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Feb
24

Drunken Mistakes Volume 11- Wedding Crashing, Dry Humping, and a Cat Fight

By: Bobby Finstock on 02/24/07 @ 7:01 am

Time to dip into the reoccurring series Drunken Mistakes, you can read some of the previous posts here.

A few years back one of my best friends got married, well thankfully he got married because that was in high doubt after his bachelor party… but that is another story for another day. In his wedding party was my entire group of friends that lived with me in Geneseo, so we all decided to go stag to the event to maximize the optimum fun, plus none of us wanted to deal with our girlfriends that weekend.

The wedding went smoothly and it was a nice ceremony which took place an hour away from us in Buffalo. After the ceremony there was like a three hour gap before pictures and the reception, it was decided the best course of action was to get totally and utterly ripped with half of the bridal party at a dive bar near the reception. This stellar idea led to the following things:

-A drunken wedding toast- I remember starting it out with the Gettysburg Address and just going from there… I had to have sounded like Paula Abdul, well just the slurred speech not the annoying voice.

-Kevin Inappropriate Moment 1- Me taking the bride’s hot and very married sister to the other wedding reception in the building and dirty dancing with her to “Let’s Get it On” with a crowd of people around us cheering us on. They actually asked us to stay at their reception and ended up buying us shots at their bar, I didn’t need the shots really because it led to…..

-Kevin Inappropriate Moment 2- The bride’s cousin mounted me in the very open dj booth while I was requesting a song and proceeded to make out with me which was caught on video tape to be preserved throughout time. I am really just counting down the days until that bad boy is put up on youtube.

Now instead of staying at the reception and going out in Buffalo that night, basically with all of us being able to hook up we get the bright idea to drive back to Geneseo to go out to our favorite bar. Do this day I can’t figure out the logic behind it, I think we figured that we would roll like the rat pack because we were wearing our tuxedos.

rat pack

When we arrived in Geneseo I apparently called my girlfriend and told her to meet me back at my place for some late night lovin’, at the time she wasn’t 21 yet so she couldn’t get into the bars so I was still free to make mistakes with girls that had a totally casual moral attitude. While at the bar I think I talked a ridiculous amount of shit to every female in there, I was wearing a tux so I felt like a pimp. Apparently during this time I invited a certain young lady to my house, who had been there before when I was single, which led to:

-Kevin Inappropriate Moment 3-
My girlfriend was in my bed waiting for me when we returned from the bar, at that point I drunkly mauled her or made sweet romantic love, depending on whose point of view you want to take. As soon as our romantic interlude was over my drunken invite opened my bedroom door which led to multiple, “Who the fuck is she” questions. Needless to say things didn’t end well, the rest of the night including jewelry tossing and a lot of swearing with me trying to pass out.

Lesson learned: Sometimes you really do want to stay in Buffalo…

Do you guys have any great stories in wedding hook up history?

NOTE: I posted this as a bulletin the other day but I figured I would put it in here, I got into grad school on Thursday to the first place I applied to. Hopefully I will have some choices once the application process is completed but I just wanted to share that with you guys.

Filed in: Drunken Mistakes

About the author

Bobby Finstock

Finstock is founder of Pointlessbanter.net. He is known for his encyclopedia like knowledge on the life and times of Scott Baio. In the future he hopes to write again under his own name in order to impress the ladies and build his celebrity to the levels of other failed internet writers.

4 Responses to “Drunken Mistakes Volume 11- Wedding Crashing, Dry Humping, and a Cat Fight”

  1. randi says:

    In July I was a bridesmaid in a wedding up in Yosemite and I hooked up with the groom’s cousin. We had a tent cabin and I’m pretty sure we kept most of the park awake with our sexual antics. Then, two weeks later, I was a guest at another wedding and hooked up with the bride’s best friend who was also a groomsman. I guess wedding’s bring out the whore in me.

  2. randi says:

    or just the plural “weddings” as opposed to the possessive wedding’s.

  3. Kevin says:

    Looks like I should have met you at a wedding

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