Ladies, Don’t Listen to Yahoo for Relationship Advice
I hate when I go to the homepage of Yahoo.com and see a relationship advice story as the featured article. The relationship stories on Yahoo give some of the worst advice known to man, right on par with my 3rd grade teacher telling me when a girl says no she really means yes. (He always was a little creepy.)
Yesterday when I got on the net I saw this article, Who’s REALLY Threatening Your Relationship? Basically it was a guide to women of the four “types” of other women that are threats to ruin your relationship. They list the four threats to ruining your relationship with your male companions as:
Co-Worker
The Drunk Stranger
The Ex
The Opposite Sex Friend
Wow thanks for the insight Yahoo, way to really narrow it down and get specific. Basically they narrowed it down to 50% of the women a guy comes into contact with a day, way to be on point with that. I can’t wait for sexual awareness week next year when they do the in depth study of people most likely to molest a child: catholic priests, guys with weird vans, and Michael Jackson.
I decided to actually give the ladies out there some valuable information and talk about four people you do need to be concerned with.
The slutty single mom friend- While I have the utmost respect for single mothers, there are some the have especially casual moral attitudes. Follow the logic on this, you are a woman removed from a relationship. You have to work full time to help support your child or children, when you aren’t at work you are surrounded by said kid (s), so when it is time to let your hair down you don’t screw around.
I contend that single mothers on the prowl are sluttier than your average everyday girl. If your husband/boyfriend is friends with one or works with one she will be one of the people you will need to watch. The thing is because their life is so hectic they know what they want and will do what they need to get it. Plus they don’t get needy and they are usually discreet, a warm penis is better than a vibrator 67% of the time.
His Asian Masseuse- I hate to tell you if he goes for a massage once or twice a month it is a rub and tug, while therapeutic, it isn’t the same thing Hans gives you at the spa.
He goes there for internationally trafficked, sex worker poon… on the cheap too.
A waitress at his favorite lunch spot or a bartender in his favorite bar- There isn’t a connection between you and her, with a co-worker or a personal friend the odds are that you probably know them. Unless she is a vindictive bitch that hates you, there is some sort of moral barrier there where they might think twice about sleeping with your man.
But a girl that your man sees a few times a week at lunch has no such barrier. Plus they only see each other for brief moments, making it so he totally cannot fuck things up, basically he is always putting his best foot forward. If he tips well and has some sort of a personality he might leave a positive impression, which leads to more flirting and eventually a roll in the hay. Hell I would sleep with someone that tipped well and was funny… But I am a whore that way.
The internet girl- Here is a riddle, what lives hundreds of miles away in a town your dude visits occasionally for business, has extremely low self esteem, and has plenty of time on her hands? The slutty girl from the internet that your guy is carrying on an illicit affair with.
So there you have it ladies, you shouldn’t let your man on a computer, in a restaurant, in a bar, near a single mom, or within 50 miles of a massage parlor. Have fun living your entire life in fear and always wondering if any of these potential hook ups are out there.
P.S.- If you actually follow any relationship advice on Yahoo.com you should either end your life or become a nun.
What other sub group has the best chance of totally fucking up your relationship?
On 06/6/07 at 5:37 am
said:
I’d say stripper, but that also falls under the banner of waitress…you tip well and who knows what can happen…not that I’m speaking from personal experience…nope…
On 06/6/07 at 5:42 am
said:
First with kudos?
On 06/6/07 at 5:44 am
said:
Haha, seriously awesome. But dude… really… Who reads Yahoo in general? And why would you use yahoo, of all places for even a search engine? Hm…\par
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Oh and… Slutty Single Mom, hell yes. lol
On 06/6/07 at 5:44 am
said:
FIRST WITH KUDOS!
On 06/6/07 at 5:44 am
said:
Yup, the single slutty mom is a threat. Watch out ladies, I’m coming for your husbands…
On 06/6/07 at 5:44 am
said:
Too funny…
On 06/6/07 at 5:45 am
said:
[quote comment="3336"]FIRST WITH KUDOS![/quote]\par
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Boo, that sucks that i wasnt! hahahaha Damn thing lied to me saying that i was first till i refreshed.
