Over analyzing with nothing to analyze

The other day I turned on the tv to see the events unfold at Virginia Tech. At that point everything was still rather sketchy and details were hard to come by. A mere 5 hours after the shooting there was someone on CNN criticizing the way things were handled by the university. This is before they knew ANYTHING about what happened besides the location and estimated body count. They were attempting to give an expert opinion and analysis before anything was actually known, which seems to be the norm now. It would be like me giving you a breakdown of the amount of women I will sleep with for the rest of my life. Sure I can make a ballpark guess but it would be a large waste of all our time because I have zero facts to give you any analysis.

I used to be the kind of guy that woke up every morning and put Sportscenter on to watch all the highlights and get caught up on what happened the night before. About a year ago I couldn’t watch it anymore because the highlights had been scaled back and replaced with random talking heads constantly giving their opinion and analysis on previous events or events that had yet to come. It was at that point I had to stop watching because it was no longer about what had transpired the night before with me catching the highlights and the lowlights, now it was filled with people talking about a handful of topics over and over and over. These people weren’t just giving opinions, they were trying to ratchet issues up and debate the most minuet things. I am waiting for the day when I turn it on and people are debating about the type of cups someone is wearing and how the chaffing it causes on the players right thigh has hurt his performance.

We live in a society that has officially crossed the point of over analysis, be it sports, news, politics, entertainment, or whatever. I was talking to a friend about this the other day and they wanted to blame the 24-7 news environment we live in as the reason for that, but lets face it, there is more than enough things to cover in this world. I personally blame a lot of this on talk radio, where everyone is always trying to have a strong opinion no matter what they are talking about. Because of all this I have withdrew a little more from tv, radio, and even the internet to some extent, I have taken less interest in the world around me because the way things are presented.

Last night I was flipping around the channels and I think I ended up watching the news again. As I began to drift off into sleep with hopes of a wet dream starring a young Sally Field, Me, and a jar of marmalade, I thought I heard the tv talking about and analyzing what I was going to have for breakfast tomorrow morning.

This is how it went:

Jeff: I am joined here tonight by Tim Upshaw, a nutritionist and amateur lion tamer, tomorrow is another day for Kevin and as we all know breakfast is the most important meals of the day. Tim, what and more importantly why is Kevin going to choose what he is going to choose?

Tim: Well never having actually met Kevin and knowing very little about him except for his love of anal fisting jokes, I am going to have to go out on a limb here and say he is going to with some Cinnamon Oatmeal, possibly with Raisins.
Jeff: Honestly, Tim does he look like an oatmeal guy?

Tim: Speaking from my expert opinion, I think his fat ass should be looking a tad more into the wonderful world of oatmeal.

Jeff: There are rumors that he maybe considering cocoa krispies with 1% milk. Is there any truth to that?

Tim: That is unconfirmed Jeff but I do know he lives in a city with a supermarket that carries cocoa krispies.

Jeff: So that would make it a 90% chance you think?

Tim: It is too early to tell.

Jeff: If he goes with the cocoa krispies what are the ramifications for the entire west coast?

Tim: Well there is the possibility he could be driving to school and suffer a major heart attack because of the cocoa krispies creating a massive car accident that could snarl up traffic all along the west coast.

Jeff: Are you warning all west coast residents to consider leaving for work a little early just in case Kevin has a heart attack?

Tim: I’m just a nutritionist Jeff, but I always tell people to prepare for the worst.

Jeff: You heard it here first, Kevin will keel over while driving to school tomorrow because of his massive addiction to cocoa krispies. Make sure you turn in here tomorrow for extensive coverage of why Kevin’s inability to say no to chocolate breakfast cereals impacted the entire traffic pattern of the west coast.

***

Just to be safe I went with the oatmeal this morning.

Tackle the first half, the serious points or make smart ass remarks, I have no idea where the blog started or ended or went.