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I am totally over this Madeleine McCann thing

By: Bobby Finstock on 05/30/07 @ 3:13 am

Before I left for France I had someone ask me to post something about Madeleine McCann, the little girl that was abducted. After looking into it and seeing that it was plastered all over the place I decided not to post anything because it was getting enough coverage. After going to Europe and seeing fliers all over the place it just reinforced my choice not to post it.

Now I don’t want to say that her abduction wasn’t tragic, because it is horrible and I really hope she is found. We all know though that if her name was Latisha Jackson that there would not nearly be the outpouring of support that there is. Since she is a cute little blonde girl it is all over the news though. This kind of pisses me off because it proves once again how superficial our media and we are. I began to think about all the ugly children that have been taken from their parents and I have decided to use my “massive” internet voice to help some of these poor kids out. I reached out and contacted their parents so they could write a little blurb and get a small fraction of the press Madeleine’s parents have been hogging.


Jessica Martin
Age: 12
Abducted: March 19, 2007 Lincoln Nebraska
Her Parents Say: Actually we kind of don’t want her back, we are now saved the embarrassment of her getting older and comforting her while she sits at home prom night crying her eyes out. We were kind of getting sick saying, “it’s what is in the inside that counts.”


Kim Rockwell
Age: 13
Abducted: May 19, 2006 Bakersfield, California
Her Parents Say: Kevin, please don’t help us out. Do you realize how much money we save on groceries now that we don’t have to feed her? Besides we can focus all of our attention on Danny, our talented and athletic kid. We know which gravy train to ride and the only gravy that was associated with Kim were the gallons she poured on her mashed potatoes and cornflakes.


Ross and Jacob Smith
Age: Age 12 and 13
Abducted: February 4, 2007
Their Parents Say: You realize that if we lived during Roman times we could have taken them to a cliff and thrown them off? Which would have been perfectly legal and socially accepted, but now, well it is damn hard to get rid of kids like these. I want to thank whomever took them off our hands, I wish we could pay you a reward for that.


Angela Jackson
Age: 18
Abducted: August 15, 2006 Austin, Texas
Her Parents Say: Those school for the blind bills were really starting to get expensive, we figured it was the only way for her to land a husband. Although we will miss using her front tooth as a bottle opener, so I guess it is a wash.

Eh I guess I see why only the cute blonde girls get press coverage…

Are you sick of the whole “insert blonde girl in distress” here type reaction we have for everything? Is it a racial bias or a looks bias or both?

Filed in: News

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

78 Responses to “I am totally over this Madeleine McCann thing”

  1. amy says:

    yes, i agree there is something wrong with you, what is wrong with your mind?

  2. Kevin says:

    [quote comment="3908"]can i just ask why you felt the need to draw attention to this?[/quote]

    Why do you have such a need to keep coming back and not moving on with your life? I poke fun at things that I think are wrong, what more of a need to I have to have.

  3. Kevin says:

    [quote comment="3910"]your attitude towards this hole thing makes you a looser[/quote]

    If you could spell loser right your words might have more meaning.

  4. Sean says:

    Wow, I can’t believe how this post is a magnet for complete morons. What part of satire do you people not understand? If you have the reading comprehension of a fifth grader you probably shouldn’t be straining your obviously atrophied cerebrum by reading this site. Although, I think some of the posts that have been directed at Kevin in the comments are truly comedic gold. Unfortunately if you didn’t understand the satirical bent of the original post, you probably can’t appreciate just how hilariously stupid you come off when you attack Kevin for things he clearly hasn’t done.

  5. Hetty says:

    u evil bastard kevin

  6. keeem says:

    i take it that you losers here are all americans tipical the british r the best by the way!haha get a life

  7. Kevin says:

    [quote comment="3979"]i take it that you losers here are all americans tipical the british r the best by the way!haha get a life[/quote]

    How awful is your public education system?

