Another reason why I am a complete idiot
When I got to college for the first time I have to admit that I was a complete hayseed. I had dated the same girl for two years in high school, my sexual experience was rather limited, and my partying experience was rather pedestrian. My first year was a crash course and a makeup for all the lost time, in fact I think I made up for it over and over and over and over again.
There was still some major learning experiences that I went through over that year in dealing with the ways of the woman. In my sociology class I was partnered up with Tannis, a 24 year old California girl. She was blond, smart, funny, attractive and I figured my 18 year old ass totally scored for a project partner. While working on our sociology project we hung out and talked almost every day. I didn’t really read into that at all, I just figured that you were supposed to spend a lot of time with your project partners in college. That kind of illustrates what an idiot I am, little did I know normally you would meet for half an hour and then slam whatever you are working on together five minutes before it was due.
Anyways, one day while hanging out, Tannis began to grill me about if I was dating anyone or not. I told her that I had been hanging out with a few girls but nothing serious was going on. She then posed an interesting question to me, “Do you know what a ‘fuck buddy’ is?”
I honestly had never heard the term at that point in my life and I told her as much, she replied with the explanation, “Well it is when two people get together and basically… well… fuck. They just don’t have a relationship or anything really.”
So what was my response to this? Well I had a lot of options.
Option 1- “Um, my roommate is gone all day why don’t we go back to my room.”
Option 2- “Why don’t you ring a girlfriend and I will meet you both at your place tonight.”
Option 3- “So what are you saying?”
Option 4- “Wow I am flattered, what did you have in mind?”
So what option did I choose? None of the above, I went with option 5.
“Oh, wow, cool.”
Yup, that is all I could muster, I couldn’t wrap my ahead around what just happened. We quickly turned our attention to someone that had just walked by us, and we didn’t come back to the subject that day. After thinking about what had happened over the next three days, I decided to bring the subject up again when I talked to her on the phone or my penis would never forgive me. When I broached the subject this was her reply, “Oh Kevin, I totally would have hooked up with you and showed you things that you wouldn’t even understand. You are such a cutie but honestly after talking to you about it, you are just so clueless. I feel like you are my little brother and I have to watch out for you now.”
I didn’t fall into the friend zone, I fell all the way to little brother status. In a matter of four days I went from “I want to tongue your ballsack for 14 hours” to “aw Timmy don’t play with matches”…. I didn’t think that was possible but leave it to me to accomplish it.
Have you ever, through your own stupidity, destroyed your chances with the opposite sex?
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On 06/4/07 at 4:35 am
said:
first!?\par
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and love it.\par
and u
On 06/4/07 at 4:37 am
said:
aw thanks I appreciate it… and why do you have my pic next to your name… damn it I need to fix that.
On 06/4/07 at 4:39 am
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first screw tom\par
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second…i always end up being the “cool girl that can kick ass in san andreas and madden”
On 06/4/07 at 4:42 am
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[quote comment="3163"]first screw tom\par
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second…i always end up being the “cool girl that can kick ass in san andreas and madden”[/quote]\par
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Yeah but those are two solid skills to have, although I would roll you in Madden… just saying
On 06/4/07 at 4:46 am
said:
I never ever understand when someone is hitting on me, to the point where other people have actually told me that someone is harassing me at work for instans. I’m like a dude that way, if you want to fuck just ask for crying out loud!\par
Awesome writing as always!\par
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5 Kudos!
On 06/4/07 at 4:48 am
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gottat hate it when you kill your own chances for sex. Sitting and thinging “what the hell did I just do?”. I almost had a hat trick of shooting myself down this this weekend.
On 06/4/07 at 4:49 am
said:
Dear Krishna, you were a moron. Please tell me you think a little faster on your feet now.
On 06/4/07 at 4:50 am
said:
[quote comment="3165"]I never ever understand when someone is hitting on me, to the point where other people have actually told me that someone is harassing me at work for instans. I’m like a dude that way, if you want to fuck just ask for crying out loud!\par
Awesome writing as always!\par
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5 Kudos! :)[/quote]\par
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So all I have to do is ask?