On 06/6/07 at 5:48 am
said:
[quote comment="3337"]Yup, the single slutty mom is a threat. Watch out ladies, I’m coming for your husbands…[/quote]\par
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Wait so you are slutty, you don’t have to be a slutty single mom. You can just be a single mom
On 06/6/07 at 5:48 am
said:
Wow, they didn’t dispense any advice for “busty blonde stripper”? Because that probably would have helped “A-Rod”’s wife…or maybe, “hotel room attendant that will tell people he raped her” which could have helped Kobe’s wife. Just a thought. =)
On 06/6/07 at 5:48 am
said:
[quote comment="3335"]Haha, seriously awesome. But dude… really… Who reads Yahoo in general? And why would you use yahoo, of all places for even a search engine? Hm…\par
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Oh and… Slutty Single Mom, hell yes. lol[/quote]\par
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I like yahoo… sniffle
On 06/6/07 at 5:58 am
said:
Totally hilarious! The slutty single mom thing is all too true. Im a single mom, but not slutty. Although I definitely have slutty single mom friends. Oh yeah, and Im a waitress but I would never cross the line with a customer even if he did tip extremely well, and we flirted. To me flirting is just a way to get men to tip me better!! Lots of kudos!!
On 06/6/07 at 6:00 am
said:
Wait so you are slutty, you don’t have to be a slutty single mom. You can just be a single mom[/quote]\par
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but it’s so much fun!
On 06/6/07 at 6:01 am
said:
Slutty single moms are fun. have known a few, been scared of a few.\par
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One group you left out is the older, but trying to look and stay young woman who dresses like her teenaged daughter.
On 06/6/07 at 6:02 am
said:
Don’t leave out the newly divorced. They’re most likely coming out of a lengthy marriage dry spell and looking to make up for lost time.
On 06/6/07 at 6:03 am
said:
[quote comment="3341"]Wow, they didn’t dispense any advice for “busty blonde stripper”? Because that probably would have helped “A-Rod”’s wife…or maybe, “hotel room attendant that will tell people he raped her” which could have helped Kobe’s wife. Just a thought. =)[/quote]\par
\par
According to the article A-Rod actually like manly type strippers.
On 06/6/07 at 6:03 am
said:
After Internet Girl it is hard ot come up with one…but the only one I can think of that was a real pain-in-the-ass almost threat was The Girl I had a Secret Crush On who ended up arriving at his reunion looking like Silicon Sally :\\
On 06/6/07 at 6:03 am
said:
Oh, the most deadly combo for a relationship is the slutty single mom who also is the waitress/bartender. They are hard to resist, kinds like lays chips - cant eat just one
On 06/6/07 at 6:04 am
said:
[quote comment="3343"]Totally hilarious! The slutty single mom thing is all too true. Im a single mom, but not slutty. Although I definitely have slutty single mom friends. Oh yeah, and Im a waitress but I would never cross the line with a customer even if he did tip extremely well, and we flirted. To me flirting is just a way to get men to tip me better!! Lots of kudos!![/quote]\par
\par
can you introduce me to any of your slutty single mom friends?
On 06/6/07 at 6:04 am
said:
[quote comment="3344"]Wait so you are slutty, you don’t have to be a slutty single mom. You can just be a single mom[/quote]\par
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but it’s so much fun![/quote]\par
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I knew you liked it.
On 06/6/07 at 6:08 am
said:
[quote post="609"]can you introduce me to any of your slutty single mom friends? [/quote]\par
Sure I could introduce you. Maybe I should try the whole slutty single mom thing, its starting to sound like fun!!
On 06/6/07 at 6:10 am
said:
[quote comment="3346"]Don’t leave out the newly divorced. They’re most likely coming out of a lengthy marriage dry spell and looking to make up for lost time.[/quote]\par
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Good point, I kind of lump them in with single moms but it isn’t right to do so.
On 06/6/07 at 6:11 am
said:
[quote comment="3345"]Slutty single moms are fun. have known a few, been scared of a few.\par
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One group you left out is the older, but trying to look and stay young woman who dresses like her teenaged daughter.[/quote]\par
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Oh good call… the cougars
On 06/6/07 at 6:12 am
said:
[quote comment="3348"]After Internet Girl it is hard ot come up with one…but the only one I can think of that was a real pain-in-the-ass almost threat was The Girl I had a Secret Crush On who ended up arriving at his reunion looking like Silicon Sally :\\[/quote]\par
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Newly enhanced women can be a threat because they want to try out the new goods.
