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Jun
05

Reason Number 4 Why I Hate Paris Hilton

By: Bobby Finstock on 06/5/07 @ 4:45 am

Paris is being put into a special needs cell where she is being separated from the general population.

If I went to jail I would shanked with a tooth brush that had been finely whittled into a knife on the first day.

That is reason number 4 out of 500,001 of why I hate Paris Hilton.

Filed in: Pop Culture

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

30 Responses to “Reason Number 4 Why I Hate Paris Hilton”

  1. mike jones says:

    FIRST

  2. mike jones says:

    what the point of going to jail then?

  3. cigar smoking, hung over lawyer says:

    I am so upset by her treatment I think I am going to start a Paris Watch Vigil and not drink until she gets out. Who the hell am I kidding – hope she is learning the pleasure of forced lesbian love on a bathroom floor.

  4. jezebel says:

    this page is weird it makes noises…. damn myspace

  5. Kevin says:

    [quote comment="3230"]what the point of going to jail then?[/quote]

    we all need to enjoy a good shank

  6. Kevin says:

    [quote comment="3231"]I am so upset by her treatment I think I am going to start a Paris Watch Vigil and not drink until she gets out. Who the hell am I kidding – hope she is learning the pleasure of forced lesbian love on a bathroom floor.[/quote]

    I hope fisting is on the menu for her

  7. ruey says:

    i feel sorry people in special needs having to put up with her!!!

  8. Cherie says:

    She could live anywhere in the world with that kind of money. I wish she should just move to a different country for say, 30 years or so…

  9. mike jones says:

    i think paris hilton is SEVERLY retarded its like the only words she knows are thats hot

  10. Em Em says:

    I think the world already feels like a better place with her locked behind bars. She should get put in jail more often.

  11. Christina says:

    I just don’t understand why she’s getting special treatment in jail. She committed a crime, and she needs to pay for it, just like the rest of us, by going in general population. Plus if she went into the general pop. in jail, im sure some lovely inmate would make her their bitch. Not to mention if she got killed while she was in there we would finally be free of the “simple life”

  12. Melissa says:

    This would be the perfect time to get PETA to do a liberation assault on her home place and free all of her abused accessories, I mean pets.

    The ding-dong sound, while annoying, goes perfectly with the subject at hand.

  13. Karl says:

    [quote comment="3247"]She could live anywhere in the world with that kind of money. I wish she should just move to a different country for say, 30 years or so…[/quote]
    She can’t every other country would have killeed her for her uselessness Except maybe canada

  14. Marjorie says:

    just get into a cell with her and shank her, you would be doing the world a favor

  15. gettin bitches pissed sence 1985 says:

    Yeah, your page does make funny noises

  16. Kevin says:

    It is the chat box… just hit the bell on it and it disables the sound

  17. lori says:

    aaawww…my heart just breaks for the poor girl…HAHAHAH yea right bitch is lucky shes only doing 20something days if it was any of us we wouldve gotten the max….i wonder if she will be taking her VALTREX while incarcerated…sending her to canada for 30 years sounds like a GREAT idea to me after all they sent us jason priestly to suffer with…but then again they gave us dan aykroyd, john candy, keanu reeves and keifer sutherland

  18. Karl Rove says:

    Only 500,001 reasons to hate Paris Hilton?

  19. Nasus says:

    Paris is beautiful…….NOTTTTTTTT!!!

  20. Kevin says:

    [quote comment="3303"]Only 500,001 reasons to hate Paris Hilton?[/quote]

    Give or take 300K

  21. LoneStarBrit says:

    Why bother locking her up at the taxpayers’ expense. Just force her into military service instead and make her earn her keep for a change. I’ve heard Darfur’s hot this time of year.

  22. akp says:

    I just puked in my mouth a little.

    What’s the point in putting the spolied brat in jail if she’s going to get special treatment?

  23. Alicia {Mom~o} says:

    FCOL, at least she’s getting some kind of punishment. I agree it’s not enough, but we all know if she went out and killed someone she’d be found “not guilty” by a jury of her peers.

  24. Suzi says:

    Glad it’s not me in there. I think it’s funny that with all the money at her fingertips, she couldn’t buy her way out of her situation. Just goes to show you that attitude is everything, and hers happens to be lousy.

  25. Samone says:

    and she is daring to complain to her psychologist about the food!

  26. crissy says:

    i so love paris. she’s the shit. everybody is just haters and jelous of her looks,fame,and money.all these broke poor bitches r the ones complaining or the ugly people. they need to get off her back. if they hated her so much they wouldnt waist there time sending hate mail 2 her.hang in there paris. if i was a celeb. i would expect specail treatment 2 and so would u.

  27. Scotty says:

    [quote comment="3313"]Why bother locking her up at the taxpayers’ expense. Just force her into military service instead and make her earn her keep for a change. I’ve heard Darfur’s hot this time of year.[/quote]

    Now your picking on the Armed Services!!!!!!!!!!!!

  28. Crissy h8rrr says:

    yeah, OK Crissy. your SOOO awesome i so want to be like you when i grow up!! NOTTT!!! have you ever even LOOKED at Paris?!?!?!!? SHE.IS.RETARDED.

    and so are you.

  29. ParisHater says:

    Yeah crissy needs to realize she’s the only one out of all these comments who actually likes the nasty whore!

  30. minimeparis says:

    haters

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