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We might as well go back to bartering

By: Bobby Finstock on 03/30/07 @ 6:15 am

By now everyone probably has heard about the massive id theft from TJX, the company that operates T.J. Maxx and Marshalls.

I was watching the ABC news last night and of course they showed some man on the street type reactions, which is always a sure way for me to lose my faith in all of humanity. When one person was asked if she would shop there again she replied, “The reward to save a few dollars isn’t worth the huge risk.”

Another shopper said she was only going to carry cash around when shopped at retailers that she, “didn’t trust.” Isn’t this going a tad far people?

While ID theft is a serious thing, isn’t this just a known risk at this point? We can do all we can to protect ourselves but the bad guys, if they really want to, will find loop holes in the system. It’s not that we shouldn’t expect companies to improve their security measures but we need to come to grips that this is a risk just like when we drive a car we could get into an accident. Or that if a guy wears hot pants people might think he is gay.

My question to the overly concerned, why not just take it all a step further? As I continued to watch my question was answered, somebody did take it a step further, here is what I saw:

(Shows a close up of Bob Miller, which an ABC microphone in his face.)

Miller: Yeah you know I just totally can’t trust our entire monetary system at this point, I have decided to just revert back to bartering. You know exchanging goods or services without the use of money? I have been doing it for a week now, in fact I just bought this new car.

(The camera pans back to show Bob in a new Land Rover. His family populates the vehicle with him, his wife in the passengers seat and his two daughters in back, one is crying heavily.)

Miller: I just exchanged my 16 year old daughters virginity and a year of sexual indentured servitude for this fine automobile.

(Miller’s wife is beaming with pride, while she extends her hand to the thigh of their distraught 16 year old daughter.)

Miller: In fact they even threw in the under coating for free, if I promised that she would lose 5 pounds before she turned 18 when our end of the deal takes effect. (Bob looks into the rear view mirror at his daughter) Remember honey, no more carbs for awhile! I was a little worried that I was giving up to much, in fact we tried to make the deal with her older sister but they would only give us a used Ford Festiva. Who can blame them, just look at her…

fat teenager

(The Miller family drives away in their new Land Rover.)

After seeing this piece on the news I cut up all my credit cards and burnt my cash, I am all about the barter system right now. So I have decided to upgrade some of my possessions. I am willing to trade my cootie boxer shorts for something….


(fake crap stained toilet paper not included)

I am totally serious about this, what would you exchange for my cootie boxer shorts? (I am really aiming for a private jet.)

Second question: Does the man on the street interview make you laugh or fill you with utter fear that these people inhabit the same planet as you?

Filed in: News

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

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