Before I left for France I had someone ask me to post something about Madeleine McCann, the little girl that was abducted. After looking into it and seeing that it was plastered all over the place I decided not to post anything because it was getting enough coverage. After going to Europe and seeing fliers all over the place it just reinforced my choice not to post it.
Now I don’t want to say that her abduction wasn’t tragic, because it is horrible and I really hope she is found. We all know though that if her name was Latisha Jackson that there would not nearly be the outpouring of support that there is. Since she is a cute little blonde girl it is all over the news though. This kind of pisses me off because it proves once again how superficial our media and we are. I began to think about all the ugly children that have been taken from their parents and I have decided to use my “massive” internet voice to help some of these poor kids out. I reached out and contacted their parents so they could write a little blurb and get a small fraction of the press Madeleine’s parents have been hogging.
Abducted: March 19, 2007 Lincoln Nebraska
Her Parents Say: Actually we kind of don’t want her back, we are now saved the embarrassment of her getting older and comforting her while she sits at home prom night crying her eyes out. We were kind of getting sick saying, “it’s what is in the inside that counts.”
Abducted: May 19, 2006 Bakersfield, California
Her Parents Say: Kevin, please don’t help us out. Do you realize how much money we save on groceries now that we don’t have to feed her? Besides we can focus all of our attention on Danny, our talented and athletic kid. We know which gravy train to ride and the only gravy that was associated with Kim were the gallons she poured on her mashed potatoes and cornflakes.
Ross and Jacob Smith
Age: Age 12 and 13
Abducted: February 4, 2007
Their Parents Say: You realize that if we lived during Roman times we could have taken them to a cliff and thrown them off? Which would have been perfectly legal and socially accepted, but now, well it is damn hard to get rid of kids like these. I want to thank whomever took them off our hands, I wish we could pay you a reward for that.
Abducted: August 15, 2006 Austin, Texas
Her Parents Say: Those school for the blind bills were really starting to get expensive, we figured it was the only way for her to land a husband. Although we will miss using her front tooth as a bottle opener, so I guess it is a wash.
Eh I guess I see why only the cute blonde girls get press coverage…
Are you sick of the whole “insert blonde girl in distress” here type reaction we have for everything? Is it a racial bias or a looks bias or both?