"Maybe it was a dream, you know, a very weird, bizarre, vivid, erotic, wet,
detailed dream. Maybe we have malaria."


An International Incident Waiting to Happen

By: Bobby Finstock on 05/17/07 @ 5:38 am

First, before I go into today’s subject, I just want to share that the semester of death will be over at 11am today. I took 19 credits this semester which included over 250+ pages in papers, 1500+ pages printed out on my student printing account, 17 books purchased, all while working and writing almost everyday. In all honesty it was one of the harder things I had to do and I feel like a ridiculous weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. In celebration I am going to take pictures in my robe today with NOTHING on underneath… Ew.

So this Saturday I finally reach the light at the end of the tunnel and graduate, 5 short hours after graduation I head to the airport to leave for France and the Cannes Film Festival, where I am going to be working with a Film Distribution Company. (On a programming note: I am going to be taking a week off.)

Anyways, so this will be my first foray into the realm of international business, and as well all know I am a big, dumb animal, I think this has international incident written all over it. When I have gone abroad I have always tried my best not to be the asshole American, so I figure if I write down all of my potential mistakes it will prevent me from making them. Here is a list of things I hope not to do or say:

-To Japanese distribution companies-”Yeah so I always wondered, did you make all those Godzilla movies because we dropped the bomb on you? Also do you have any mutants over there because of that?”

-To an English businessman-”So you guys don’t get dental with your health care?” Also, “Can you please explain to me Mr. Bean?”


-To every French girl I see, “Voulez vous coucher avec moi. I don’t what it means baby but I like it.”

-To a German contingent, “So I noticed you guys don’t have anyone named Adolf with you, talk about an unpopular German name.”

-To the Israeli contingent, “We are headed over the Arab hospitality tent, want to come?”

-To the Luxembourg group, “Wait, you are just pulling my leg, you really aren’t a country right? Come on, get a map I don’t believe you.”

-To a Nigerian representative, “I didn’t know you guys had real jobs, except for sending me shitty spam e-mails?”

I am pulling the rip chord on this blog because it blows, so I open it up to you. What international relations advice to do you have? And what is something you hope I don’t say?

Filed in: My Life

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

110 Responses to “An International Incident Waiting to Happen”

  1. says:

    And another thing, I just looked up the information on this case. I am especially offended because she was taken from a GROUND floor room with her parents dining 100 yards away. They supposedly were taking turns checking on their children. This bothers me greatly. I have a three year old son and I know that I would NEVER leave him ANYWHERE ALONE, EVER. There is no way I would leave him sleeping and go somewhere else, especially in a foreign country. They left the doors and windows UNLOCKED. Why did they leave it unlocked? Could they not have just opened it with their keys to check on the kids? Why leave it open so anyone could just walk right in there.\par
    I am sorry, but there are cases where kids went missing and it was more intense then this. To me the parents are VERY much to blame along with the sick pervert who took the little girl. The parents should be questioned more and the twin siblings of this little girl should also be looked at for neglect. Leaving my child to go have dinner with friends. NEVER. I would NEVER do that and those that say they would are thoughtless parents because you NEVER take a chance like that. NEVER.

  2. says:

    [quote comment="4127"] To me the parents are VERY much to blame along with the sick pervert who took the little girl. The parents should be questioned more and the twin siblings of this little girl should also be looked at for neglect. [/quote]\par

  3. says:

    Love the post.\par
    Joke: What does a strange man say to Madeleine when they are walking into the woods together?\par
    Answer: Anything he wants – they’re not coming back!\par
    Okay, not PC, and missing girls are a shame, but I only want further news if it’s “hey guys we found her” otherwise, the only news they should cover is that she went missing and her parents are dumb for leaving her alone in the first place. Still, the Mom’s good looking.

  4. says:

    All the negative comments regarding Madeleine are made by people with delayed maturity and thankfully they are a tiny minority.

  5. says:

    [quote comment="362"]I write a HUMOR blog.. I use HUMOR to pick apart things that I see wrong in society. I don’t get on a political soapbox and bitch about things, I use humor to jab at things that I think are wrong[/quote]\par
    Yeah, I realize that, but it wasn’t very funny either. So I guess you raped your own statement for nothing then.\par
    Also, you don’t have to get all defensive, I’m on your side, remember?

  6. says:

    I see your point, and I agree with you to the extent that society and media CAN BE BIASED FAVORABLY towards more pleasing and socially accepted ideas of beauty. There’ve been studies done to support this, it is NOT an untruth.\par
    However, the reason I feel this is important, is because there is a little missing girl out there, regardless of looks, and she and her family both need this to be over, whatever sort of closure there will be. I think in this case, the fact that she’s a “cute little girl” is merely a subset of the whole equation. The fact that her family and their friends have banded together, and fortunately can afford –through donations and personal funding– to get this amount of exposure out there, is –in my opinion– the main reason we do indeed see her “cute” face and hear her name often. \par
    I would be more inclined to see financial funding as the reason for the saturation of information out there, than merely her “cute” face.\par
    I also can understand and appreciate your personal reasons for not showing support in the form of banners and posters, i.e., you’ve seen fliers and notices around, and you feel that there are enough of them out there. I’m fine with that, it makes sense to me.\par
    However, for ME, when it comes down to it, there’s a missing child out there and a hurting family desperately searching for her. Regardless of her looks, or her family’s financial status, I can, in this tiny little way, show my support for ALL missing children, gorgeous OR not, rich OR not, by showing my support for whatever sort of reunion there might be in this one case.\par
    p.s. You have a sharp, and awesome wicked sense of humor, and I wish I had the balls –regarding some issues, but NOT this one– to be as edgy as you. Serious mad props!!

  7. says:

    i think this is the first time i’ve laughed more at the comments than the actual post\par
    its been around 110 days now\par
    didn’t the parents leave her in an apartment?\par
    ah people should actually read the post\par
    remember erica pratt that little girl who owned?\par
    She was in TIME magazine

  8. says:

    Why does everyone assume it was a paedophile who snatched Madeleine? It could have very easily been a grieving mother who lost her own child and sought to “replace” him/her in a fit of madness. It’s happened before; most notably in hospitals with newborns…so why not happen here?\par
    For all we know, Madeleine could be in a nice family home in a rural Italian village or somewhere else, being fed and cared for by a family who might have lost a bit of sanity after a child’s death or something.\par
    And for the record, I’m a little suspicious of Gerry and Kate, especially the former…now before people come and flame me for asserting my opinion I am NOT saying that they killed Madeleine or that they know of her wherabouts, however what I AM saying is that I would not be surprised if it all came out that they did know something or had something to do with it. Neither would I be suprised if they didn’t.\par
    And I know different people deal with loss and upset differently, it’s just a feeling and an uneasy one at that that I feel every time I see or hear of the McCann parents.\par
    I cannot honestly see the newsworthiness of this story any more…sure in the first month at most, but now why not push it back a few pages or a few news items? Not everyone wishes to hear about it every single morning, especially when there are no developments. When there is news, report it…but when all that’s happening is Gerry and Kate are going jogging or going to mass don’t report it, it’s sensationalization in the extreme.\par
    I hope Madeleine is found safe and that she will get over her trauma as life goes on and become a normal young woman. However as time goes by, I highly doubt that she’ll be found alive, unfortunately.\par

  9. says:

    [...] caught a ton of shit from my Madelein McCain blog a few months back. So much that I had to write a hate mail blog about [...]

  10. says:

    I could be the lone defeatist here and say something about population control but I won’t. I’ll just nod in agreeance with this blog and be done with it.

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