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It doesn’t take much to entertain me

By: Bobby Finstock on 05/7/07 @ 5:23 am

I logged into my crapspace account the other day and was reading a few of the blog comments that were left on my blog. I noticed a guy cut into the top and posted his own blog right on my page, it had nothing to do with what I had written and at the bottom it said, “If you like what you have read come to my page.”

Last time I checked my blog wasn’t a billboard so I deleted it, and being the dumbass I am, instead of just moving on, I sent him a message just saying that stuff isn’t kosher. It wasn’t worded harshly or anything, I just figured it might be a nice thing to do because he might really piss someone off doing that… So I log in today and I get this nasty message that ended with him saying, “when I get to the top I’ll remember who are my friends and who are my enemies.”

This might have been the single stupidest hate mail I have ever received, the top of what? Ugh, anyways…

I laughed it off, blocked the guy, and went on with my day but when I was driving home from campus I began to think…. What if this guy is right? What happens when he gets to the magical top of myspace land, will I be left out in the cold?

What if I need a kidney and he is my only match on earth?

How screwed would I be? Do you think he would come into my hospital room and taunt me mercilessly? I will be bedridden and in the ultimate form of hatred, he would sit in the corner tossing kidney beans at me one by one.

Saying things like, “I bet you wish these were real kidneys.”

kidney beans

Who knows maybe next Christmas…

His MySpace fame will make him an international sex symbol, he turns down calls from Jessica Alba, Pamela Anderson, and Carmen Electra only to start having an elicit affair with my mom. I come home for Christmas and learn that my mom is in the process of divorcing my stepdad, she is there canoodling on the couch with her new boyfriend, the douchebag from myspace.

I am then informed that I am getting NOTHING for Christmas because her new boyfriend told her that she shouldn’t spend money on me. Not even socks and undies…. Not even sock and undies.

That bastard….

Or maybe…

After a horrible trip down a water slide, I sprawl into the pool gasping for air, possibly on my last breath and fighting for my life. He pulls me out of the pool and instead of giving me mouth to mouth, he teabags me…

I wonder if I can go through life risking the possibility of any of these events occurring? You know what, I think I will risk it.

What is the dumbest threat you have heard someone make?

Also, a few months back I announced that I was going to get paid to write a business blog about social networking websites and how to use them to promote your business, after delays because of school and because of redesigns buzznetworker.com is up and running. Everyday I am just going to put a link at the bottom of my blog for the entry I posted that day, if you want to check it out good, if not that is cool too. Don’t feel like you have to comment over there, I could care less about comments on that page, unless you really have some feedback you want to give.

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

2 Responses to “It doesn’t take much to entertain me”

  1. Shai Coggins says:

    LOL. Well, what if YOU get to the top? Or he’s the one who needs your kidneys? Burning bridges works both ways. ;-)

    Oh, and I did leave a comment on your b5 blog. Heh. :-)

  2. Kevin says:

    I already peaked in the land of myspace… I have been to the summit and there is nothing there :)

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