Facts about women

There are a lot of guys on the internet that write about relationships, they act like they know the opposite sex or think they can explain them . I call it all hogwash, that these guys don’t know the first thing about women. Today though I will set a few things straight and explain some undeniable FACTS about the fairer gender.

Women don’t poop-

I have never seen a women do that, nor have I ever heard one express the fact that they got the “green apple splatters”. According to Swedish scientist Lars Von Lars, women don’t produce any excrement and also don’t fart. His other research includes cutting edge theories on improved driving ability after drinking a bottle of tequila, although his early tests have failed miserably.

(side note: because of this you can no longer refer to a women’s ass as a Hershey highway and you absolutely can not refer to yourself as her personal brown eyed master.)

Women like it when you say, “You are just like your mother.”-

There is no way to end an argument better, she will instantly be happy and will agree with anything you say after that. If she replies that she will, “cut your cock off for saying that” she is just playing around, but make sure you hide any cutlery in the home just to be on the safe side.

Dutch Ovens are an acceptable, no wait, preferred form of foreplay-

Women like the way men smell, this is just a natural extension of this theory. Try it tonight, I am sure she will stay under the covers and not come up for air for a long time.

A casual reminder that a pair of jeans makes her ass look fat is considered helpful-

In order to look out for your lady interest, make sure you let her know, without her asking, that she looks fat in a pair of jeans. They will appreciate you looking out for them.

The most romantic thing you can do after a night of drinking with your friends is to…-

Sneak into the bedroom, take off your pants, and tap her on her forehead with your penis saying, “Mr. Wiggly wants to play.” There isn’t a more romantic way to wake a woman up, 9 out of 10 women Russian Hookers surveyed agree!

There you have it, guys make sure you employ this knowledge and these techniques as soon as possible for a happier and healthier relationship. Ladies, there is no need to thank me, I have given you a voice that you have so longed to have.

Is this solid advice? Is there anything you would like to add?