  8. ashleigh says:

    kevin, i totally dissagree with what your saying, your telling me that if your son or daughter went missing you wouldnt want everyone to look for him or her. and also the fact whether shes “cute” or not has nothing to do with it, if it wasnt madeline mccans who went missing and it was somebody else there would still be the same amount of media coverage so thats where your wrong.

    now dont mess about with any come backs that int gonna solve anything just answer me one question if it was your son or daughter who went missing would you want everyone to search for them? and its not because madeline has gone missing why its all on the news its because some sicko is out there and could get another child therefore its to stop him and its really only on the news when they find new evidence. so why dont you shut your mouth and respect what madeleines family and friends are going through. jerk.

  9. Kevin says:

    [quote comment="4009"]kevin, i totally dissagree with what your saying, your telling me that if your son or daughter went missing you wouldnt want everyone to look for him or her.[/quote]

    Ugh, but that isn’t what I am saying. I am saying that the amount of coverage has been disproportionate to what other families get. There are THOUSANDS of kids that go missing every day with very little reporting from the media.

    This girl goes missing and their are fliers posted world wide.

  10. frankie says:

    humm you guys suck!! moo do something better

  11. Arctodus says:

    This is the funniest thing I have read in weeks. I almost pissed my britches. Surely, you will sit at the right hand of God, the Father Almighty.

  12. [...] Remember a few weeks back I wrote a blog poking fun at the whole Madeleine McCann situation, and how biased the press is? I know it created a lovely discussion on the MySpace version of my blog, you can read the comments for that blog here. The discussion there talked about the “cute white girl” card the media plays, along with the piss poor parenting skills of her parents, and the fact that her family also has a soci-economic status that a lot of other families don’t have. [...]

  13. ashleigh says:

    no, youre saying that if maddie wasnt as “cute” then there wouldnt be as much coverage besides its only on the news because they keep finding new evidence and they think she is alive. besides its different because she has been targeted why did they go for maddie who was in the middle of the twins not one who wasn on the edge

  14. Milly says:

    I don’t really understand what the big deal was for everyone. What you said made sense and you threw in some humor. It is true, so many children go missing everyday. Most times it does not get posted anywhere that a child has gone missing. Usually if the child is white and cute then its all over the news. Also, it helps if the child comes from a well off family. Any child that goes missing deserves to be found. Any child that goes missing deserves attention so that they can be found. It is truly sad that MOST children do not get coverage so that they can have a chance. I pray this little girl gets found. I also understand your point Kevin. Sometimes people have to find humor in dark places and I feel like you did that hear. I can have sympathy for her family and still laugh at this blog.

  15. Milly says:

    And another thing, I just looked up the information on this case. I am especially offended because she was taken from a GROUND floor room with her parents dining 100 yards away. They supposedly were taking turns checking on their children. This bothers me greatly. I have a three year old son and I know that I would NEVER leave him ANYWHERE ALONE, EVER. There is no way I would leave him sleeping and go somewhere else, especially in a foreign country. They left the doors and windows UNLOCKED. Why did they leave it unlocked? Could they not have just opened it with their keys to check on the kids? Why leave it open so anyone could just walk right in there.
    I am sorry, but there are cases where kids went missing and it was more intense then this. To me the parents are VERY much to blame along with the sick pervert who took the little girl. The parents should be questioned more and the twin siblings of this little girl should also be looked at for neglect. Leaving my child to go have dinner with friends. NEVER. I would NEVER do that and those that say they would are thoughtless parents because you NEVER take a chance like that. NEVER.

  16. Kevin says:

    [quote comment="4127"] To me the parents are VERY much to blame along with the sick pervert who took the little girl. The parents should be questioned more and the twin siblings of this little girl should also be looked at for neglect. [/quote]


  17. Pier says:

    Love the post.

    Joke: What does a strange man say to Madeleine when they are walking into the woods together?

    Answer: Anything he wants – they’re not coming back!

    Okay, not PC, and missing girls are a shame, but I only want further news if it’s “hey guys we found her” otherwise, the only news they should cover is that she went missing and her parents are dumb for leaving her alone in the first place. Still, the Mom’s good looking.

  18. I. Morton says:

    All the negative comments regarding Madeleine are made by people with delayed maturity and thankfully they are a tiny minority.

  19. MeMB says:

    [quote comment="362"]I write a HUMOR blog.. I use HUMOR to pick apart things that I see wrong in society. I don’t get on a political soapbox and bitch about things, I use humor to jab at things that I think are wrong[/quote]

    Yeah, I realize that, but it wasn’t very funny either. So I guess you raped your own statement for nothing then.

