The Odd Shower
One thing I have come to notice in my life is that when you stay at someone’s home as a guest, as a hookup, or possibly as home invader taking a shower there for the first time is one of the most complex tasks you do in life. Taking hotels or motels out of the equation, showering at a new place is always something that adds at least 15 minutes to me getting ready. There are so many issues that come into play with this:
How do you turn this thing on?
For five minutes before you jump in the shower you have to examine the apparatus. Why is it that nobody else ever has remotely the same plumbing as you do? For whatever reason when you shower at a new place they always have one major issue that you aren’t used to. Maybe it is the one knob setup that you can never figure out how to adjust the temperature properly. Possibly they have the random way to turn the water from the faucet to the shower that you have never seen, like pulling the head of the faucet down. Then there is always the chance that they have the extreme oddity of having the plumbing reversed, where hot is cold and cold is hot.
Any of these little differences always takes some time to overcome. The thing is you don’t want to keep experimenting by turning the water off and on because you don’t want the people in the house to ask what the hell you are doing. Of course you could be stuck with something that has multiple shower heads and hi tech temperature regulators for the built in sauna. These are two things that are so mind boggling that I usually end up taking a bath in the sink.
The water pressure surprise
Finding out what their water pressure in their shower actually is… well it’s kind of like waiting to see what the results of your HIV test are. There is anticipation and dread all at the same time. You are sitting there hoping that it won’t dribble out of the head and when they have awesome water pressure you feel like you won a small prize.
Is it considered rude to piss in a somebody else’s shower?
One of the small moral debates we must have with ourselves at one point in our lives will arise and how will you act?
Which personal hygiene product is right for you?
First of all why is it when you shower at a different place they have approximately 15 different kind of hair care products in their shower, when at home you have like two? Of course they are never what you have, so you spend the next five minutes reading the different bottles. Here is where the self evaluation begins… Do you have damaged hair? Dandruff? Should you use a product for hair with coloring support even though you don’t have coloring? What about this shampoo for curly hair when you have straight hair? How much shine and bounce do you want? Do you use the all in one shampoo or do you use a separate shampoo and conditioner? Then you have to evaluate the smell, are you going to smell like a chick if you are using this strawberry kiwi blend?
All of this is too much…. I haven’t even begun to talk about the guessing game that is, “how much can I poop without worrying about clogging their toilet.” That is like Russian roulette for house guests.
Is it me or is this something we all go through? Share your strange shower stories with me…
see, i always make the mistake of turning off the water, and end up looking like a fool. and about peeing in somebody elses shower; totally acceptable.
Great blog! I used to date a girl thats family had a water softner. The water was so soft, you felt like you had soap on you no matter how much you rinsed…so I always jumped in the swimming pool afterwards so the chlorine would get rid of that feel.
[quote comment="2174"]see, i always make the mistake of turning off the water, and end up looking like a fool. and about peeing in somebody elses shower; totally acceptable.[/quote]
The turning on and off just makes you look bad… You gotta let it play out.
[quote comment="2177"]Great blog! I used to date a girl thats family had a water softner. The water was so soft, you felt like you had soap on you no matter how much you rinsed…so I always jumped in the swimming pool afterwards so the chlorine would get rid of that feel.[/quote]
but don’t you worry about the crappy chlorine smell you deal with rest of the day?
[...] have documented before my hatred of showering in a new place, in fact I would say it ranks high on my list of [...]
The secret is to get them to take a shower with you. That way you get twice as clean, twice as fast and a soapy handjob – best way to start the day.
I always have a hard time figuring out which is hot and which is cold with all the different hardware that’s out there…..sorry, just can’t bring myself to pee in someone elses shower though…
I stayed at a friends house one time and took a shower. when I got out I saw a basket of nicely folded towels in the corner so I took one to dry off with. I had stayed there before and had seen the family put the towel in the washing machine after they were done. Little did I know I touched the forbidden towels. I later found out they were there for decoration only. It was a long time before I stayed there again and used their shower.
Why would someone have towels just for decoration? That’s such a waste of practicality!
I take it im the only one who always has the trouble with friends who have incredibly high water pressure and water that takes around 5 minuits to heat up; only i never remember this until im inside the shower pressed up to the glass on the side because its fucking freezing!
nice blogx
I’ve got a one knob setup at my house so I like to think of myself as a seasoned shower veteran.
This is not the case.
In my touring days, I kept my own shower head, slip-joint pliers, and Teflon tape in my hotel bag. I didn’t even bother with the installed shower head, it was my own high-pressure head that went up automatically. Took about 5 seconds. It didn’t help the “mystery” control situation, but it made me happy, as so many simple things do.
When i took a trip to Italy with the choir i was in when i was younger, i had a similar problem. The language gap definitely made that shower one of the most unpleasant in my life time, i should have taken a quick lesson in spanish/italian before i went… (c is hot, not cold…)fail