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This is my last blog ever… I’m moving to Tokyo

By: Bobby Finstock on 04/26/07 @ 5:33 am

(Thanks to everyone that commented yesterday, it was cool to see the different points of view. I had trouble getting into blogs last night but I will go back and finish up commenting up at some point today. There were a lot of well thought comments and debates in there. Now on to a totally stupid blog.)

I have decided to retire from blogging and go to Tokyo to fight the Yakuza and become a drift champion. Now this is going to come as a shock to a lot of you, and I am sure a lot of you are saying, “What the fuck is drifting?”

As far as drifting goes, I really don’t get it but if a partially retarded kid from Texas named Sean Boswell can do it, I am pretty confident that I can pick it up. Hell I watched him beat the annoying older brother from “Home Improvement”, and I didn’t even know that kid raced professionally.

Where did I see him do this? I watched the awe inspiring “Fast and the Furious Tokyo Drift” and my life has been changed forever, I think this was a documentary on HBO that I stumbled across while half asleep on Saturday night. Never before have I watched a documentary so awe inspiring. Who would have thought an Asian kid would be out trying to impress his uncle by taking out an American. If it wasn’t a documentary I would think that they were ripping it right out of Karate Kid 2.

Yeah I know I am a little too excited about this documentary, after seeing “Murderball” I wanted to become crippled so I could play wheel chair rugby. But this time I think I have totally thought everything out.

Sure I can barely change a headlight in my car, but really… I am so inspired by this movie, I have to live out my dream. Look at the benefits of forgoing grad school and running away to Japan to do this:

Scantily clad Asian girls….

tokyo drift

If they like Lil Bow Wow, they gots to loves me….

When drifting becomes an Olympic sport I am so in

Shit they let ballroom dancing in… I figure that we need to have a solid American drifting team, since I don’t have Olympic like ability in anything else except shuffleboard, I am going to have to bank on this and train in Japan. Olympic glory can be mine!

I might get to go head to head against Dominic Toretto

fast and the furious

Here I thought he just drove off to Mexico… Who knew he was racing in Asia this whole time?

I think my logic and reasoning is pretty sound…

Wait “Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift” wasn’t a documentary?

Sean Boswell was really actor Lucas Black whose entire career has been made by acting like a retarded Texan in every single movie he as been in? “We need a guy with a southern drawl, with slightly fucked up teeth, that may or may not be a mongoloid…. Get Lucas Black on the phone stat!” Black’s limited acting range makes Michael Rappaport look like Al Pacino.

Why does shit like this get made but my script, “Why I Hate Olivia Newton John” is totally ignored? I am not so pissed that this movie got made but at myself, for some reason I sat there and watched the entire thing. I would like to blame it on the fact that I lost the remote control or something like that but I sat there in a trance like state unable to turn my head away from the horrible acting and predictable script.

I guess I should call my graduate school and tell them I didn’t want to give up my spot after all…

Did there really need to be a third Fast and the Furious movie, why god, why? What other movie should have never had a sequel made?

Filed in: My Life

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

3 Responses to “This is my last blog ever… I’m moving to Tokyo”

  1. Candi says:

    You know Kevin, Prequels can be just as bad. But on the subject of sequels…they should have NEVER made more than one Crow movie. Especially the 4th one with Tito Ortiz (UFC fighter).

  2. Kevin says:

    There is a movie with Tito Ortiz?


  3. ,..] pointlessbanter.net is other interesting source of information on this subject,..]

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