First, before I go into today’s subject, I just want to share that the semester of death will be over at 11am today. I took 19 credits this semester which included over 250+ pages in papers, 1500+ pages printed out on my student printing account, 17 books purchased, all while working and writing almost everyday. In all honesty it was one of the harder things I had to do and I feel like a ridiculous weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. In celebration I am going to take pictures in my robe today with NOTHING on underneath… Ew.
So this Saturday I finally reach the light at the end of the tunnel and graduate, 5 short hours after graduation I head to the airport to leave for France and the Cannes Film Festival, where I am going to be working with a Film Distribution Company. (On a programming note: I am going to be taking a week off.)
Anyways, so this will be my first foray into the realm of international business, and as well all know I am a big, dumb animal, I think this has international incident written all over it. When I have gone abroad I have always tried my best not to be the asshole American, so I figure if I write down all of my potential mistakes it will prevent me from making them. Here is a list of things I hope not to do or say:
-To Japanese distribution companies-”Yeah so I always wondered, did you make all those Godzilla movies because we dropped the bomb on you? Also do you have any mutants over there because of that?”
-To an English businessman-”So you guys don’t get dental with your health care?” Also, “Can you please explain to me Mr. Bean?”
-To every French girl I see, “Voulez vous coucher avec moi. I don’t what it means baby but I like it.”
-To a German contingent, “So I noticed you guys don’t have anyone named Adolf with you, talk about an unpopular German name.”
-To the Israeli contingent, “We are headed over the Arab hospitality tent, want to come?”
-To the Luxembourg group, “Wait, you are just pulling my leg, you really aren’t a country right? Come on, get a map I don’t believe you.”
-To a Nigerian representative, “I didn’t know you guys had real jobs, except for sending me shitty spam e-mails?”
I am pulling the rip chord on this blog because it blows, so I open it up to you. What international relations advice to do you have? And what is something you hope I don’t say?