(Thanks to everyone that commented yesterday, it was cool to see the different points of view. I had trouble getting into blogs last night but I will go back and finish up commenting up at some point today. There were a lot of well thought comments and debates in there. Now on to a totally stupid blog.)
I have decided to retire from blogging and go to Tokyo to fight the Yakuza and become a drift champion. Now this is going to come as a shock to a lot of you, and I am sure a lot of you are saying, “What the fuck is drifting?”
As far as drifting goes, I really don’t get it but if a partially retarded kid from Texas named Sean Boswell can do it, I am pretty confident that I can pick it up. Hell I watched him beat the annoying older brother from “Home Improvement”, and I didn’t even know that kid raced professionally.
Where did I see him do this? I watched the awe inspiring “Fast and the Furious Tokyo Drift” and my life has been changed forever, I think this was a documentary on HBO that I stumbled across while half asleep on Saturday night. Never before have I watched a documentary so awe inspiring. Who would have thought an Asian kid would be out trying to impress his uncle by taking out an American. If it wasn’t a documentary I would think that they were ripping it right out of Karate Kid 2.
Yeah I know I am a little too excited about this documentary, after seeing “Murderball” I wanted to become crippled so I could play wheel chair rugby. But this time I think I have totally thought everything out.
Sure I can barely change a headlight in my car, but really… I am so inspired by this movie, I have to live out my dream. Look at the benefits of forgoing grad school and running away to Japan to do this:
Scantily clad Asian girls….
If they like Lil Bow Wow, they gots to loves me….
When drifting becomes an Olympic sport I am so in
Shit they let ballroom dancing in… I figure that we need to have a solid American drifting team, since I don’t have Olympic like ability in anything else except shuffleboard, I am going to have to bank on this and train in Japan. Olympic glory can be mine!
I might get to go head to head against Dominic Toretto
Here I thought he just drove off to Mexico… Who knew he was racing in Asia this whole time?
I think my logic and reasoning is pretty sound…
Wait “Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift” wasn’t a documentary?
Sean Boswell was really actor Lucas Black whose entire career has been made by acting like a retarded Texan in every single movie he as been in? “We need a guy with a southern drawl, with slightly fucked up teeth, that may or may not be a mongoloid…. Get Lucas Black on the phone stat!” Black’s limited acting range makes Michael Rappaport look like Al Pacino.
Why does shit like this get made but my script, “Why I Hate Olivia Newton John” is totally ignored? I am not so pissed that this movie got made but at myself, for some reason I sat there and watched the entire thing. I would like to blame it on the fact that I lost the remote control or something like that but I sat there in a trance like state unable to turn my head away from the horrible acting and predictable script.
I guess I should call my graduate school and tell them I didn’t want to give up my spot after all…
Did there really need to be a third Fast and the Furious movie, why god, why? What other movie should have never had a sequel made?