On 06/4/07 at 4:51 am
said:
[quote comment="3166"]gottat hate it when you kill your own chances for sex. Sitting and thinging “what the hell did I just do?”. I almost had a hat trick of shooting myself down this this weekend.[/quote]\par
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Was it almost a natural hat trick? Three in a row?
On 06/4/07 at 4:52 am
said:
man, that hurt my stomach reading that you went straight to little bro status. ouch. my problem was that i was always the one that wanted to hang out to drink and laugh with. and take with to go fight nazis in case there was a girl there. i was worse than little sis status…i was “like one of the guys” status.
On 06/4/07 at 4:55 am
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[quote comment="3167"]Dear Krishna, you were a moron. Please tell me you think a little faster on your feet now.[/quote]\par
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I am sharp like dull knife now
On 06/4/07 at 4:55 am
said:
[quote comment="3170"]man, that hurt my stomach reading that you went straight to little bro status. ouch. my problem was that i was always the one that wanted to hang out to drink and laugh with. and take with to go fight nazis in case there was a girl there. i was worse than little sis status…i was “like one of the guys” status.[/quote]\par
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Has your other testicle dropped yet?
On 06/4/07 at 5:00 am
said:
At least you realized where you went wrong.\par
I’m many years out of college and can’t seem to get to date #3 without being relegated to little sister status. I have NO CLUE where I’m going wrong.
On 06/4/07 at 5:12 am
said:
[quote comment="3168"][quote comment="3165"]I never ever understand when someone is hitting on me, to the point where other people have actually told me that someone is harassing me at work for instans. I’m like a dude that way, if you want to fuck just ask for crying out loud!\par
Awesome writing as always!\par
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5 Kudos! :)[/quote]\par
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So all I have to do is ask?[/quote]\par
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Yes, in person though as I will need to do it right away when asked.
On 06/4/07 at 5:24 am
said:
I’ve done that before, but almost always made up for it in some way. There was this one time the night before my Chiro boards in NY, I was sleeping over my brothers house and his wife had a girl friend staying over that night also. I went to bed and about an hour latter this girl comes in the room and asks if she can sleep with me, so I say sure and move over a little to make some room and go back to sleep. The next morning my sister in-law smacks me in the back of my head and asks whats wrong with me? Don’t you like her? Yeah, I like her she’s a nice girl. Why didn’t you sleep with her? Oh! I thought she just didn’t want to sleep on the couch! She shakes her head and calls me an idiot and I got the clue. Thank god for second chances and really horny woman! Cause I hit that shit the next night! That one my sister in-law gets kudos for.
On 06/4/07 at 5:33 am
said:
Gosh,
It looks like I lost my job with the firsts. That sucks that you became a brother type.
On 06/4/07 at 5:38 am
said:
[quote comment="3173"]At least you realized where you went wrong.\par
I’m many years out of college and can’t seem to get to date #3 without being relegated to little sister status. I have NO CLUE where I’m going wrong.[/quote]\par
\par
You need to give it up sooner then…
On 06/4/07 at 5:39 am
said:
[quote comment="3174"][quote comment="3168"][quote comment="3165"]I never ever understand when someone is hitting on me, to the point where other people have actually told me that someone is harassing me at work for instans. I’m like a dude that way, if you want to fuck just ask for crying out loud!\par
Awesome writing as always!\par
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5 Kudos! :)[/quote]\par
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So all I have to do is ask?[/quote]\par
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Yes, in person though as I will need to do it right away when asked.[/quote]\par
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Damn that is a lot of pressure
On 06/4/07 at 5:40 am
said:
[quote comment="3175"]I’ve done that before, but almost always made up for it in some way. There was this one time the night before my Chiro boards in NY, I was sleeping over my brothers house and his wife had a girl friend staying over that night also. I went to bed and about an hour latter this girl comes in the room and asks if she can sleep with me, so I say sure and move over a little to make some room and go back to sleep. The next morning my sister in-law smacks me in the back of my head and asks whats wrong with me? Don’t you like her? Yeah, I like her she’s a nice girl. Why didn’t you sleep with her? Oh! I thought she just didn’t want to sleep on the couch! She shakes her head and calls me an idiot and I got the clue. Thank god for second chances and really horny woman! Cause I hit that shit the next night! That one my sister in-law gets kudos for.[/quote]\par
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Holy shit talk about it falling in your lap…
On 06/4/07 at 5:40 am
said:
[quote comment="3176"]Gosh,
It looks like I lost my job with the firsts. That sucks that you became a brother type.[/quote]\par
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Nah you can retain your job… There will always need to be first relegation.
