/boyfriend is friends with one or works with one she will be one of the people you will need to watch. The thing is because their life is so hectic they know what they want and will do what they need to get it. Plus they don’t get needy and they are usually discreet, a warm penis is better than a vibrator 67% of the time.

His Asian Masseuse- I hate to tell you if he goes for a massage once or twice a month it is a rub and tug, while therapeutic, it isn’t the same thing Hans gives you at the spa.

He goes there for internationally trafficked, sex worker poon… on the cheap too.

A waitress at his favorite lunch spot or a bartender in his favorite bar- There isn’t a connection between you and her, with a co-worker or a personal friend the odds are that you probably know them. Unless she is a vindictive bitch that hates you, there is some sort of moral barrier there where they might think twice about sleeping with your man.

But a girl that your man sees a few times a week at lunch has no such barrier. Plus they only see each other for brief moments, making it so he totally cannot fuck things up, basically he is always putting his best foot forward. If he tips well and has some sort of a personality he might leave a positive impression, which leads to more flirting and eventually a roll in the hay. Hell I would sleep with someone that tipped well and was funny… But I am a whore that way.

The internet girl- Here is a riddle, what lives hundreds of miles away in a town your dude visits occasionally for business, has extremely low self esteem, and has plenty of time on her hands? The slutty girl from the internet that your guy is carrying on an illicit affair with.

So there you have it ladies, you shouldn’t let your man on a computer, in a restaurant, in a bar, near a single mom, or within 50 miles of a massage parlor. Have fun living your entire life in fear and always wondering if any of these potential hook ups are out there.

P.S.- If you actually follow any relationship advice on Yahoo.com you should either end your life or become a nun.

What other sub group has the best chance of totally fucking up your relationship?