On 06/6/07 at 6:12 am
said:
[quote comment="3349"]Oh, the most deadly combo for a relationship is the slutty single mom who also is the waitress/bartender. They are hard to resist, kinds like lays chips - cant eat just one[/quote]\par
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To subgroups combined into one mega monster
On 06/6/07 at 6:13 am
said:
[quote comment="3353"][quote post="609"]can you introduce me to any of your slutty single mom friends? [/quote]\par
Sure I could introduce you. Maybe I should try the whole slutty single mom thing, its starting to sound like fun!![/quote]\par
\par
How could it not be?
On 06/6/07 at 6:17 am
said:
[quote post="609"]How could it not be?[/quote]\par
Good point. It has been entirely way too long since I had any adult related fun!!
On 06/6/07 at 6:22 am
said:
I am the biggest threat to your relationship. The slutty single mom and the bartender all in one!! Anyone want to be my internet friend?
On 06/6/07 at 6:27 am
said:
[quote comment="3361"]I am the biggest threat to your relationship. The slutty single mom and the bartender all in one!! Anyone want to be my internet friend?[/quote]\par
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Sign me up
On 06/6/07 at 6:35 am
said:
[quote comment="3361"]I am the biggest threat to your relationship. The slutty single mom and the bartender all in one!! Anyone want to be my internet friend?[/quote]\par
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to quote Kevin - sign me up.
On 06/6/07 at 6:37 am
said:
You forgot about the ‘wives of friends’ category. My former husband had a crush on his friend’s wife for years before he and I ever met. When I was pregnant with our second daughter, he decided he needed “space”. This was the day after I begged him not to give said whore a ride to the dentist office in a town 60 miles away. He was gone from 8am until after 10pm. You can figure out the math on that one. Anyway, a week after he kicked us (my 3 year old daughter and myself) out, he was helping HER move out of her house. Their affair went on for 8 or 9 months. Eventually she dumped him and became a coke whore. At least she had goals.
On 06/6/07 at 6:50 am
said:
[quote comment="3364"] Eventually she dumped him and became a coke whore. At least she had goals.[/quote]\par
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So uh, I struck a nerve with this one?
On 06/6/07 at 6:54 am
said:
Perhaps it is still possible that there are men who actually are able to think and chose not to cheat at all regardless of what temptations they run in to? Sorry, I’m getting way to unrealistic here.\par
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Why would a man think? It’s just like women wearing Burkas, IF they every showed any form of skin men would turn in to animals and not be able to stop themselves from having sex with her.
On 06/6/07 at 7:05 am
said:
[quote comment="3366"]Perhaps it is still possible that there are men who actually are able to think and chose not to cheat at all regardless of what temptations they run in to? Sorry, I’m getting way to unrealistic here.\par
[/quote]\par
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I don’t think we all cheat or anything like that, I just thought this post by yahoo was one of the dumbest things I have ever read.
On 06/6/07 at 7:10 am
said:
You forgot the cougars, those forty somethings trying to dress like Lindsay Lohan…or their teenage daughters. I wouldn’t date them, just ridicule them.
On 06/6/07 at 7:11 am
said:
Damn it. I see you did already mention the cougars. I guess that makes me an unoriginal bastard. Kudos.
On 06/6/07 at 7:20 am
said:
You forgot the sexy international visitor to work/college.\par
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Man just has to be polite and show them about town because they are all alone and don’t know anyone. Plus they’ll be leaving the country soon. Perfect situation, unless they turn into a bunny boiler looking for a passport.\par
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I love flirting with the international students - zero commitment.
On 06/6/07 at 7:24 am
said:
I’m a slutty single mom who gives great massages with happy endings. This is why I have no worries about my man cheating.
On 06/6/07 at 7:36 am
said:
Well, the most likley “group” to screw up a relationship is my HO sister. I’m pretty sure she has already given the herps to at least a substantial portion of the population of my state, maybe even yours too cuz she likes the truckers. But what sux more than that ( cuz lets just face it I dont even like the Bitch ) is that about 2 out of 5 times I to to “town” someone ..a dude.. will ask me hey aren’t you Mar? Sadly we do look very much alike. UGHHHHH Swear to God true story!!!!