    Also, you don’t have to get all defensive, I’m on your side, remember?

  20. I see your point, and I agree with you to the extent that society and media CAN BE BIASED FAVORABLY towards more pleasing and socially accepted ideas of beauty. There’ve been studies done to support this, it is NOT an untruth.

    However, the reason I feel this is important, is because there is a little missing girl out there, regardless of looks, and she and her family both need this to be over, whatever sort of closure there will be. I think in this case, the fact that she’s a “cute little girl” is merely a subset of the whole equation. The fact that her family and their friends have banded together, and fortunately can afford –through donations and personal funding– to get this amount of exposure out there, is –in my opinion– the main reason we do indeed see her “cute” face and hear her name often.

    I would be more inclined to see financial funding as the reason for the saturation of information out there, than merely her “cute” face.

    I also can understand and appreciate your personal reasons for not showing support in the form of banners and posters, i.e., you’ve seen fliers and notices around, and you feel that there are enough of them out there. I’m fine with that, it makes sense to me.

    However, for ME, when it comes down to it, there’s a missing child out there and a hurting family desperately searching for her. Regardless of her looks, or her family’s financial status, I can, in this tiny little way, show my support for ALL missing children, gorgeous OR not, rich OR not, by showing my support for whatever sort of reunion there might be in this one case.

    p.s. You have a sharp, and awesome wicked sense of humor, and I wish I had the balls –regarding some issues, but NOT this one– to be as edgy as you. Serious mad props!!

  21. JCD says:

    i think this is the first time i’ve laughed more at the comments than the actual post
    its been around 110 days now
    didn’t the parents leave her in an apartment?
    ah people should actually read the post
    remember erica pratt that little girl who owned?
    She was in TIME magazine

  22. Gemma says:

    Why does everyone assume it was a paedophile who snatched Madeleine? It could have very easily been a grieving mother who lost her own child and sought to “replace” him/her in a fit of madness. It’s happened before; most notably in hospitals with newborns…so why not happen here?

    For all we know, Madeleine could be in a nice family home in a rural Italian village or somewhere else, being fed and cared for by a family who might have lost a bit of sanity after a child’s death or something.

    And for the record, I’m a little suspicious of Gerry and Kate, especially the former…now before people come and flame me for asserting my opinion I am NOT saying that they killed Madeleine or that they know of her wherabouts, however what I AM saying is that I would not be surprised if it all came out that they did know something or had something to do with it. Neither would I be suprised if they didn’t.
    And I know different people deal with loss and upset differently, it’s just a feeling and an uneasy one at that that I feel every time I see or hear of the McCann parents.

    I cannot honestly see the newsworthiness of this story any more…sure in the first month at most, but now why not push it back a few pages or a few news items? Not everyone wishes to hear about it every single morning, especially when there are no developments. When there is news, report it…but when all that’s happening is Gerry and Kate are going jogging or going to mass don’t report it, it’s sensationalization in the extreme.

    I hope Madeleine is found safe and that she will get over her trauma as life goes on and become a normal young woman. However as time goes by, I highly doubt that she’ll be found alive, unfortunately.


  23. [...] caught a ton of shit from my Madelein McCain blog a few months back. So much that I had to write a hate mail blog about [...]

  24. That Guy says:

    I gotta tell ya kev, the comments are funnier then the blog(which was great too)

  25. ddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd says:

    god y dont u just like help find er and support everything isted of just slatin it??
    ure not gunna get eniwhere

  26. Adam says:

    Great blog entry and very amusing comments!!

    I searched Google in the hope to find others that have also thought that Madeline’s disappearance is getting a tad overkill with all the excessive media coverage! – And Looks likes others have thought the same even at such an early stage.
    I wonder how many American would have guessed that even after a year from when she first disappeared, she would still get on the front pages of virtually every UK newspapers! It’s shocking really, this story must really shift newspapers!

    Thanks Kevin for an amusing blog entry despite basing it on a very sensitive subject! – You’ve struck a good balance, I like it.

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