Another reason why I am a complete idiot
When I got to college for the first time I have to admit that I was a complete hayseed. I had dated the same girl for two years in high school, my sexual experience was rather limited, and my partying experience was rather pedestrian. My first year was a crash course and a makeup for all the lost time, in fact I think I made up for it over and over and over and over again.
There was still some major learning experiences that I went through over that year in dealing with the ways of the woman. In my sociology class I was partnered up with Tannis, a 24 year old California girl. She was blond, smart, funny, attractive and I figured my 18 year old ass totally scored for a project partner. While working on our sociology project we hung out and talked almost every day. I didn’t really read into that at all, I just figured that you were supposed to spend a lot of time with your project partners in college. That kind of illustrates what an idiot I am, little did I know normally you would meet for half an hour and then slam whatever you are working on together five minutes before it was due.
Anyways, one day while hanging out, Tannis began to grill me about if I was dating anyone or not. I told her that I had been hanging out with a few girls but nothing serious was going on. She then posed an interesting question to me, “Do you know what a ‘fuck buddy’ is?”
I honestly had never heard the term at that point in my life and I told her as much, she replied with the explanation, “Well it is when two people get together and basically… well… fuck. They just don’t have a relationship or anything really.”
So what was my response to this? Well I had a lot of options.
Option 1- “Um, my roommate is gone all day why don’t we go back to my room.”
Option 2- “Why don’t you ring a girlfriend and I will meet you both at your place tonight.”
Option 3- “So what are you saying?”
Option 4- “Wow I am flattered, what did you have in mind?”
So what option did I choose? None of the above, I went with option 5.
“Oh, wow, cool.”
Yup, that is all I could muster, I couldn’t wrap my ahead around what just happened. We quickly turned our attention to someone that had just walked by us, and we didn’t come back to the subject that day. After thinking about what had happened over the next three days, I decided to bring the subject up again when I talked to her on the phone or my penis would never forgive me. When I broached the subject this was her reply, “Oh Kevin, I totally would have hooked up with you and showed you things that you wouldn’t even understand. You are such a cutie but honestly after talking to you about it, you are just so clueless. I feel like you are my little brother and I have to watch out for you now.”
I didn’t fall into the friend zone, I fell all the way to little brother status. In a matter of four days I went from “I want to tongue your ballsack for 14 hours” to “aw Timmy don’t play with matches”…. I didn’t think that was possible but leave it to me to accomplish it.
Have you ever, through your own stupidity, destroyed your chances with the opposite sex?
You’re fairly dense. I was all like “Yo, I wanna suck your dick” and you were all “Yeah, I’m writing a blog about being drunk, it’s sweet” and then I was all “Cool, but I still think we should fuck” and you were like “I checked out a book at the library today that was pretty good.”\par
\par
Ok, that never happened. But my basic point stands. Which is that you are dense.
FIRST
what the point of going to jail then?
I am so upset by her treatment I think I am going to start a Paris Watch Vigil and not drink until she gets out. Who the hell am I kidding – hope she is learning the pleasure of forced lesbian love on a bathroom floor.
this page is weird it makes noises…. damn myspace
[quote comment="3230"]what the point of going to jail then?[/quote]\par
\par
we all need to enjoy a good shank
[quote comment="3231"]I am so upset by her treatment I think I am going to start a Paris Watch Vigil and not drink until she gets out. Who the hell am I kidding – hope she is learning the pleasure of forced lesbian love on a bathroom floor.[/quote]\par
\par
I hope fisting is on the menu for her
i feel sorry people in special needs having to put up with her!!!
She could live anywhere in the world with that kind of money. I wish she should just move to a different country for say, 30 years or so…
i think paris hilton is SEVERLY retarded its like the only words she knows are thats hot
I think the world already feels like a better place with her locked behind bars. She should get put in jail more often.
I just don’t understand why she’s getting special treatment in jail. She committed a crime, and she needs to pay for it, just like the rest of us, by going in general population. Plus if she went into the general pop. in jail, im sure some lovely inmate would make her their bitch. Not to mention if she got killed while she was in there we would finally be free of the “simple life”
This would be the perfect time to get PETA to do a liberation assault on her home place and free all of her abused accessories, I mean pets.\par
\par
The ding-dong sound, while annoying, goes perfectly with the subject at hand.
[quote comment="3247"]She could live anywhere in the world with that kind of money. I wish she should just move to a different country for say, 30 years or so…[/quote]\par
She can’t every other country would have killeed her for her uselessness Except maybe canada
just get into a cell with her and shank her, you would be doing the world a favor
Yeah, your page does make funny noises
It is the chat box… just hit the bell on it and it disables the sound
aaawww…my heart just breaks for the poor girl…HAHAHAH yea right bitch is lucky shes only doing 20something days if it was any of us we wouldve gotten the max….i wonder if she will be taking her VALTREX while incarcerated…sending her to canada for 30 years sounds like a GREAT idea to me after all they sent us jason priestly to suffer with…but then again they gave us dan aykroyd, john candy, keanu reeves and keifer sutherland
Only 500,001 reasons to hate Paris Hilton?
Paris is beautiful…….NOTTTTTTTT!!!
[quote comment="3303"]Only 500,001 reasons to hate Paris Hilton?[/quote]\par
\par
Give or take 300K
Why bother locking her up at the taxpayers’ expense. Just force her into military service instead and make her earn her keep for a change. I’ve heard Darfur’s hot this time of year.
I just puked in my mouth a little.\par
\par
What’s the point in putting the spolied brat in jail if she’s going to get special treatment?
FCOL, at least she’s getting some kind of punishment. I agree it’s not enough, but we all know if she went out and killed someone she’d be found “not guilty” by a jury of her peers.
Glad it’s not me in there. I think it’s funny that with all the money at her fingertips, she couldn’t buy her way out of her situation. Just goes to show you that attitude is everything, and hers happens to be lousy.
and she is daring to complain to her psychologist about the food!
i so love paris. she’s the shit. everybody is just haters and jelous of her looks,fame,and money.all these broke poor bitches r the ones complaining or the ugly people. they need to get off her back. if they hated her so much they wouldnt waist there time sending hate mail 2 her.hang in there paris. if i was a celeb. i would expect specail treatment 2 and so would u.
[quote comment="3313"]Why bother locking her up at the taxpayers’ expense. Just force her into military service instead and make her earn her keep for a change. I’ve heard Darfur’s hot this time of year.[/quote]\par
\par
\par
\par
Now your picking on the Armed Services!!!!!!!!!!!!