On 06/6/07 at 7:36 am
said:
Basically when you break down.. guys cant be trusted and girls are whores who are always trying to ruin your relationship.\par
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Thanks Kevin..\par
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Great way to start off the day
On 06/6/07 at 8:04 am
said:
[quote comment="3369"]Damn it. I see you did already mention the cougars. I guess that makes me an unoriginal bastard. Kudos.[/quote]\par
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I need to do some cougar hunting
On 06/6/07 at 8:05 am
said:
[quote comment="3371"]I’m a slutty single mom who gives great massages with happy endings. This is why I have no worries about my man cheating.[/quote]\par
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well aren’t you a catch
On 06/6/07 at 8:05 am
said:
[quote comment="3372"]Well, the most likley “group” to screw up a relationship is my HO sister. I’m pretty sure she has already given the herps to at least a substantial portion of the population of my state, maybe even yours too cuz she likes the truckers. But what sux more than that ( cuz lets just face it I dont even like the Bitch ) is that about 2 out of 5 times I to to “town” someone ..a dude.. will ask me hey aren’t you Mar? Sadly we do look very much alike. UGHHHHH\par
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Swear to God true story!!!![/quote]\par
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Now you just need to get the herpes to close the gap.
On 06/6/07 at 9:16 am
said:
I’m not reading all the other comments so this may be a duplicate but the number 1 culprit in destroying a relationship is generally someone in the relationship.\par
Chicks that bitch too much.\par
Dudes that spend more time with their guy friends than their girlfriends.\par
And so on.\par
Blaming anyone else is just a sign of the total lack of accountability in this culture.\par
:o) Like that?
On 06/6/07 at 9:43 am
said:
Hahahaha I thought this same exact thing when I read the lame Yahoo article yesterday. Sooo true.\par
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http://www.lovebostongirl.com
On 06/6/07 at 10:16 am
said:
Slutty single moms. LOL. We should call them SSMLF, slutty single moms that like to F… well, you know.\par
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Sounds kinda like smurfs. HA HA HA\par
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On 06/6/07 at 10:28 am
said:
[quote comment="3362"][quote comment="3361"]I am the biggest threat to your relationship. The slutty single mom and the bartender all in one!! Anyone want to be my internet friend?[/quote]\par
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Sign me up[/quote]\par
You are my Myspace friend so we are off to a good start there…. How you doing?
On 06/6/07 at 11:02 am
said:
I hate to say it, but the slutty single mom thing is right on.\par
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We aren’t cheaters by nature, but single mom’s don’t fuck around (reverse Pun) when they have very little Mommy Only time.\par
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Good work!
On 06/6/07 at 11:06 am
said:
Dear Kevin,\par
\par
I’d comment on your latest blog entry but 52 other people have beaten me to it.\par
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Instead I will bitch about the annoying noise your site homepage makes. Seriously, what the fuck. And also about how the “e-mail digest” I get for your blog tries to BE your web site instead of just a friendly reminder that you’ve updated… and also gives a bad URL… I don’t think I want to click a link from my inbox just to get a 404 error.
On 06/6/07 at 11:22 am
said:
Holly that is the chat box… You can disable the sound by clicking on the bell on the chat box.\par
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Let me check on the e-mail digest…
On 06/6/07 at 12:03 pm
said:
I guess I learn something new every day. I’m going to have to adjust my Match profile to let the single mom’s in. What insight!
On 06/6/07 at 12:16 pm
said:
Or…the woman whose (insert-air conditioner, heater, windows, etc.) he’s installing. Especially if she’s also a single mom!
On 06/6/07 at 1:15 pm
said:
hahaha, I didn’t even know yahoo gave out relationship advice. Why try to keep your man away from certain women, ladies? You’ll end up becoming an obsessive freak. I think yahoo wants to destroy all relationships.
On 06/6/07 at 1:46 pm
said:
How about the mousy librarian girl who undergoes a sexy transformation set to eighties dance music? Those girls are dangerous.\par
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That’s how I got my husband.
On 06/6/07 at 1:53 pm
said:
[quote comment="3333"]I’d say stripper, but that also falls under the banner of waitress…you tip well and who knows what can happen…not that I’m speaking from personal experience…nope…[/quote]\par
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true.!!
On 06/6/07 at 2:29 pm
said:
Is it bad that I fall under three of these categories? Internet girl who just happens to be a slutty single mom who gives massages.
