My entry into the student publication: My first erotic fiction piece ever

The other day I saw a posting on campus where they are accepting submissions for the student publication for this year. I figured that this would be a great opportunity to branch out and write in a style that I am not used to. For the publication they ask for either poetry or prose.

Now I took a shot at writing poetry this fall and I don’t think it is at the level they would want. If you want to read that failure you can see it here. Looking at my blogs I would hardly consider them quality prose, I don’t think a blog would translate in this medium very well. So I have decided to branch out and write my first piece of erotic fiction from a guy’s point of view, I hope you all enjoy this. This is the just the opening to it…

*****

I was sitting at the end of a smoke filled bar with my friend Karl, we were drinking and talking about the news of the day when she walked into the room.

“Take a look at her,” Karl said as he elbowed me in the side.

My head looked up and I soaked her in, finally opening my mouth to say, “Man I bet you she takes it in the ass.”

Karl, nodded in agreement, “I’ve got a hundred bucks that you can’t get a blumpkin from her.”

“Are you kidding, I am the blumpkin master,” I replied with overwhelming confidence. “You are on my friend, if you want, why don’t we throw in a dirty sanchez for another hundred.”

Karl, inquisitively asked, “Honestly, I don’t know how you are single, you are truly a romantic… How can a woman ever let you go? I will accept the sanchez stipulation because I know that is how you like to say goodbye.”

“I don’t know my friend, I don’t know, my heart has been broken so much. Maybe I call girls too soon, who knows. My last girlfriend abruptly broke up with me after I gave her a strawberry shortcake… I just don’t get it. That is what she said she wanted for her birthday dessert, but when I gave it to her she acted all upset and even called the cops.”

“What a bitch, you were only giving her what she wanted,” Karl became animated and upset. “You are such a good guy, I can’t understand how anyone could do that to you. Well slugger, I think this could be the one, go and work your charm.”

I got up from the bar and headed down to where the tall blonde with a massive rack was sitting, when I got next to her I pretended to drop money on the ground so I could smell her rear. As I rose to stand I took in one deep inhalation of her scent. This fine example of a women must have heard me and turned around.

“Can I help you?”, she asked with a tone filled with utter disgust.

“Oh, I just dropped some money from my pocket, you can help me actually, are you good at math?”

She moved her head up and down with a sly smirk on her face.

“Good because I have a little problem for you, let’s add you and I, subtract your clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.”

The smirk was wiped off her face and was replaced again by the look of utter disgust. I quickly recovered and asked if I could buy her a drink which she begrudgingly accepted. We started to converse she asked for my name and I told her, she replied with hers but I quickly forgot because I was studying her figure. Then she talked about how she had a tough week at work or school or at home, I really wasn’t sure which because I was just waiting to get my chance to talk again. Finally she took a sip of her drink, I recognized my opening and decided to cut to the chase.

“Are we going to screw or what?”

“Well, uh… I just met you, why don’t we see how things develop, will you order me another drink while I go to the rest room?”

Even though I was upset because I was going to have to spend another seven dollars on her with no definite sign of getting laid, I accepted. She headed to the bathroom and I looked down the bar at Karl, who started to laugh and look at his watch. I knew that I needed to close the deal soon, so I reached into my pocket and pulled out two little pills. When the bartender returned with the drink I dropped the roofies into the glass and quickly stirred it with a straw. Shortly there after whatever her name returned from the bathroom and tapped me on the shoulder.

“You know it has been a rough week and I really need to have some fun. Since the only two guys at the bar are you and that mutant looking guy at the end of the bar I figure that I might as well just go home with you and save all this time,” what’s her face said as she reached for her drink.

Not wanting her to be a limp noodle I jerked my hand to knock over the drink…

“Oh sorry about that, we can pick up a bottle of Schlitz at the corner store on the way to my car.”

“Are we going to your place or mine?”, she asked as she grabbed her purse.

I shook my head in disbelief, “Didn’t you hear me? I said we are on the way to my car. Women fucking never listen, hurry up before the viagra I snorted at lunch wears off.”

So do you guys think this is a good start, should I submit the finished product? And ladies on a scale of 1-10 how turned on are you at this point?