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Wow, Sex Education Has Changed Since I Was in School

By: Bobby Finstock on 05/1/07 @ 6:34 am

This story is a little bit old, I had it bookmarked to blog about it and it just kind of got lost in the shuffle.

The opening paragraph of the article sums it up nicely:

NEW ORLEANS, Louisiana (AP) — Five fifth-grade students face criminal charges after authorities said four of them had sex in front of other students in an unsupervised classroom and kept a classmate posted as a lookout for teachers.

Apparently the teacher left the students alone to go to an assembly for older students, she was gone for 15 minutes when an orgy basically broke out in her class. Ten students were there watching, eventually a student told a high schooler about the situation and authorities were notified.

There are so many lingering questions from this story:

1) How did they know where to put it?

In fifth grade I probably would have thought you stuck it in a girls ear let alone deciding to have vaginal intercourse in front of a room fellow students. Where the hell do kids learn these things?

2) I never had a teacher leave the room for 15 minutes…

So would there have been a wild sex party if they were gone that long? The most a teacher ever left a room I was in was probably 5 minutes top. We only threw papers at each other, man I really missed out.

3) How to you get from point A to point B?

Was this preplanned?

“Mary, if the teacher ever leaves the classroom for more than five minutes can we have sex?”

(Thinking the teacher never leaves) “Sure, Jason, whatever…”

Or maybe the guys had to talk them up within that 15 minute period.

“You know Mary, I really like that Jessica Simpson shirt you have on, it really accentuates your flat chest, it makes me hot.”

4) What if you were one of the other ten students?

Do you feel left out like you were the last kid picked for dodgeball in gym class?

Do you try and work it with one of the other girls, “You see that Missy, I mean if they are already doing it… don’t you think we should join in?”

Do you watch or try and do your math homework? You know the one baptist kid in the class was probably freaking out.

5) Did the lookout get short changed?

They didn’t get to watch, didn’t get to have sex, and got arrested, didn’t they totally get the short end of the stick?

Well anyways, I hope the teacher really enjoyed the assembly.

What thoughts/questions do you have about all this?

Filed in: News

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

One Response to “Wow, Sex Education Has Changed Since I Was in School”

  1. randi says:

    I always feel like such a late bloomer when I read stories like this. I mean I was almost 16 before I even got my first kiss. Sad, sad shit.

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