On 06/4/07 at 5:53 am
said:
Yeah, I gave a boyfriend a chance after he screwed up when I had the perfect opportunity to dump his ass guilt-free, in the process passing up the opportunity to hook up with this really, really hot guy that was interested at the time. The boyfriend was a total troglodyte, but my family really liked him so I chickened out on totally hot guy and stuck with totally not hot guy and ended up finally breaking things off, near violently at the end because I hated him so much by then. So, yeah, I totally destroyed my chances when I ran into the hot guy later that had since gotten himself another girl. =(
On 06/4/07 at 5:59 am
said:
wow.. that really sucks! I was really expecting you to say that you were able to fix things and get a fuck buddy, but little brother status? damn!
On 06/4/07 at 6:12 am
said:
[quote comment="3180"][quote comment="3176"]Gosh,
It looks like I lost my job with the firsts. That sucks that you became a brother type.[/quote]\par
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Nah you can retain your job… There will always need to be first relegation.[/quote]\par
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How the heck do I regulate it here? hahaha
On 06/4/07 at 6:23 am
said:
HAHAHAHA I can’t believe you didn’t know what a fuck buddy was.\par
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Awww well, we all learn things at different times. That sucks about the whole MySpace thing. It’s like, if you can’t have freedom of speech at that site, then where at?! That’s pretty lame. It’s not like people HAVE TO read your profile/blogs. If they don’t like it, then they can go some place else. People should know this by now, not everyone is going to agree or like the same things in life.
On 06/4/07 at 6:49 am
said:
[quote comment="3164"][quote comment="3163"]first screw tom\par
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second…i always end up being the “cool girl that can kick ass in san andreas and madden”[/quote]\par
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Yeah but those are two solid skills to have, although I would roll you in Madden… just saying[/quote]\par
bring it on. me and the steelers vs you and your crappy team
On 06/4/07 at 7:15 am
said:
[quote comment="3177"][quote comment="3173"]At least you realized where you went wrong.\par
I’m many years out of college and can’t seem to get to date #3 without being relegated to little sister status. I have NO CLUE where I’m going wrong.[/quote]\par
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You need to give it up sooner then…[/quote]\par
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If you say so, it must be good advice.\par
From now on, I’ll be putting out immediately.\par
Thanks, Kevin.
On 06/4/07 at 7:23 am
said:
I hate this, fuck Tom, I say we find him, Jump him, and leave him crippled..\par
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your gonna have to post a bulletin every time you post on here so I know U did lol, I dont wanna subscribe, I get enough e-mail that I dont check everyday
On 06/4/07 at 7:25 am
said:
“Have you ever, through your own stupidity, destroyed your chances with the opposite sex?”\par
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All the fucking time. It’s sad really.
On 06/4/07 at 7:32 am
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My bloglog and feedburner!\par
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Excellent ideas!!!!\par
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Good luck bro.\par
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(:
On 06/4/07 at 7:47 am
said:
tommy likes it. well we’ll miss you over there n junk. okay no i won’t because you’re just relocating. but i gotta question. am i gonna be sporting your fro likes these other knuckleheads? i destroyed many opportunities with the opposite sex due to arrogance and alcohol. i think that’s why i just snagged one up on a permanent level. so i don’t gotta play games anymore.
On 06/4/07 at 7:53 am
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[quote comment="3190"]My bloglog and feedburner!\par
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Excellent ideas!!!!\par
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Good luck bro.\par
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(:[/quote]\par
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Yeah because I haven’t had the feedburner thing up for a year…\par
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Thanks though.
