When I was in third grad the teacher read us “Charlotte’s Web”, for some reason the ending of the book with the spider dying freaked me the fuck out. I couldn’t sleep for at least a week after hearing that and I began to have some serious issues in facing mortality. My mom noticed that I wasn’t sleeping well and grilled the information out of me like all good mothers know how to do. A friend of hers was there and said that she thought I was afraid of nuclear war and that I should write Reagan. How the two things connected I have no idea, just like I have no idea how this connects to the rest of my blog.
Anyways since that point I think I have ran across things that have given me irrational phobias that I deal with in everyday life. Such as:
I can’t sleep with my bedroom door open-
It could be 120 degrees out and the only way my room can get ventilation is by opening the door and I won’t do it. For some reason I can’t sleep with my bedroom door open, I will wake up all night and keep popping out of bed thinking someone is in the doorway.
I think that if someone does break into the house that I will be able to hear them opening my door and pop out of bed to fight them. Of course I am the same guy that slept through the Northridge Earthquake as a high school student. Also I would like to point out that whenever I think about fighting the would be robber it is always the fight scene from “They Live”.
I am afraid that something is going to bite me on the ass while taking a shit-
If I am on the groan throne for a long period of time I periodically check in the toilet to make sure nothing is in there. Maybe it is because I heard all of this alligators in the sewer stories as a kid, I don’t know. But if I am sitting for more than five minutes I am compelled to check.
One time I was dating this girl for a long period of time, we were comfortable getting ready in the bathroom while the other person was doing their business. I needed to take a look while dropping the Huxtables off at the pool one day and I took a second to take a peak, she caught me doing it and said, “What are you laying a big one?”
I nervously replied yes and felt that I would rather have her think I am a shit admirer than someone freaked out about getting bit in the ass by a random toilet creature.
What irrational fears do you have of every day events?