Bad Ink aka what the suicide girls have

I was talking with my friend Leah the other day via IM while I was in the library, a girl walked by me with a barbed wire tattoo on her bicep. Not original by any means but the thing was the tat was just on the front of the bicep, it didn’t go all the way around. Leah informed me that the inner part of the arm is really sensitive so she probably balked at the pain.

We decided that it was kind of selling out, like you are there you might as well go the full nine right? It is kind of like getting in a plane ready to go skydiving and then at the last minute deciding you will only do a tandem jump. Or you are about to violate your cell mate in prison and decide only to lick his nipple, what is the point you know?

This led to a whole conversation of what is bad ink? The one thing that I have noticed since I moved out here to Southern California is just the ridiculous amount of bad ink people have out here. After much discussion I think we can break bad ink down into a few categories.

1) The cliche- Tribal tattoos, roses, barbed wire and tramp stamps all have officially fallen into the cliche category. Now if you have had any of these for more than a year you are okay but going forward I think we can safely assume that it is no longer cool to get any of these. Although I do love the tramp stamps, I have a weakness for them and I am not ashamed to admit it. That and belly chains, I don’t know why but I will come out and say I adore them both.

2) The sentiment now ruined- Wedding bands, anything with an ex-girlfriend or boyfriend, the name of a band that quickly became uncool, the number of your favorite player that ended up getting traded. There is nothing that is more likely to curse and make something totally good go to shit than getting ink of it. The best is people that don’t tell the other person that they are getting it done and then have to tell them. Which 9 times out of 10 really leads to an uncomfortable situation.

“Linda I really love you, in fact I love you so much I got your name tattooed on my heart.”

“I just had a three-some with your brother and uncle.”

“Shit.”

3) It’s not your culture- Anything with Asian symbols, flags for countries when you are really only 1/4 of that ethnicity, and anything written in Gaelic. Yeah I could go with the stock joke that it probably says “I like fat chicks” in Chinese on your arm but why go there? This might be one of the worst categories because people always try and tell you a story to back up what they got…

“Yeah I got stabbed once so I decided to get the Chinese word for pin cushion tattooed on my arm.”

“I had a life changing event so I went with the ying yang symbol.”

“Well my grandmother is like half Navajo so this wind talker, that is my heritage.”

Right…..

4) The what the fuck was I thinking tat- Flaming bananas behind the ear, the giant gecko lizard on the forearm, a frog… anywhere, the giant arm sleeve of every Kiss album cover…

These are my personal favorite tats because really soon after people get them their friends start giving them shit about it they always justify that they can get it removed. Of course they don’t understand the cost or pain involved but you can see the doubt creeping into their head the more they get shit about it.

“Rebecca I can’t believe you got a tattoo around your neck that says, “Death to the Establishment” aren’t you in college to be an accountant?”

“Well my boyfriend said it looked good, besides I am young, when I am ready to get a job I can just go and get it removed.”

“You know it takes like 6-12 visits and it costs like $400 per visit.”

“Well what is $4,000 when I will be a high level accountant?”

“Not with that shitty tat you won’t.”

“Well I guess I could always strip.”

“Not with that shitty tat you won’t.”

“Well I always could be a suicide girl, they will take anybody.”

What do you think is the worst kind of tattoo, and what do you think is the best?

Just for the record I vote Henry Rollins bar code tattoo on the back of his neck as the best…