On 06/4/07 at 7:54 am
said:
[quote comment="3191"]tommy likes it. well we’ll miss you over there n junk. okay no i won’t because you’re just relocating. but i gotta question. am i gonna be sporting your fro likes these other knuckleheads? i destroyed many opportunities with the opposite sex due to arrogance and alcohol. i think that’s why i just snagged one up on a permanent level. so i don’t gotta play games anymore.[/quote]\par
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Yeah I gotta see why it is doing that…\par
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arrogance and alcohol go hand in hand sometimes
On 06/4/07 at 7:56 am
said:
[quote comment="3188"]I hate this, fuck Tom, I say we find him, Jump him, and leave him crippled..\par
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your gonna have to post a bulletin every time you post on here so I know U did lol, I dont wanna subscribe, I get enough e-mail that I dont check everyday :)[/quote]\par
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Just bookmark the page… that works too
On 06/4/07 at 7:57 am
said:
[quote comment="3189"]“Have you ever, through your own stupidity, destroyed your chances with the opposite sex?”\par
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All the fucking time. It’s sad really.[/quote]\par
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It becomes a skill after awhile
On 06/4/07 at 8:17 am
said:
Way to go Kevin, at least I managed to pull “snuggle buddy” out of mine. At least it’s physical contact.\par
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Now I need to figure out how to customize this shit I need a pic.Since it’s not myspace maybe a nice cleavage shot.
On 06/4/07 at 8:43 am
said:
hahahahahahahahahahahaha\par
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See, now this is why women always say men are clueless. They Are!
On 06/4/07 at 8:58 am
said:
A guy I was sort of seeing decided to take me to a Halloween party about 4 or 5 years ago, and after arriving, he changed into a tux and high heels. I saw this as a gay overature, and told him so. He just married his second wife. I still think it’s a front. Needless to say, I never even kissed him.
On 06/4/07 at 9:56 am
said:
i fall into the category of moron girl who doesn’t realize when someone is interested until they get mad at me for not liking them back…and usually by then they move on.\par
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so sad.
On 06/4/07 at 10:35 am
said:
My thing is, the girl should have made a move on you. I’m betting if she did, she would have been yours right then, Am I right? Its fucked up she asks you about it, and expects you make the move. (by the way I’ve known about the fuck buddy thing since HS,and I’m 30! where were you Kev? Its also called a BOOTY CALL! Didn’t your friends tell you anything?)
On 06/4/07 at 11:17 am
said:
I actually asked a good guy friend for a hookup as a “Fuckbuddy” in HS. He turned me down because he didn’t want to ruin the friendship. Aka, he wanted to hook up with my Other friend…\par
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I got an e-mail 2 years ago and he told me not a month goes by he doesn’t regret that decision…\par
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And all I could think was, hell I am glad he said no. That would have ended up being ….weird.
On 06/4/07 at 11:36 am
said:
Wow Dude,\par
I can’t say that I have ever fucked up a deal like that. That is sad. Well, maybe you will have better next time, if there ever is a next time. keep trying.
On 06/4/07 at 11:51 am
said:
I feel for you, but look at the brightside. If I knew then (18) what I know now (29), my penis would have fallen off already. I like my penis.
On 06/4/07 at 2:18 pm
said:
Any chance I ever had with the opposite sex ended when I grew a second head that constantly yells out, “Beans, beans the magical fruit…etc.!”
On 06/4/07 at 2:45 pm
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Dude! I can’t believe you stuffed it up so badly. Please tell me you tried to get with her at a keg party or something…\par
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Sorry to hear about your run in with Tom again - keep up the good work\par
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On 06/4/07 at 2:56 pm
said:
Dude. I regret not jumping your bones in January.
On 06/4/07 at 4:34 pm
said:
Well that explains why you never flirted back…\par
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I’ll be more blunt next time
On 06/4/07 at 4:58 pm
said:
Damn…that sucks! Little brother/sister status does suck.\par
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My problem is I am always relegated to big sister status. I also seem to be a little clueless when a guy likes me though…which I am SURE doesn’t help the big sister status! lol
On 06/4/07 at 5:30 pm
said:
[quote comment="3207"]Dude. I regret not jumping your bones in January.[/quote]\par
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tease
On 06/4/07 at 5:31 pm
said:
[quote comment="3209"]Well that explains why you never flirted back…\par
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I’ll be more blunt next time :P[/quote]\par
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damn it
On 06/4/07 at 6:00 pm
said:
Never had a FF. Tried once but damm it I screwed it up by actually wanting more. Guess I always like to break the rules, even the FF rules.\par
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If I ever did screw up my chances for sex I was unaware of it. Maybe that is a good thing.