On 06/6/07 at 5:19 pm
said:
Being that I was just thrown into that “single slutty mom” catagory by being ummmmm divorced from a man who never listened when I said I wasn’t happy spending money that wasn’t there…\par
I am now sooooo enlighted to learn that it was only to go after married guys who …\par
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A. Probably do the same.\par
B. Have more children than any day care.\par
C. Thinks foreplay is showing up for dinner.\par
D. Feels his wife is lazy if she doesn’t do those dishes after creating dinner from magic after a full day of work, kids and errands.\par
E. Is married, unhappy and tied down.\par
\par
Because by gosh my friends, being single ONLY means I get to:\par
A. Go where I want.\par
B. Spend and save how I want.\par
C. Date single men who cook… and clean.\par
D. Travel.\par
E. Have sex how and when I want.\par
F. Control the TV.\par
G. Control the car.\par
H. Only deal with one child: mine.\par
I could go on but this darn being single list would go on for hours, and the last time I checked, with no offense to any of my girlfriends or women in my neighborhood … I have never found your choice in men attractive.\par
Now, if you were married to James A. Ray …. hmmmmm\par
Catherine, the redhead
On 06/6/07 at 6:49 pm
said:
[quote comment="3418"]Being that I was just thrown into that “single slutty mom” catagory by being ummmmm divorced from a man who never listened when I said I wasn’t happy spending money that wasn’t there…\par
[/quote]\par
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Wait a second, who threw you into that category?
On 06/6/07 at 6:50 pm
said:
[quote comment="3398"]How about the mousy librarian girl who undergoes a sexy transformation set to eighties dance music? Those girls are dangerous.\par
\par
That’s how I got my husband.[/quote]\par
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Would they be doing this to a montage?
On 06/6/07 at 8:55 pm
said:
67% is a total undercut. the only time i’d rather turn to a vibrator (forget the fact that it’s used daily) is when i’m too damn exhausted to do anything other than play dead (been drinking and can’t spell…)when given the option of a “warm penis”.
On 06/6/07 at 9:01 pm
said:
67% is a total undercut. i would never turn to my vibrator (forget the fact that it’s used daily) when given the option of a “warm penis” unless i’m too exhausted to do anything other than play dead.
On 06/7/07 at 4:35 am
said:
[quote comment="3437"]67% is a total undercut. i would never turn to my vibrator (forget the fact that it’s used daily) when given the option of a “warm penis” unless i’m too exhausted to do anything other than play dead.[/quote]\par
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I know some people that have a way with turning women towards the way of machinery
On 06/7/07 at 5:29 am
said:
good morning
On 06/7/07 at 5:32 am
said:
[quote comment="3449"]good morning[/quote]\par
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morning sunshine
On 06/7/07 at 5:32 am
said:
This blog totaly lost me
On 06/7/07 at 5:33 am
said:
I can’t stop thinking about the hairy armpits now! We all have them here in Europe, it’s so liberating and smelly!\par
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All my ideas are cool and no one would dare to not agree with me.\par
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3 Kudos!\par
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/A
On 06/7/07 at 5:36 am
said:
Yeah - every time I lose a jury trial.\par
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I have a question for you guys in LA - any idea who told Phil Spector that dead rat on his head is a good hair style? He should go to jail just for that.
On 06/7/07 at 5:37 am
said:
2 things….\par
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Number one - It was Tom Seizmore wasn’t it?…You don’t have to lie…\par
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Number two - I know you had a semi while looking at that French chicks hairy pits….
On 06/7/07 at 5:39 am
said:
I thought you were cool, got vindicated and then they laughed at me. Now I just want you to hump my leg.
On 06/7/07 at 5:40 am
said:
[quote comment="3451"]This blog totaly lost me[/quote]\par
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I sat on it for a week because I didn’t like it… Thanks for confirming that I shouldn’t have posted it.
On 06/7/07 at 5:40 am
said:
[quote comment="3452"]I can’t stop thinking about the hairy armpits now! We all have them here in Europe, it’s so liberating and smelly!\par
\par
All my ideas are cool and no one would dare to not agree with me.\par
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3 Kudos!\par
\par
/A[/quote]\par
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I disagree with you daily
On 06/7/07 at 5:41 am
said: