Kevin’s “Freaking” Theories- The R.D. Theory aka How to Defeat China

Before I launch into the infamous rice dick theory I just wanted to point something out. I saw this article on CNN.com and I just wanted to tell you all that I always knew “Surviving the Game” was a documentary. Also to answer your questions from yesterday my vices are: drinking, gambling, and bukkake.

Now onto the second of five theories that when combined together guide give people a philosophy to not live their life by. This theory was actually created by a friend of mine, I can’t take credit for it but it was something that was debate for years. My friend Steve came up with it while we are sitting on a porch drinking and discussing why none of us has slept with an Asian girl. I am the first in my group to actually put logic behind it and document it. First let’s establish some facts:

Fact 1- Asian males have small dicks. And for those of you who don’t know Long Dong Silver wasn’t Asian he was actually a black male.

Fact 2- Asian males do not like their daughters dating outside of their race.

Now one must ask themselves why Asian fathers are so against inter-racial dating? Sure one could cite tradition and bullshit like that but the truth is that Asian males in order to retain their power structure and their race must not let their daughters sleep with non-Asian men because they will never go back, thus weakening the Asian population.

Over the years people have become really worried about the overall economic power of Japan and the giant that China has become. The simple way to combat this issue is send over a bunch of white males to sleep with as many Asian women as possible. Let’s start by sending over this man:

He seems to understand the concept of size.

FAQ-

Q:Why not just send some black guys over and have them sleep with them, surely it would be better than that average sized white cock?

A: It would be like going from your rabbit vibrator to using a telephone pole, there are physical complications. Why do you think Tiger Woods is an only child? Scientific studies back this up. Asian women fear the black cock.

Q: I heard that Asian womens vaginas are sideways like their eyes, so is Asian cock designed to work specifically with this type of Vagina?

A: Apparently the whole vagina story is a lie, since I have never slept with an Asian girl I can not confirm this.

Q: If you extrapolate this theory does this also not explain “once you go black you never go back”?

A: Yes, which is further proof of the validity of this theory.

So there you have it, the second of five theories. I ask the men reading this blog to do their duty and go bang an Asian chick immediately, if you are in a relationship explain that you are doing this to help out the United States and curb the ever growing power of Asian nations. Your girlfriend/wife will have to understand and green light that little project.

I have no question to ask here, so I am going to randomly ask how much was that doggy in the window, you know the one with the waggly tail?