On 06/4/07 at 10:16 pm
said:
You’re fairly dense. I was all like “Yo, I wanna suck your dick” and you were all “Yeah, I’m writing a blog about being drunk, it’s sweet” and then I was all “Cool, but I still think we should fuck” and you were like “I checked out a book at the library today that was pretty good.”\par
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Ok, that never happened. But my basic point stands. Which is that you are dense.
On 06/5/07 at 5:24 am
said:
FIRST
On 06/5/07 at 5:25 am
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what the point of going to jail then?
On 06/5/07 at 5:25 am
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I am so upset by her treatment I think I am going to start a Paris Watch Vigil and not drink until she gets out. Who the hell am I kidding - hope she is learning the pleasure of forced lesbian love on a bathroom floor.
On 06/5/07 at 5:35 am
said:
this page is weird it makes noises…. damn myspace
On 06/5/07 at 5:36 am
said:
[quote comment="3230"]what the point of going to jail then?[/quote]\par
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we all need to enjoy a good shank
On 06/5/07 at 5:37 am
said:
[quote comment="3231"]I am so upset by her treatment I think I am going to start a Paris Watch Vigil and not drink until she gets out. Who the hell am I kidding - hope she is learning the pleasure of forced lesbian love on a bathroom floor.[/quote]\par
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I hope fisting is on the menu for her
On 06/5/07 at 5:44 am
said:
i feel sorry people in special needs having to put up with her!!!
On 06/5/07 at 5:57 am
said:
She could live anywhere in the world with that kind of money. I wish she should just move to a different country for say, 30 years or so…
On 06/5/07 at 6:02 am
said:
i think paris hilton is SEVERLY retarded its like the only words she knows are thats hot
On 06/5/07 at 6:25 am
said:
I think the world already feels like a better place with her locked behind bars. She should get put in jail more often.
On 06/5/07 at 6:27 am
said:
I just don’t understand why she’s getting special treatment in jail. She committed a crime, and she needs to pay for it, just like the rest of us, by going in general population. Plus if she went into the general pop. in jail, im sure some lovely inmate would make her their bitch. Not to mention if she got killed while she was in there we would finally be free of the “simple life”
On 06/5/07 at 8:17 am
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This would be the perfect time to get PETA to do a liberation assault on her home place and free all of her abused accessories, I mean pets.\par
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The ding-dong sound, while annoying, goes perfectly with the subject at hand.
On 06/5/07 at 9:04 am
said:
[quote comment="3247"]She could live anywhere in the world with that kind of money. I wish she should just move to a different country for say, 30 years or so…[/quote]\par
She can’t every other country would have killeed her for her uselessness Except maybe canada
On 06/5/07 at 10:17 am
said:
just get into a cell with her and shank her, you would be doing the world a favor
On 06/5/07 at 10:21 am
said:
Yeah, your page does make funny noises
On 06/5/07 at 10:36 am
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It is the chat box… just hit the bell on it and it disables the sound
On 06/5/07 at 10:57 am
said:
aaawww…my heart just breaks for the poor girl…HAHAHAH yea right bitch is lucky shes only doing 20something days if it was any of us we wouldve gotten the max….i wonder if she will be taking her VALTREX while incarcerated…sending her to canada for 30 years sounds like a GREAT idea to me after all they sent us jason priestly to suffer with…but then again they gave us dan aykroyd, john candy, keanu reeves and keifer sutherland
On 06/5/07 at 3:14 pm
said:
Only 500,001 reasons to hate Paris Hilton?
On 06/5/07 at 4:32 pm
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Paris is beautiful…….NOTTTTTTTT!!!
On 06/5/07 at 5:28 pm
said:
[quote comment="3303"]Only 500,001 reasons to hate Paris Hilton?[/quote]\par
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Give or take 300K
On 06/5/07 at 6:41 pm
said:
Why bother locking her up at the taxpayers’ expense. Just force her into military service instead and make her earn her keep for a change. I’ve heard Darfur’s hot this time of year.
On 06/5/07 at 7:20 pm
said:
I just puked in my mouth